It has been at least eight months since I've gone for a haircut. We can't technically afford it, but when the math ceases to work out and you rely on God for every single morsel, you honestly begin to believe he'll provide.
For instance, we can't afford a whole month of food either, and yet so far we've not gone hungry. Our van, our only vehicle, is twelve years old and has 156,000 miles on it. Buying a new, used van isn't an option, nor is repairing the one we've got, should it break down. I've worried about this over the past year, but now I've come to assume that God has a plan for our transportation needs. He knows Don can't work or get to school without a vehicle, and that we can't get to church without one. He knows our needs, before we pray about them.
Back to my hair. Assessing it this morning, I saw that the last four inches looked very unhealthy. I wanted to cry at the mess staring back at me.
I told my husband, "I've waited at least eight months. Do you think I can go get a quick, cheap haircut?"
My husband, whether good or bad, is beyond thinking we have any control over anything, so he just responded, "Sure."
So off I went on a mini retreat to the local Best Cuts, praying for a seasoned stylist, rather than one just out of school.
I sat for twenty-five minutes waiting for my turn. Relaxing doesn't begin to describe my experience there. As Anna's sleep issues worsen by the week, I have less and less time to unwind. My temper is often short, and I feel like I don't have control over anything. Or at least, control over the things that make up my agenda.
Today, I'm humbly reminded that
only His agenda matters.
Timothy, now six, was also an awful sleeper, leaving me little time during the day or evenings to accomplish anything. But, that kid is unquestionably a bit of a genius, so the all-night/day breastmilk diner just might have a purpose. I'm willing to go through it for another year, just in case. I think. Having at least two kids who practically homeschool themselves could benefit me for years--not to mention them. It just might be part of God's plan for my future sanity.
Anyhow, back to Best Cuts, and my mini retreat. After watching a very kind stylist cut an elderly gentleman's hair, smiling at him numerous times all the while, I thought, what a very gentle, sweet person she must be. She seemed to genuinely enjoy serving others. Not at all like cranky old me, who only wishes in my wildest dreams that I look that kind and gentle, as I serve others.
Finally, the gentleman left, and she cleaned up her area and made a personal-business phone call, prolonging my retreat. As she did these things, I just kept asking God for help. Help with my discouragement, help with my depression regarding aging, help with my motley crew of hyperactive children--lovable though they are, and help loving my over-studied, under-slept, extremely stressed out, cranky husband--lovable though he is.
In the next thirty minutes, as she cut my hair, she was like an angel in my midst. She told me how pretty my hair was (it's not), how healthy it was, and how 43 is not so old (it is). Can you tell my love language is affirming words?
Her oldest child, nearly 20, ventured out on his own, and is working on buying a house--one street away from her. She had him when she was 18, and what a wonderful job she did! You know you've done a good job when they want to live one street away!
I don't know much more of her story. She has a boyfriend and another son, aged fourteen. She is 38, and looks like my twin, only younger.
She was a friend to me, for those thirty minutes. I left encouraged, happier, less burdened, and less alone (somehow). It doesn't make sense, but that's how I felt. And when she gave me her card, I saw that she was the store manager. Thank you, God! LOL I got the best! She gave a great haircut, and she gave me tips on eventually buying a semi-permanent color, over-the-counter, to cover my white hairs.
Thank you God, for the angel of a person you put in my midst. Thank you for the gift of a haircut. Thank you for the lift in my spirits. Thank you for the friend. Thank you for allowing me the time away to be encouraged, so I can, in turn, encourage my children and my husband.
Thank you for always being there. For always providing. Everything.
Showing posts with label friendship. Show all posts
Showing posts with label friendship. Show all posts
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Thursday, October 22, 2009
some catching up
I wanted to report by now that good health has once again returned. However, we are all still coughing and dealing with lower energy levels. Sinus infections don't go away easily, I'm discovering. I've taken to boiling water and putting my head over the pan several times a day, to ensure that the intense pain doesn't return.
The financial stress we've been under (six months without a full-time job), is something I've endured pretty well. Recently though, with the added health stress, my positive outlook has taken a nosedive. The economy just isn't recovering. I find myself praying daily for greater endurance. I know God won't stop providing, but I'm just so weary.
Our neighbor has been out of work since January (specialized work in the auto business). My cousin Rick in CA--who owns a custom landscaping business--can't find any work and may lose his house. He previously did very well financially, meaning he has a hefty house payment. Unfortunately, his set of skills is very specialized; I don't recall him ever doing any other kind of work.
All of us have heard sad stories, I'm sure.
Hardship is a great teacher. We mustn't forget that, even as the recession drags on.
A friend of my husband's called the other day, out of the blue. Don couldn't really get out of telling Jim about the job loss, but he did reassure Jim that we're meeting all our bills. In an act of great kindness, Jim sent a $100.00 check, which arrived a few days later. Our cell phone bill was nearly a month overdue (Don didn't know this). We don't have a land phone, so paying our cell bill was a necessity. We both got teary-eyed over the blessing, but accepting it was hard. Yes, God put it on Jim's heart to do this, and we're grateful. It's just that we would really like to get back to paying our own expenses.
This aspect of hardship is harder on me than on Don. There are givers and takers in the world, and many people in between. Don is in between; I am a heavy giver. Taking feels so unnatural. I can see God wanting me to learn how to receive, but does He have to drag it out this long? Good grief! (And yes, I was telling the truth about the jackets, Dear Reader (who sent me an e-mail). We all have jackets! Bless your heart!)
In another random act of kindness, Don's sister sent a $300 check, to ensure that Don has sufficient funds to take his first computer-certification exam. Someone rear-ended her vehicle recently, and she received a $550 dollar check from the driver's insurance company. She decided to have her son fix her car, enabling her to send some of the insurance money to Don. We had another teary-eyed letter-opening session. God is so faithful. And so are his servants! We are blessed beyond measure, truly; I have no right to be feeling so down.
Yesterday Daniel and I attended his first counseling session. I gave a detailed history, and the therapist made a diagnosis and wrote treatment goals. Daniel has Generalized Anxiety Disorder (runs in my family). He will see his therapist once a week, until the goals have been met.
He is still off his ADHD meds. I'm happy to report that, with the token behavior system we're using, he's been more manageable this week.
On the way home from the appointment, Daniel asked me if Amanda (therapist's name) loved Jesus. I replied, "I don't know if she does or not, but even if she doesn't, she can still teach you strategies for dealing with your fears. She went to college to learn how to help people manage their feelings, and I think she enjoys her job. Once you get to know her, maybe you can tell her about Jesus."
I watched him in the rear-view mirror as I said this. He just smiled. God will use my Daniel in mighty ways. The poor guy has some handicaps that I wouldn't wish on anyone, but he also has a heart of gold, and a deep love for his Savior.
Last night during prayer time at AWANA class, the teacher asked the children to take turns praying. Daniel prayed that he would do well next week, when he talked to Amanda about his fears. Timothy told God that he loved Him, and that he wanted to love Him forever and ever.
My boys can really rattle my nerves. Pretty often. But last night, their prayers blessed me beyond measure! It was the boldness, the sweetness, and the sincerity. With all this recent stress, I've felt like such a failure as a mother. Their prayers helped me remember that I'm not the one raising my children. God is.
And he is a perfect parent.
The financial stress we've been under (six months without a full-time job), is something I've endured pretty well. Recently though, with the added health stress, my positive outlook has taken a nosedive. The economy just isn't recovering. I find myself praying daily for greater endurance. I know God won't stop providing, but I'm just so weary.
Our neighbor has been out of work since January (specialized work in the auto business). My cousin Rick in CA--who owns a custom landscaping business--can't find any work and may lose his house. He previously did very well financially, meaning he has a hefty house payment. Unfortunately, his set of skills is very specialized; I don't recall him ever doing any other kind of work.
All of us have heard sad stories, I'm sure.
Hardship is a great teacher. We mustn't forget that, even as the recession drags on.
A friend of my husband's called the other day, out of the blue. Don couldn't really get out of telling Jim about the job loss, but he did reassure Jim that we're meeting all our bills. In an act of great kindness, Jim sent a $100.00 check, which arrived a few days later. Our cell phone bill was nearly a month overdue (Don didn't know this). We don't have a land phone, so paying our cell bill was a necessity. We both got teary-eyed over the blessing, but accepting it was hard. Yes, God put it on Jim's heart to do this, and we're grateful. It's just that we would really like to get back to paying our own expenses.
This aspect of hardship is harder on me than on Don. There are givers and takers in the world, and many people in between. Don is in between; I am a heavy giver. Taking feels so unnatural. I can see God wanting me to learn how to receive, but does He have to drag it out this long? Good grief! (And yes, I was telling the truth about the jackets, Dear Reader (who sent me an e-mail). We all have jackets! Bless your heart!)
In another random act of kindness, Don's sister sent a $300 check, to ensure that Don has sufficient funds to take his first computer-certification exam. Someone rear-ended her vehicle recently, and she received a $550 dollar check from the driver's insurance company. She decided to have her son fix her car, enabling her to send some of the insurance money to Don. We had another teary-eyed letter-opening session. God is so faithful. And so are his servants! We are blessed beyond measure, truly; I have no right to be feeling so down.
Yesterday Daniel and I attended his first counseling session. I gave a detailed history, and the therapist made a diagnosis and wrote treatment goals. Daniel has Generalized Anxiety Disorder (runs in my family). He will see his therapist once a week, until the goals have been met.
He is still off his ADHD meds. I'm happy to report that, with the token behavior system we're using, he's been more manageable this week.
On the way home from the appointment, Daniel asked me if Amanda (therapist's name) loved Jesus. I replied, "I don't know if she does or not, but even if she doesn't, she can still teach you strategies for dealing with your fears. She went to college to learn how to help people manage their feelings, and I think she enjoys her job. Once you get to know her, maybe you can tell her about Jesus."
I watched him in the rear-view mirror as I said this. He just smiled. God will use my Daniel in mighty ways. The poor guy has some handicaps that I wouldn't wish on anyone, but he also has a heart of gold, and a deep love for his Savior.
Last night during prayer time at AWANA class, the teacher asked the children to take turns praying. Daniel prayed that he would do well next week, when he talked to Amanda about his fears. Timothy told God that he loved Him, and that he wanted to love Him forever and ever.
My boys can really rattle my nerves. Pretty often. But last night, their prayers blessed me beyond measure! It was the boldness, the sweetness, and the sincerity. With all this recent stress, I've felt like such a failure as a mother. Their prayers helped me remember that I'm not the one raising my children. God is.
And he is a perfect parent.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
blessings
Time to count some blessings:
1. Another awesome homeschooling playdate today. Weather was again perfect for hiking--at a new park this time. The children all waded in a lovely stream, looked for wildlife and thoroughly enjoyed each other's fellowship. A new child, Elizabeth, age 7 (and her dad) joined us. Elizabeth is another tomboy--a child after my Daniel's heart, much like Faith, the four-year-old who joins us every time. Only Elizabeth is Daniel's same age and she's more verbal and outgoing. Possibly the perfect friend for him. She collects as many creatures as Daniel and loves nature with the same intensity.
Her dad owns a toy shop; please say a quick prayer for him. Business is poor right now, due to the economy. He is struggling to stay open and had to recently apply for a credit card to get his car transmission fixed. Ouch. We can so relate to his struggles right now. God brought our two families together right now for a purpose, perhaps? Absolutely, I think. We can lend a listening ear, help take Elizabeth to activities, and have her over for playdates. It's a divorce situation, and dad is trying to homeschool her while continuing to run the business. She doesn't get as much social interaction as dad would like to provide.
2. I've mentioned that my husband probably has ADHD or ADD? He loses things frequently and needs help getting out the door with glasses, keys and wallet in hand. His inattentiveness means that he leaves knives within the kids' reach, forgets to lock the door at night, leaves the kids outside too long without supervision, leaves our two-year-old on the potty and forgets her....etc. He helps a lot, but I always have to be paying attention. I have to do a lot of checking. ADHD/ADD sufferers (kids AND adults) are commonly deemed lazy and irresponsible, by unknowing outsiders. Yes, an adult should know to put wallet/keys/glasses in the same place every time. It shouldn't be an issue before every outing, but it is. It's easy for me to get extremely irritated at all the ways this brain disorder makes my husband seem childlike. But God doesn't allow that. Don's dad couldn't take it (didn't understand it) and the two of them had a horrible relationship. God doesn't want that unhealthy pattern repeated between Don and me. So he gave me a son who struggles in related areas (less inattentive but more impulsive). Thus, I have an understanding of my husband's struggles. Most of the time I see these two not as the rest of the world sees them, but as God sees them. I can look for the glasses or keys for the millionth time and hand them over with a smile, knowing that my husband is doing his best. I look at him and I don't see lazy or irresponsible. I see unique, godly qualities. It's a privilege to extend grace toward my husband. It's a blessing that he extends it to me, everyday. My marriage is a blessing--such a rock in these troubled times.
3. I helped in AWANA at church the last two weeks. Timothy is in my class this year (Sparks K-2), along with Daniel. It's the first time I've seen Timothy in a classroom situation. He's a very good boy! I wanted to scoop him up tonight and squeeze the stuffing out of him--I was so proud! Daniel has his wiggle, tapping, and voice-volume issues, and needs to remember not to sit next to someone he'll talk to, but he is mostly good as well. They enjoy the lessons and activities, which are very well thought out.
Tonight the main teacher held up a piece of paper with a magnet behind it and a paper clip in front of it. The paper clip was being moved around by the magnet. The lesson was that we can't see God--like the paper clip can't see the magnet--but we can still be (must be) subject to his lead. Such visual demonstrations are valuable for kids like Timothy, who need to see, see, see to comprehend. AWANA is a blessing!
4. Another blessing that's come out of this bad economy has to do with my increased ability to extend grace toward strangers. Before, I was quicker to judge things I just didn't understand. The school I taught in for nine years comes to mind a lot now. It was a low-income area, with 90% of the student body receiving free lunch/breakfast. The teachers--me included--had a tendency to look down on the parents for failing to do any homework with their students, come to conferences, remember needed items, get rid of lice quickly, etc. We were easily irritated by what seemed to be blatant irresponsibility. Many of them didn't even work, or they were among the working poor (working part-time or full-time for a low wage).
Now that we are doing creative math with our checking account--juggling two part-time job paydays with partial unemployment disbursements--to get the mortgage and utilities paid and keep the meals coming, my eyes have been opened to how hard daily life is for the economically disadvantaged. Routine things take a lot longer to accomplish. You can't mail a bill because you don't have money for stamps...or you need groceries but you can only get a few things, until payday. You live on a day-to-day basis, spending more time shopping, bill paying, checkbook watching, etc. Nothing is simple or routine. There is a steady stream of financial issues, partially because you can't afford to do things well, or ahead of time, like fix that car properly, deal with that roof issue, buy clothes that last, buy resume paper, have enough gas to get to the interview, etc. I could go on and on.
We have God to lift us up and give us hope, but those families I worked with as a teacher didn't. Reading to their kids once a day was the last thing on their minds. They were just trying to survive. They couldn't get rid of lice quickly because buying the lice-removal equipment and having the quarters for all the extra loads of laundry was just too much of a burden. (No, my kids don't have lice...just an example.)
I'm deeply, deeply ashamed for every minute I spent judging them. No, I was never rude or even short with them; I behaved professionally. But my heart wasn't soft. There was no there-but-for-the-grace-of-God-go-I sentiments. They should be trying harder, I thought. We all thought it, at that school. Shame on us! We had no idea! They were in a state of constant stress, with no hope of improvement. It wasn't temporary hardship due to a bad economy--it was a way of life. Some of them had never known anything different.
Passing judgement is folly. Always.
1. Another awesome homeschooling playdate today. Weather was again perfect for hiking--at a new park this time. The children all waded in a lovely stream, looked for wildlife and thoroughly enjoyed each other's fellowship. A new child, Elizabeth, age 7 (and her dad) joined us. Elizabeth is another tomboy--a child after my Daniel's heart, much like Faith, the four-year-old who joins us every time. Only Elizabeth is Daniel's same age and she's more verbal and outgoing. Possibly the perfect friend for him. She collects as many creatures as Daniel and loves nature with the same intensity.
Her dad owns a toy shop; please say a quick prayer for him. Business is poor right now, due to the economy. He is struggling to stay open and had to recently apply for a credit card to get his car transmission fixed. Ouch. We can so relate to his struggles right now. God brought our two families together right now for a purpose, perhaps? Absolutely, I think. We can lend a listening ear, help take Elizabeth to activities, and have her over for playdates. It's a divorce situation, and dad is trying to homeschool her while continuing to run the business. She doesn't get as much social interaction as dad would like to provide.
2. I've mentioned that my husband probably has ADHD or ADD? He loses things frequently and needs help getting out the door with glasses, keys and wallet in hand. His inattentiveness means that he leaves knives within the kids' reach, forgets to lock the door at night, leaves the kids outside too long without supervision, leaves our two-year-old on the potty and forgets her....etc. He helps a lot, but I always have to be paying attention. I have to do a lot of checking. ADHD/ADD sufferers (kids AND adults) are commonly deemed lazy and irresponsible, by unknowing outsiders. Yes, an adult should know to put wallet/keys/glasses in the same place every time. It shouldn't be an issue before every outing, but it is. It's easy for me to get extremely irritated at all the ways this brain disorder makes my husband seem childlike. But God doesn't allow that. Don's dad couldn't take it (didn't understand it) and the two of them had a horrible relationship. God doesn't want that unhealthy pattern repeated between Don and me. So he gave me a son who struggles in related areas (less inattentive but more impulsive). Thus, I have an understanding of my husband's struggles. Most of the time I see these two not as the rest of the world sees them, but as God sees them. I can look for the glasses or keys for the millionth time and hand them over with a smile, knowing that my husband is doing his best. I look at him and I don't see lazy or irresponsible. I see unique, godly qualities. It's a privilege to extend grace toward my husband. It's a blessing that he extends it to me, everyday. My marriage is a blessing--such a rock in these troubled times.
3. I helped in AWANA at church the last two weeks. Timothy is in my class this year (Sparks K-2), along with Daniel. It's the first time I've seen Timothy in a classroom situation. He's a very good boy! I wanted to scoop him up tonight and squeeze the stuffing out of him--I was so proud! Daniel has his wiggle, tapping, and voice-volume issues, and needs to remember not to sit next to someone he'll talk to, but he is mostly good as well. They enjoy the lessons and activities, which are very well thought out.
Tonight the main teacher held up a piece of paper with a magnet behind it and a paper clip in front of it. The paper clip was being moved around by the magnet. The lesson was that we can't see God--like the paper clip can't see the magnet--but we can still be (must be) subject to his lead. Such visual demonstrations are valuable for kids like Timothy, who need to see, see, see to comprehend. AWANA is a blessing!
4. Another blessing that's come out of this bad economy has to do with my increased ability to extend grace toward strangers. Before, I was quicker to judge things I just didn't understand. The school I taught in for nine years comes to mind a lot now. It was a low-income area, with 90% of the student body receiving free lunch/breakfast. The teachers--me included--had a tendency to look down on the parents for failing to do any homework with their students, come to conferences, remember needed items, get rid of lice quickly, etc. We were easily irritated by what seemed to be blatant irresponsibility. Many of them didn't even work, or they were among the working poor (working part-time or full-time for a low wage).
Now that we are doing creative math with our checking account--juggling two part-time job paydays with partial unemployment disbursements--to get the mortgage and utilities paid and keep the meals coming, my eyes have been opened to how hard daily life is for the economically disadvantaged. Routine things take a lot longer to accomplish. You can't mail a bill because you don't have money for stamps...or you need groceries but you can only get a few things, until payday. You live on a day-to-day basis, spending more time shopping, bill paying, checkbook watching, etc. Nothing is simple or routine. There is a steady stream of financial issues, partially because you can't afford to do things well, or ahead of time, like fix that car properly, deal with that roof issue, buy clothes that last, buy resume paper, have enough gas to get to the interview, etc. I could go on and on.
We have God to lift us up and give us hope, but those families I worked with as a teacher didn't. Reading to their kids once a day was the last thing on their minds. They were just trying to survive. They couldn't get rid of lice quickly because buying the lice-removal equipment and having the quarters for all the extra loads of laundry was just too much of a burden. (No, my kids don't have lice...just an example.)
I'm deeply, deeply ashamed for every minute I spent judging them. No, I was never rude or even short with them; I behaved professionally. But my heart wasn't soft. There was no there-but-for-the-grace-of-God-go-I sentiments. They should be trying harder, I thought. We all thought it, at that school. Shame on us! We had no idea! They were in a state of constant stress, with no hope of improvement. It wasn't temporary hardship due to a bad economy--it was a way of life. Some of them had never known anything different.
Passing judgement is folly. Always.
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Teeth and Playdates
Good Saturday morning to you.
My sweet Anna Grace birthed her first tooth this week. The other day Emily Rose came to me, holding up her finger.
Emily: "The baby bit me, Mommy."
Momma: "Did she get you with her gums? She doesn't actually have teeth yet." (I had checked that morning--nothing)
Emily: "No, Mommy. Baby bit me."
I told her I was sorry and that Anna didn't mean to hurt her. I still didn't think it was an actual bite, but I wasn't going to argue with a two-year-old.
Later that evening Grandpa and his wife came over for a barbecue. While holding the baby, my Dad said, laughing: "She's got some pretty sharp teeth."
Momma: "I checked this morning and didn't feel anything. Are you sure it was a tooth?"
Grandpa: "She's got teeth now."
Lo and behold, Anna had birthed her first tooth, after 2.5 months of hard labor.
Momma: "Yippee! Maybe she'll sleep tonight!"
Wishful thinking.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In other news, we went on another park playdate with the homeschoolers. It wasn't naptime for Anna, and since she cries when alone with Daddy, he elected to come with us rather than watch Anna by himself. It would have been impossible to manage the four of them on my own at a large park, so once again I was thanking the Lord for the help.
In some ways I know we would be on a tighter routine without him home, but the extra hands help with the nearly constant diaper changes, potty trips, laundry, and meal-making. Some days this is ALL we manage to get done. People who see our yard (weeds,toys) probably think we're lazy. With two adults home it should be neater, they surmise; I know my Dad thinks that. However, my husband never rests. Helping to care for the children, going to his part-time jobs, looking for full-time jobs, and doing his computer-tech schoolwork, makes for more than a full day. Without the experience of having four children close together, no one can fathom how busy we are.
When evaluating how you're "doing" in your life, always remember to avoid comparing yourself to others. Everyone has a different set of blessings and a different set of challenges. And no one is truly privy to the baggage we might have from our upbringing. Indeed, even when the baggage is old news and completely forgiven, it still affects our skill set as adults. Such baggage is part of the human condition; imperfect parents make for imperfect kids.
Now back to that play date I began writing about. It was awesome! Just two other ladies were there this time. One was the original organizer of the event, Dawn, and a new mom, Kim. Both have rather soft-spoken, gentle personalities--much like mine. My writing isn't always gentle, I know. But if you were to meet me, you would only see soft-spokenness, mixed with an openness and joy and a bit of nervousness. It's a funny thing how writing brings out different aspects of our personality.
It was so nice to feel completely at ease with these ladies! The whole time I was thanking the Lord for the experience, even though I was cognizant that one of the ladies was probably nearly half my age, and the other around thirty. Don thinks I could be way off, but oh well. The point is I'm old. No way around that.
Dawn, the young Michigan-transplant mom who organized it, has two daughters, ages 2 and 4.5. Her husband was transferred here for a year to work in a General Motors plant. They are half expecting a layoff soon though. If not, they'll go back to Michigan to resume work in his other plant, presumably--in a year.
The other mom, an unschooler (meaning the entire curriculum is interest-driven only) has three children--ages around 7, 4, and 1. She suspects that her four-year-old son needs more structure than unschooling provides. He's a live wire, it seems. I can share some tips on dealing with live wires, if she ever asks. LOL
My boys made fast friends with Faith, Dawn's older daughter; she's a tomboy who loves insects. Don took these three out into a field, looking for butterflies. As the Lord would have it, he caught a praying mantis for Faith, who had brought her net and insect container to the park. Faith and her Mom were thrilled! Daniel and Daddy proceeded to find three small insects for it to eat.
Later, the three kids found a tiny toad at the base of a tree. We all admired his cuteness, as though he were a newborn baby just home from the hospital. Homeschoolers are a bit weird, as people go. I find that we are amazingly similar in some subtle ways. For example, the outdoor classroom--or any classroom away from home--holds a special place in our hearts. Stumbling upon learning is a thrill up our spines!
Daniel was initially sad that Daddy hadn't caught HIM a mantis, but it was a good lesson in putting others above one's self. Daniel had already had the experience of caring for a praying mantis AND its egg sac, in 2008. We'll find another this year, I'm sure.
The ladies and I enjoyed each other's children, and shared ideas on what educational field trips were available in our area of Ohio. And the new mom invited us to her mini-farm next Wednesday for a lunch play date. She has 30 apples trees in her orchard, and a ton of blackberry bushes in the woods behind her home. We'll be picking blackberries! We're all as excited as a group of kindergartners taking their first field trip! LOL
Dear Lord, you are good! What a blessing!
As an aside, if you are praying for a close relative, and have been for awhile--sometimes losing faith--this is for you.
My sweet Anna Grace birthed her first tooth this week. The other day Emily Rose came to me, holding up her finger.
Emily: "The baby bit me, Mommy."
Momma: "Did she get you with her gums? She doesn't actually have teeth yet." (I had checked that morning--nothing)
Emily: "No, Mommy. Baby bit me."
I told her I was sorry and that Anna didn't mean to hurt her. I still didn't think it was an actual bite, but I wasn't going to argue with a two-year-old.
Later that evening Grandpa and his wife came over for a barbecue. While holding the baby, my Dad said, laughing: "She's got some pretty sharp teeth."
Momma: "I checked this morning and didn't feel anything. Are you sure it was a tooth?"
Grandpa: "She's got teeth now."
Lo and behold, Anna had birthed her first tooth, after 2.5 months of hard labor.
Momma: "Yippee! Maybe she'll sleep tonight!"
Wishful thinking.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In other news, we went on another park playdate with the homeschoolers. It wasn't naptime for Anna, and since she cries when alone with Daddy, he elected to come with us rather than watch Anna by himself. It would have been impossible to manage the four of them on my own at a large park, so once again I was thanking the Lord for the help.
In some ways I know we would be on a tighter routine without him home, but the extra hands help with the nearly constant diaper changes, potty trips, laundry, and meal-making. Some days this is ALL we manage to get done. People who see our yard (weeds,toys) probably think we're lazy. With two adults home it should be neater, they surmise; I know my Dad thinks that. However, my husband never rests. Helping to care for the children, going to his part-time jobs, looking for full-time jobs, and doing his computer-tech schoolwork, makes for more than a full day. Without the experience of having four children close together, no one can fathom how busy we are.
When evaluating how you're "doing" in your life, always remember to avoid comparing yourself to others. Everyone has a different set of blessings and a different set of challenges. And no one is truly privy to the baggage we might have from our upbringing. Indeed, even when the baggage is old news and completely forgiven, it still affects our skill set as adults. Such baggage is part of the human condition; imperfect parents make for imperfect kids.
Now back to that play date I began writing about. It was awesome! Just two other ladies were there this time. One was the original organizer of the event, Dawn, and a new mom, Kim. Both have rather soft-spoken, gentle personalities--much like mine. My writing isn't always gentle, I know. But if you were to meet me, you would only see soft-spokenness, mixed with an openness and joy and a bit of nervousness. It's a funny thing how writing brings out different aspects of our personality.
It was so nice to feel completely at ease with these ladies! The whole time I was thanking the Lord for the experience, even though I was cognizant that one of the ladies was probably nearly half my age, and the other around thirty. Don thinks I could be way off, but oh well. The point is I'm old. No way around that.
Dawn, the young Michigan-transplant mom who organized it, has two daughters, ages 2 and 4.5. Her husband was transferred here for a year to work in a General Motors plant. They are half expecting a layoff soon though. If not, they'll go back to Michigan to resume work in his other plant, presumably--in a year.
The other mom, an unschooler (meaning the entire curriculum is interest-driven only) has three children--ages around 7, 4, and 1. She suspects that her four-year-old son needs more structure than unschooling provides. He's a live wire, it seems. I can share some tips on dealing with live wires, if she ever asks. LOL
My boys made fast friends with Faith, Dawn's older daughter; she's a tomboy who loves insects. Don took these three out into a field, looking for butterflies. As the Lord would have it, he caught a praying mantis for Faith, who had brought her net and insect container to the park. Faith and her Mom were thrilled! Daniel and Daddy proceeded to find three small insects for it to eat.
Later, the three kids found a tiny toad at the base of a tree. We all admired his cuteness, as though he were a newborn baby just home from the hospital. Homeschoolers are a bit weird, as people go. I find that we are amazingly similar in some subtle ways. For example, the outdoor classroom--or any classroom away from home--holds a special place in our hearts. Stumbling upon learning is a thrill up our spines!
Daniel was initially sad that Daddy hadn't caught HIM a mantis, but it was a good lesson in putting others above one's self. Daniel had already had the experience of caring for a praying mantis AND its egg sac, in 2008. We'll find another this year, I'm sure.
The ladies and I enjoyed each other's children, and shared ideas on what educational field trips were available in our area of Ohio. And the new mom invited us to her mini-farm next Wednesday for a lunch play date. She has 30 apples trees in her orchard, and a ton of blackberry bushes in the woods behind her home. We'll be picking blackberries! We're all as excited as a group of kindergartners taking their first field trip! LOL
Dear Lord, you are good! What a blessing!
As an aside, if you are praying for a close relative, and have been for awhile--sometimes losing faith--this is for you.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Just the thing
Something really good happened yesterday. And it was NOT Don's dentist appointment. No, not that dreaded event. Due to a bicycle fall, his front top teeth were crowned when he was a teen and the crowns finally wore out. He lost one of his front teeth last week--necessitating a $1300 partial procedure, for which we've had to obtain a loan. Doing so--especially now--made us both sick to our stomachs. However, job hunting without one's front teeth didn't seem like a viable option. Thank God our credit was good enough to qualify; I guess that's a blessing? Hard to find the blessing in this, really.
And the good thing was NOT the boys' decision to let their fireflies go the other night--all over their bedroom. No, it wasn't that ill-conceived event. Daddy and Daniel are STILL trying to catch the twenty or so fireflies that have taken over our home.
Now for that really good thing. Emily, the boys, and I went on a homeschooling park playdate. The playground equipment was new and simply awesome, so the kids stayed engaged and I was able to connect with some very nice mothers. They are all relatively new to Ohio. Having a baby and being a slave to naps has kept me isolated these seven months. I really needed these connections. We will meet again in two weeks--a. really. good. thing.
Thanks Lord, for knowing what I need, and for providing it in so timely a way. Can I just say:
My God is an awesome God!
He reigns from Heaven above,
With wisdom, power and love,
My God is an awesome God!
And the good thing was NOT the boys' decision to let their fireflies go the other night--all over their bedroom. No, it wasn't that ill-conceived event. Daddy and Daniel are STILL trying to catch the twenty or so fireflies that have taken over our home.
Now for that really good thing. Emily, the boys, and I went on a homeschooling park playdate. The playground equipment was new and simply awesome, so the kids stayed engaged and I was able to connect with some very nice mothers. They are all relatively new to Ohio. Having a baby and being a slave to naps has kept me isolated these seven months. I really needed these connections. We will meet again in two weeks--a. really. good. thing.
Thanks Lord, for knowing what I need, and for providing it in so timely a way. Can I just say:
My God is an awesome God!
He reigns from Heaven above,
With wisdom, power and love,
My God is an awesome God!
Thursday, July 2, 2009
A slice of childhood
The kids are outside with Daddy--in the rain. Emily Rose is trying out her new raincoat. I couldn't find a girl's style at the thrift store, but this one is plain bus-yellow and seems rather unisex. She totally feels like a million bucks in it, so that's all that matters. :)
Big brother Daniel has a similar-looking style. Those two are attached at the hip in some ways. Timothy is Daniel's main playmate, but Timmy only likes small segments of time outdoors, whereas Daniel could easily spend all day out there. Emily is SO outdoorsy that she's like Daniel's soul mate in this respect. Thank God!
Yesterday, while watching them from the window, I saw Daniel showing Emily how to catch insects off of plants. He takes a plastic lunch-meat container and uses its lid to gently coax the insect into the container. She was such a dutiful student--copying his every move. Precious sight indeed, seeing these two bond in this way.
This morning brought another reminder of how closely in tune with logic my Timothy is. He was getting dressed while talking to me, and accidentally started putting on his shorts before his underwear. He talks to himself a lot, so I wasn't surprised that he stopped and giggled and said, "I'm supposed to put the underwear on first." Then he paused a bit more and said, " I know why we put underwear on first. It's because pants have zippers and snaps and we could get cut and have to go to the hospital." Then he paused again, and said, "But these shorts don't have any snaps or anything, so I could wear them without the underwear."
Mommy: "No, Timothy, we wear underwear everyday. It's just what we do." I knew his logical side was going to lead to an underwear-less day, if I let it.
Timothy: "But let me try them without it."
So he tries them on and walks around in circles.
Timothy: "They feel great. So comfy."
Mommy: "But Timothy. We were underwear everyday."
Timothy: "Okay. But we really only NEED underwear because of snaps and zippers."
I sensed that he needed to have the last word on this. So I said nothing, and only laughed and gave him a good squeeze. He's my only child who lives for a cuddle! And he's also the most stubborn of the bunch.
Grandpa says he takes after me that way.
Big brother Daniel has a similar-looking style. Those two are attached at the hip in some ways. Timothy is Daniel's main playmate, but Timmy only likes small segments of time outdoors, whereas Daniel could easily spend all day out there. Emily is SO outdoorsy that she's like Daniel's soul mate in this respect. Thank God!
Yesterday, while watching them from the window, I saw Daniel showing Emily how to catch insects off of plants. He takes a plastic lunch-meat container and uses its lid to gently coax the insect into the container. She was such a dutiful student--copying his every move. Precious sight indeed, seeing these two bond in this way.
This morning brought another reminder of how closely in tune with logic my Timothy is. He was getting dressed while talking to me, and accidentally started putting on his shorts before his underwear. He talks to himself a lot, so I wasn't surprised that he stopped and giggled and said, "I'm supposed to put the underwear on first." Then he paused a bit more and said, " I know why we put underwear on first. It's because pants have zippers and snaps and we could get cut and have to go to the hospital." Then he paused again, and said, "But these shorts don't have any snaps or anything, so I could wear them without the underwear."
Mommy: "No, Timothy, we wear underwear everyday. It's just what we do." I knew his logical side was going to lead to an underwear-less day, if I let it.
Timothy: "But let me try them without it."
So he tries them on and walks around in circles.
Timothy: "They feel great. So comfy."
Mommy: "But Timothy. We were underwear everyday."
Timothy: "Okay. But we really only NEED underwear because of snaps and zippers."
I sensed that he needed to have the last word on this. So I said nothing, and only laughed and gave him a good squeeze. He's my only child who lives for a cuddle! And he's also the most stubborn of the bunch.
Grandpa says he takes after me that way.
Friday, April 3, 2009
Let Us Rejoice
I've met another mom! Check out the Suiresphere blog, on the sidebar, authored by Stephanie, who is a working, pregnant mom, residing near Dallas. She has a two-year-old daughter. It will be grueling in another eight weeks, when her bundle of joy arrives. She'll need your support and love. This is my second time handling a two year old AND a baby. Quite a juggling act, no matter how much you prepare beforehand.
Last I wrote about TV, recall that the boys were newly required to earn their viewing time, by keeping the playroom and their bedroom clean. It's working beautifully so far, to both curb screen time, and keep the house neater.
Wanting to cut down their viewing even further, I added a second tier to the arrangement. They now have to stay within a one-hour-per-day limit. Timothy, who is a strongly visual learner, is having the harder time giving up the visual stimulation. Daniel, more auditory and tactile, has had an easier time finding other pastimes. Last time I had a fussy baby, the boys watched too much for a three-month period, and Timothy had a similarly tough time with the withdrawal.
Anyway, don't think I'm hinting that your kids should cut down; I think the Lord extends grace for these survival-mode parenting times - especially when there's no extended family around to pitch in. Lately, however, he's made it clear to me that it's time to move on.
Our temperatures have risen, so outdoor play is on their radar again. Unfortunately, just as we've hit the fifties and low sixties, rain has arrived, for a four-day stay. Emily and I are singing "Rain, Rain, go away, fun-filled Emily wants to play."
But, praise the Lord for the beautifully greening grass, and the good-sized tulip shoots. It's all good. "This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it." Who cares if the unemployment rate hit 8.5%? Think about how God is feeding the tulips, and how engagingly he'll dress them. And he treasures us even more!
Last I wrote about TV, recall that the boys were newly required to earn their viewing time, by keeping the playroom and their bedroom clean. It's working beautifully so far, to both curb screen time, and keep the house neater.
Wanting to cut down their viewing even further, I added a second tier to the arrangement. They now have to stay within a one-hour-per-day limit. Timothy, who is a strongly visual learner, is having the harder time giving up the visual stimulation. Daniel, more auditory and tactile, has had an easier time finding other pastimes. Last time I had a fussy baby, the boys watched too much for a three-month period, and Timothy had a similarly tough time with the withdrawal.
Anyway, don't think I'm hinting that your kids should cut down; I think the Lord extends grace for these survival-mode parenting times - especially when there's no extended family around to pitch in. Lately, however, he's made it clear to me that it's time to move on.
Our temperatures have risen, so outdoor play is on their radar again. Unfortunately, just as we've hit the fifties and low sixties, rain has arrived, for a four-day stay. Emily and I are singing "Rain, Rain, go away, fun-filled Emily wants to play."
But, praise the Lord for the beautifully greening grass, and the good-sized tulip shoots. It's all good. "This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it." Who cares if the unemployment rate hit 8.5%? Think about how God is feeding the tulips, and how engagingly he'll dress them. And he treasures us even more!
Monday, March 30, 2009
Start Your Own Blog!
A few months ago I met Jess and her friend Margie, who are also Google Bloggers. Not in person, mind you, but through this blog. They were readers, and because Jess left a comment and I was able to click on her blog and get to know her, they have become my friends. I can't tell you how much it means to me to have them as friends.
As some of you might have experienced, once you are married and have young children, it becomes very hard to meet new friends, especially if you moved out of state after marrying. Even if you meet someone with whom you have something in common, it is hard to get together, due to nap schedules and such.
The Internet makes female friendship, at least in this phase of life, more accessible. You can sit and write an e-mail or a blog post when YOU have the time, and your friend can read your mail or your post and respond when THEY have the time. With young kids around, who really wants to visit over the phone? It isn't always practical or feasible; I find that I can't fully concentrate on what a caller is saying these days.
So, thank you very much to Jess for commenting that day! And Liz, I can't tell you how many times I've wished you had your own blog, enabling me to pop over and get to know you. Please DO start one. Write about anything and everything. It is so therapeutic. I write for practice, to blow off steam, to track my children's growth (electronic baby book of sorts), and to sort out my thoughts. I'll keep your e-mail address, in case you don't start your own blog.
When I happen upon a blog that already has hundreds of readers, I rarely leave a comment, unless it's to express condolences. It's unlikely I will ever have any connection to that person, so it doesn't usually seem worth it to comment. I feel like what I have to say, even if it's just a compliment, is just one of many, and therefore less valuable to the writer. This blog only has a handful of regular readers, so it seems more intimate to me.
Another thing about blogging - I could be way off with this, but I suspect it might be helpful for adult children to be able to read the history found in their mom or dad's parenting journal. Each decision we make as parents is complicated, and none are made in a vacuum. Grown children would be better able to extend grace toward their parents, armed with a realistic view of the complexities of raising children. I found that I didn't fully understand or appreciate my own mother until I started raising my own ADHD child. She married my step-father when I was five, and shortly after, had my half brother, who has ADD. Many of the things I didn't like about my childhood stemmed from the overall stress level my parents experienced as a result of the ADD. I didn't ever perceive them as happy, and remembered a lot of anger and turmoil, which turned me off. If she had kept a journal and allowed me, as an adult, to read it, I could have extended grace sooner and enjoyed a much better relationship with her. Our relationship hasn't been the greatest for a number of reasons, including my born-again faith (which she disdains), and because things are always complicated when there is a divorce in the mix; she divorced my real father when I was three.
But I digress terribly here. I meant for this to be about the benefits of blogging. If you are out there and you don't ever comment, please do. And start your own blog, so we can be friends. It's so easy - even I was able to do it! And I'm sadly lacking in technical skill.
If you don't care for writing, you can use the blog mainly for pictures, and to meet cyber buddies who will provide you with emotional support. I truly think your children would appreciate it someday as well.
Give me a heads up if you've taken the plunge and started your own blog. I'll add it to this blog's sidebar, and I'll bet you'll begin to make friends. Blogger is very easy to use; it walks you through the whole start up with easy prompts.
As some of you might have experienced, once you are married and have young children, it becomes very hard to meet new friends, especially if you moved out of state after marrying. Even if you meet someone with whom you have something in common, it is hard to get together, due to nap schedules and such.
The Internet makes female friendship, at least in this phase of life, more accessible. You can sit and write an e-mail or a blog post when YOU have the time, and your friend can read your mail or your post and respond when THEY have the time. With young kids around, who really wants to visit over the phone? It isn't always practical or feasible; I find that I can't fully concentrate on what a caller is saying these days.
So, thank you very much to Jess for commenting that day! And Liz, I can't tell you how many times I've wished you had your own blog, enabling me to pop over and get to know you. Please DO start one. Write about anything and everything. It is so therapeutic. I write for practice, to blow off steam, to track my children's growth (electronic baby book of sorts), and to sort out my thoughts. I'll keep your e-mail address, in case you don't start your own blog.
When I happen upon a blog that already has hundreds of readers, I rarely leave a comment, unless it's to express condolences. It's unlikely I will ever have any connection to that person, so it doesn't usually seem worth it to comment. I feel like what I have to say, even if it's just a compliment, is just one of many, and therefore less valuable to the writer. This blog only has a handful of regular readers, so it seems more intimate to me.
Another thing about blogging - I could be way off with this, but I suspect it might be helpful for adult children to be able to read the history found in their mom or dad's parenting journal. Each decision we make as parents is complicated, and none are made in a vacuum. Grown children would be better able to extend grace toward their parents, armed with a realistic view of the complexities of raising children. I found that I didn't fully understand or appreciate my own mother until I started raising my own ADHD child. She married my step-father when I was five, and shortly after, had my half brother, who has ADD. Many of the things I didn't like about my childhood stemmed from the overall stress level my parents experienced as a result of the ADD. I didn't ever perceive them as happy, and remembered a lot of anger and turmoil, which turned me off. If she had kept a journal and allowed me, as an adult, to read it, I could have extended grace sooner and enjoyed a much better relationship with her. Our relationship hasn't been the greatest for a number of reasons, including my born-again faith (which she disdains), and because things are always complicated when there is a divorce in the mix; she divorced my real father when I was three.
But I digress terribly here. I meant for this to be about the benefits of blogging. If you are out there and you don't ever comment, please do. And start your own blog, so we can be friends. It's so easy - even I was able to do it! And I'm sadly lacking in technical skill.
If you don't care for writing, you can use the blog mainly for pictures, and to meet cyber buddies who will provide you with emotional support. I truly think your children would appreciate it someday as well.
Give me a heads up if you've taken the plunge and started your own blog. I'll add it to this blog's sidebar, and I'll bet you'll begin to make friends. Blogger is very easy to use; it walks you through the whole start up with easy prompts.
Monday, February 2, 2009
Words and Gestures
Tonight, for the second time, I tried to attend the Ladies Bible Study, which occurs on Sunday evenings, along with an art class for the boys, nursery for Emily, and a Men's Bible Study for Don. Once again Anna Grace didn't cooperate, and I paced the church halls instead of fellowshipping and receiving spiritual food. I did my Bible Study homework though, which was valuable. I have to confess that during my pacing, I thought to myself, why bother? I can rock her at home more comfortably, and save myself some grief. Two teenagers care for the babies and toddlers, including Emily, but I don't feel comfortable asking them to care for a fussy baby.
As soon as the study ended, I went back into the room to retrieve my diaper bag, study book and carseat. The pastor's wife, who taught tonight, came over and thanked me for trying. I just can't tell you how blessed I feel by our Pastor and his wife. They are both just the nicest people - so gracious, kind and warm. God's love and peace just radiate from them. I so want to learn from them, and I want an opportunity to bless them in return.
Out in the hall I had just about decided to quit the study (but not the homework) until Anna's "colic" ended, but after the Pastor's wife came over and said thank you for trying, I felt encouraged and uplifted, and I knew at once that I would try again next week. Her words were perfect, her face gentle, her body language warm and sincere.
I have been reflecting lately that I am too overwhelmed to be much of a blessing to anyone. In a sense, I'm in over my head. Barely staying afloat. I want to help others, encourage them, minister to them, but it seems so hard right now. The pastor's wife's words were a reminder that one doesn't have to do anything elaborate to be a blessing. I don't have to make a cake, send a card, etc. I can smile warmly, greet someone with a hug, ask someone about their day, compliment them. If I do so sincerely, with the desire to express love and caring, the simple words or gesture will mean a lot, just as the pastor's wife's gesture meant so much to me.
I was also reminded how much weight negative words carry. I shouldn't have written this last week that Timothy Geithner was greedy, because he didn't pay his taxes. I defamed his character, which I had no right to do. So I am sorry for the stench of those words, as well as the ones about politicians in general. Words can have a pleasing aroma, or a stench. Lord, may I stick with the pleasing ones. Help me.
As soon as the study ended, I went back into the room to retrieve my diaper bag, study book and carseat. The pastor's wife, who taught tonight, came over and thanked me for trying. I just can't tell you how blessed I feel by our Pastor and his wife. They are both just the nicest people - so gracious, kind and warm. God's love and peace just radiate from them. I so want to learn from them, and I want an opportunity to bless them in return.
Out in the hall I had just about decided to quit the study (but not the homework) until Anna's "colic" ended, but after the Pastor's wife came over and said thank you for trying, I felt encouraged and uplifted, and I knew at once that I would try again next week. Her words were perfect, her face gentle, her body language warm and sincere.
I have been reflecting lately that I am too overwhelmed to be much of a blessing to anyone. In a sense, I'm in over my head. Barely staying afloat. I want to help others, encourage them, minister to them, but it seems so hard right now. The pastor's wife's words were a reminder that one doesn't have to do anything elaborate to be a blessing. I don't have to make a cake, send a card, etc. I can smile warmly, greet someone with a hug, ask someone about their day, compliment them. If I do so sincerely, with the desire to express love and caring, the simple words or gesture will mean a lot, just as the pastor's wife's gesture meant so much to me.
I was also reminded how much weight negative words carry. I shouldn't have written this last week that Timothy Geithner was greedy, because he didn't pay his taxes. I defamed his character, which I had no right to do. So I am sorry for the stench of those words, as well as the ones about politicians in general. Words can have a pleasing aroma, or a stench. Lord, may I stick with the pleasing ones. Help me.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Girlfriends Are Important!
http://www.christianitytoday.com/tcw/2009/janfeb/3.36.html
The above article talks about the importance girlfriends play in a woman's life. Enjoy! And thank you for your cyber friendship. It means so much to me.
I really don't know why this wouldn't work as a link. I tried several times. It is worth reading; you can copy and paste it into your browser. If that doesn't work, you can find it on the Christianity Today link on my sidebar. It is featured on their first page today (Sunday). (Too Busy for Girlfriends?) Meanwhile, I'll try to find a blogging tutorial to help me with these simple things. Things that every other blogger can do in her sleep!
Pam
The above article talks about the importance girlfriends play in a woman's life. Enjoy! And thank you for your cyber friendship. It means so much to me.
I really don't know why this wouldn't work as a link. I tried several times. It is worth reading; you can copy and paste it into your browser. If that doesn't work, you can find it on the Christianity Today link on my sidebar. It is featured on their first page today (Sunday). (Too Busy for Girlfriends?) Meanwhile, I'll try to find a blogging tutorial to help me with these simple things. Things that every other blogger can do in her sleep!
Pam
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Counting Some Blessings
The church children's director called yesterday to tell us about a few new Sunday night offerings. Too many families were unable to go to Bible Studies because of scheduling conflicts during the week. So the church, in a brilliant move, will now offer a Men's and a Women's Bible Study on Sundays at 5:30 pm. In addition, a homeschoolers art teacher has offered to teach the children some art lessons while their parents attend Bible Study. Childcare is offered for younger children as well, but we will try to either have my dad and his wife babysit our girls, or we will take turns attending the Studies. We definitely don't need to add another opportunity for Emily to bring home cold viruses to Anna and the rest of us. Poor Anna is being driven nuts by her stuffy nose. Breaks my heart!
Anyway, I am just so happy and feel so blessed. I have been praying for Christian friends or connections, and this Ladies Bible Study is an answer. It will boost my devotional time as well. Homework is included, with built-in accountability! And we certainly did need a homeschooling art boost. As a teacher, I am very strong in the Language Arts, but weak in the arts. What a wonderful blessing for the boys! Thank you, Lord!
Anyway, I am just so happy and feel so blessed. I have been praying for Christian friends or connections, and this Ladies Bible Study is an answer. It will boost my devotional time as well. Homework is included, with built-in accountability! And we certainly did need a homeschooling art boost. As a teacher, I am very strong in the Language Arts, but weak in the arts. What a wonderful blessing for the boys! Thank you, Lord!
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Yeah for Moms!
Never say or write that one of your children is "relatively easy". LOL When will I learn that lesson? Today, Timothy (aka the easy one) had quite the irrational fit. He used to love these Leap Frog Phonics videos we have. He learned his letters early from their letter video and then went on to learn a lot about phonics from their word video. But for some reason, after several viewings of the word video, he suddenly became frightened of the word machine (it combines phonics chunks and spits out words, if I recall correctly). Now he goes berserk if we try to put the letter one on for Emily Rose. She is very active and an auditory learner like Daniel, and while she doesn't have any interest in watching a video, she will listen to it as she goes about her play. Daniel picked up his sounds from listening to that video and from doing the Melissa and Doug wooden-alphabet puzzles.
I should put in a plug about the Melissa and Doug wooden puzzles and other learning products. I love them! They probably have lead paint though, unfortunately. We bought them before the series of lead-tainted toys came out of China. They are all made of wood and are painted, which makes me suspicious now. We can't afford them nowadays, so I don't know if their style may have changed or not. We have quite a few from earlier times, and I watch Emily closely whenever they are out. We always found an abundance of their products at Toys R Us.
Anyway, today, I decided that the Leapfrog videos are such valuable tools, that I just had to help Timothy through this fear, for Emily and her sister's sake. He obviously didn't remember that the letter video doesn't include anything with the word machine. I literally had to hold him on my lap and soothe him while we watched it. He was shaking through some of it. The whole thing is just bizarre. Kids, for that matter, are bizarre. He did enjoy it, though. Go figure! But when Daniel, wanting to instigate something, tried to rewind it and put it on again, Timmy had another fit on a smaller scale. All I can do is keep working on it. I can match their stubbornness, most of the time. LOL
The whole family just left for AWANA. Phew! It is so quiet right now. What really struck me today is that as moms, we really don't know our true value to the family until we have to lie on the couch and watch someone else try to "run the show". I'll try to explain what I mean. It's Wednesday and Kids Choir starts at 6 pm and AWANA at 6:30. It's roughly an eight minute drive to the church. But it takes some time to get everyone fed, cleaned up, and backpacks packed and troops loaded. Add to that the bulky coats that come with the 27 degree weather we're experiencing, and you've got to allow at least twenty minutes to just get into the van. Well, at 5:21 p.m. Don was putting potatoes in the microwave to go with the shake and bake chicken he put in the oven. When I glanced at the clock, I knew I had to get off the couch (I was entertaining Emily with the play dishes), and try to get something in the kids' stomachs before we had to get busy cleaning and checking faces, checking shirts for food stains, and getting the AWANA gear packed. Plus, I had to encourage Don into the shower, because he was volunteering tonight. I knew that since it was already 5:21, he would be lucky to have even a minute to get any dinner himself. But I didn't mention that. The man loves his food! LOL He did manage to eat some chicken and a banana before rushing off.
Other things happened today that made me realize how much I've learned, from prayer and trial and error, about managing time and kids. For example, when Daniel comes in from the outdoors, or from errands, etc., I know it is best to let him have about 15 minutes of downtime before starting a school lesson or asking him to do a chore. He has trouble with transitions. Sometimes I set a kitchen timer to let him know how long it will be until the next school lesson. It helps him enormously. On a daily basis, although Don is here Monday through Friday until 2 p.m., he doesn't notice a lot of the things I do to manage personalities and time. As he's taken over this week there has been more turmoil than we usually experience. Today it all seemed to culminate, and now I really understand better what function I play in the family.
When many started questioning whether Sarah Palin could manage the Presidency, I wasn't one of them. As a mother of five, she didn't have to prove anything to me. Women learn to become outstanding CEO's without ever having to step into a board room or an oval office. And what's more, as the children go into different developmental stages, the whole learning process starts anew, making Mom even better at her job.
So if you're a mom, give yourself a pat on the back today. More than likely, no one notices the good you do. There may never be any credit given by one's family. And that has to be okay with us, for the most part. But we can try to give credit to each other, mom to mom.
I really appreciate all the support you've given me. Thank you!
And I wanted to let Terri know that last week I did slap Emily's hand (trying it out for the first time). You know what she did? Looked at me with shock and slapped my hand right back. I was flabbergasted! :) I knew then that I might be in trouble with that girl. She's sweet 80% of the time, but that might be changing. Girls, I was told, can be a handful, due to the fact that their emotions run higher. I'm new on the learning curve with that. I'll probably have to try a lot of things before she is out of the twos and threes. Since she is so active, I know being held in my lap will really get to her. It might be the deterrent I need for now.
And Arwen, thank you for the tip on the 123 Magic procedure. I remember having trouble with Daniel early on regarding bedroom time-outs. He used to make a mess of his room, and he sometimes came out before the timer rang. I can't remember how those things got resolved, so I definitely need tips on time-outs. Emily has gotten out of her crib twice now, but she doesn't seem to have a burning desire to do it daily. It's time to babyproof her room, and within a few months she should be old enough to do a quick time out in there by herself (or at least it seems like it). We'll see. She might try to use the dresser to climb out the window, for all I know. LOL
I should put in a plug about the Melissa and Doug wooden puzzles and other learning products. I love them! They probably have lead paint though, unfortunately. We bought them before the series of lead-tainted toys came out of China. They are all made of wood and are painted, which makes me suspicious now. We can't afford them nowadays, so I don't know if their style may have changed or not. We have quite a few from earlier times, and I watch Emily closely whenever they are out. We always found an abundance of their products at Toys R Us.
Anyway, today, I decided that the Leapfrog videos are such valuable tools, that I just had to help Timothy through this fear, for Emily and her sister's sake. He obviously didn't remember that the letter video doesn't include anything with the word machine. I literally had to hold him on my lap and soothe him while we watched it. He was shaking through some of it. The whole thing is just bizarre. Kids, for that matter, are bizarre. He did enjoy it, though. Go figure! But when Daniel, wanting to instigate something, tried to rewind it and put it on again, Timmy had another fit on a smaller scale. All I can do is keep working on it. I can match their stubbornness, most of the time. LOL
The whole family just left for AWANA. Phew! It is so quiet right now. What really struck me today is that as moms, we really don't know our true value to the family until we have to lie on the couch and watch someone else try to "run the show". I'll try to explain what I mean. It's Wednesday and Kids Choir starts at 6 pm and AWANA at 6:30. It's roughly an eight minute drive to the church. But it takes some time to get everyone fed, cleaned up, and backpacks packed and troops loaded. Add to that the bulky coats that come with the 27 degree weather we're experiencing, and you've got to allow at least twenty minutes to just get into the van. Well, at 5:21 p.m. Don was putting potatoes in the microwave to go with the shake and bake chicken he put in the oven. When I glanced at the clock, I knew I had to get off the couch (I was entertaining Emily with the play dishes), and try to get something in the kids' stomachs before we had to get busy cleaning and checking faces, checking shirts for food stains, and getting the AWANA gear packed. Plus, I had to encourage Don into the shower, because he was volunteering tonight. I knew that since it was already 5:21, he would be lucky to have even a minute to get any dinner himself. But I didn't mention that. The man loves his food! LOL He did manage to eat some chicken and a banana before rushing off.
Other things happened today that made me realize how much I've learned, from prayer and trial and error, about managing time and kids. For example, when Daniel comes in from the outdoors, or from errands, etc., I know it is best to let him have about 15 minutes of downtime before starting a school lesson or asking him to do a chore. He has trouble with transitions. Sometimes I set a kitchen timer to let him know how long it will be until the next school lesson. It helps him enormously. On a daily basis, although Don is here Monday through Friday until 2 p.m., he doesn't notice a lot of the things I do to manage personalities and time. As he's taken over this week there has been more turmoil than we usually experience. Today it all seemed to culminate, and now I really understand better what function I play in the family.
When many started questioning whether Sarah Palin could manage the Presidency, I wasn't one of them. As a mother of five, she didn't have to prove anything to me. Women learn to become outstanding CEO's without ever having to step into a board room or an oval office. And what's more, as the children go into different developmental stages, the whole learning process starts anew, making Mom even better at her job.
So if you're a mom, give yourself a pat on the back today. More than likely, no one notices the good you do. There may never be any credit given by one's family. And that has to be okay with us, for the most part. But we can try to give credit to each other, mom to mom.
I really appreciate all the support you've given me. Thank you!
And I wanted to let Terri know that last week I did slap Emily's hand (trying it out for the first time). You know what she did? Looked at me with shock and slapped my hand right back. I was flabbergasted! :) I knew then that I might be in trouble with that girl. She's sweet 80% of the time, but that might be changing. Girls, I was told, can be a handful, due to the fact that their emotions run higher. I'm new on the learning curve with that. I'll probably have to try a lot of things before she is out of the twos and threes. Since she is so active, I know being held in my lap will really get to her. It might be the deterrent I need for now.
And Arwen, thank you for the tip on the 123 Magic procedure. I remember having trouble with Daniel early on regarding bedroom time-outs. He used to make a mess of his room, and he sometimes came out before the timer rang. I can't remember how those things got resolved, so I definitely need tips on time-outs. Emily has gotten out of her crib twice now, but she doesn't seem to have a burning desire to do it daily. It's time to babyproof her room, and within a few months she should be old enough to do a quick time out in there by herself (or at least it seems like it). We'll see. She might try to use the dresser to climb out the window, for all I know. LOL
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