Monday, February 2, 2009

Words and Gestures

Tonight, for the second time, I tried to attend the Ladies Bible Study, which occurs on Sunday evenings, along with an art class for the boys, nursery for Emily, and a Men's Bible Study for Don. Once again Anna Grace didn't cooperate, and I paced the church halls instead of fellowshipping and receiving spiritual food. I did my Bible Study homework though, which was valuable. I have to confess that during my pacing, I thought to myself, why bother? I can rock her at home more comfortably, and save myself some grief. Two teenagers care for the babies and toddlers, including Emily, but I don't feel comfortable asking them to care for a fussy baby.

As soon as the study ended, I went back into the room to retrieve my diaper bag, study book and carseat. The pastor's wife, who taught tonight, came over and thanked me for trying. I just can't tell you how blessed I feel by our Pastor and his wife. They are both just the nicest people - so gracious, kind and warm. God's love and peace just radiate from them. I so want to learn from them, and I want an opportunity to bless them in return.

Out in the hall I had just about decided to quit the study (but not the homework) until Anna's "colic" ended, but after the Pastor's wife came over and said thank you for trying, I felt encouraged and uplifted, and I knew at once that I would try again next week. Her words were perfect, her face gentle, her body language warm and sincere.

I have been reflecting lately that I am too overwhelmed to be much of a blessing to anyone. In a sense, I'm in over my head. Barely staying afloat. I want to help others, encourage them, minister to them, but it seems so hard right now. The pastor's wife's words were a reminder that one doesn't have to do anything elaborate to be a blessing. I don't have to make a cake, send a card, etc. I can smile warmly, greet someone with a hug, ask someone about their day, compliment them. If I do so sincerely, with the desire to express love and caring, the simple words or gesture will mean a lot, just as the pastor's wife's gesture meant so much to me.

I was also reminded how much weight negative words carry. I shouldn't have written this last week that Timothy Geithner was greedy, because he didn't pay his taxes. I defamed his character, which I had no right to do. So I am sorry for the stench of those words, as well as the ones about politicians in general. Words can have a pleasing aroma, or a stench. Lord, may I stick with the pleasing ones. Help me.


Rebekah said...

I am uplifted and encouraged by reading this. Especially by reading that one doesn't have to do anything elaborate to be a blessing. That is so true! Thank you for your honesty and for sharing this.

Jess said...

i will pray that anna will let you get some fellowship. it is amazing how a little time with the ladies goes a long way during the week. praise God you were able to do the homework and get some spiritual food there! and praise God He has you in just the right church - with a body of believers who sees you being a mom and doing the daily grind and appreciates that you tried. :) God is good and all time.