Monday, March 30, 2009

Start Your Own Blog!

A few months ago I met Jess and her friend Margie, who are also Google Bloggers. Not in person, mind you, but through this blog. They were readers, and because Jess left a comment and I was able to click on her blog and get to know her, they have become my friends. I can't tell you how much it means to me to have them as friends.

As some of you might have experienced, once you are married and have young children, it becomes very hard to meet new friends, especially if you moved out of state after marrying. Even if you meet someone with whom you have something in common, it is hard to get together, due to nap schedules and such.

The Internet makes female friendship, at least in this phase of life, more accessible. You can sit and write an e-mail or a blog post when YOU have the time, and your friend can read your mail or your post and respond when THEY have the time. With young kids around, who really wants to visit over the phone? It isn't always practical or feasible; I find that I can't fully concentrate on what a caller is saying these days.

So, thank you very much to Jess for commenting that day! And Liz, I can't tell you how many times I've wished you had your own blog, enabling me to pop over and get to know you. Please DO start one. Write about anything and everything. It is so therapeutic. I write for practice, to blow off steam, to track my children's growth (electronic baby book of sorts), and to sort out my thoughts. I'll keep your e-mail address, in case you don't start your own blog.

When I happen upon a blog that already has hundreds of readers, I rarely leave a comment, unless it's to express condolences. It's unlikely I will ever have any connection to that person, so it doesn't usually seem worth it to comment. I feel like what I have to say, even if it's just a compliment, is just one of many, and therefore less valuable to the writer. This blog only has a handful of regular readers, so it seems more intimate to me.

Another thing about blogging - I could be way off with this, but I suspect it might be helpful for adult children to be able to read the history found in their mom or dad's parenting journal. Each decision we make as parents is complicated, and none are made in a vacuum. Grown children would be better able to extend grace toward their parents, armed with a realistic view of the complexities of raising children. I found that I didn't fully understand or appreciate my own mother until I started raising my own ADHD child. She married my step-father when I was five, and shortly after, had my half brother, who has ADD. Many of the things I didn't like about my childhood stemmed from the overall stress level my parents experienced as a result of the ADD. I didn't ever perceive them as happy, and remembered a lot of anger and turmoil, which turned me off. If she had kept a journal and allowed me, as an adult, to read it, I could have extended grace sooner and enjoyed a much better relationship with her. Our relationship hasn't been the greatest for a number of reasons, including my born-again faith (which she disdains), and because things are always complicated when there is a divorce in the mix; she divorced my real father when I was three.

But I digress terribly here. I meant for this to be about the benefits of blogging. If you are out there and you don't ever comment, please do. And start your own blog, so we can be friends. It's so easy - even I was able to do it! And I'm sadly lacking in technical skill.

If you don't care for writing, you can use the blog mainly for pictures, and to meet cyber buddies who will provide you with emotional support. I truly think your children would appreciate it someday as well.

Give me a heads up if you've taken the plunge and started your own blog. I'll add it to this blog's sidebar, and I'll bet you'll begin to make friends. Blogger is very easy to use; it walks you through the whole start up with easy prompts.


Margie said...

Thanks for the shout out Pam. You are so sweet and it has been an honor to get to know you. I so enjoy reading your thoughts as many times they are similar to my own. It is a comfort to know that there are others who struggle with similar issues. Praying for you my friend.

Jess said...

it has been a pleasure getting to know you too, miss pam :) i am thankful for the 'social' aspect of blogging and meeting other moms. it is a definite blessing! as are you. keep at it girl.

Liz said...

Thanks for the encouragement Pam!

Stephanie Suire said...

I have also been blogging about my daughter to keep friends and family updated but to also connect with other mothers. I am expecting another baby in 8 weeks so I will need my mommy blogging connection those first few months. We moms do need to know that other moms struggle with some of the same issues. Praying for you and your family...