Wednesday, March 11, 2009

The Main Thing

Despite the dire financial situation in which we find ourselves, I bought the $20 large-print NIV Bible last night, during my Super Walmart grocery run. Great decision. I had an easy time reading in the book of James, while Anna slept on my shoulder.

James 1:2-4 tells us:
"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

When I opened my new Bible I decided to read what Don was reading, which was the Book of James. I knew he must have picked it on purpose, to help him through this time. Sure enough, the second verse was just what I needed.

The trouble is, I am weary of facing trials of many kinds. I actually needed a break from trials, rather than an escalation. I was a little bit perturbed at my precious God, due to the job loss. I've never felt anger at God before. Even 8.5 years ago, when I lost my first baby at twenty weeks gestation, I wasn't mad at God.

As I mentioned before, Don lost his mother when he was 16, in a tragic traffic accident. He lost his maternal aunt and maternal grandmother a couple years later, also in a traffic accident. Then, he had to wait 17 years for a wife. My husband knows hardship. He can't seem to get out of its shadow.

I realize more than ever before that my twelve years as a Christian is really nothing. I am not "mature and complete" by a long shot. Don has been a Christian for 43 years. He is strong as an ox, emotionally and spiritually. He really gets it that God isn't in the business of granting our wishes, like some fairy. Time and time again he endured and kept his eyes UP, learning that God has soul winning on his mind. It's the main thing. It's not important whether we have our beloved mother, or our beloved grandmother, or our precious baby, or our house or our credit. Those things don't matter to God.

When we lost our first baby, we learned of another women from our church who lost two full-term babies from back to back pregnancies, from cord accidents, just before her due dates. Last Sunday, we learned that a woman from our current church just lost her infant son.

God allows hardship. We can't pray it away. We can only pray through, and keep our eyes up, remembering that soul winning is God's main thing. Anger or weariness may come to us, as a result of multiple hardships, but God is faithful to renew our joy each time. Our reward is in heaven, not here on earth.

1 comment:

Evenspor said...

I am glad you found some faith again. I was watching a movie last night, and one quote stuck out to me in particular. I can't remember it exactly, but it was along the lines of, When our trials are at their roughest, it is easy to forget that God is our friend and everything will be for our good.

James is a wonderful book. Some of my favorite verses are 1:5-6. :)