Friday, September 18, 2009

grace for tired mommas

I never intended this blog to be about my lack of sleep.  But since my Ever-So-Sweet Anna hasn't mastered the art yet, I guess it's still the topic of the day.

The girl is like an alarm clock.  Yes indeedy.  She knows when the clock will read 10:30 p.m., 12:35 a.m.,  2:35 a.m., 4:35 a.m., and finally, 6:35 a.m.--which lately has been the point at which breastmilk no longer does the trick.  She's up for the day...or at least for a couple of hours.

Did I mention I go to bed between 12:30 a.m. and 2:00 a.m.?

Let's just say Momma hasn't been exactly......hmm, well....spewing words of adoring praise toward her charges lately.  I'm sounding more like a drippy faucet, oft times spewing nagging corrections.  I'm ashamed to admit it.

So when the following conversation occurred a few days ago, I was blown the grace of God.

The Scene--driving to AWANA and talking about our recent hike:

Momma:  "Do you remember the last time we were on that trail?  Momma was hugely pregnant and hot, carrying Anna Grace in the womb still.  Now today I carried her in my arms!  What a blessing that is!"

Daniel:  "Daddy doesn't think babies are a blessing.  That's for sure!" (laughing)  "Do you think we'll have more?"

Momma:  (Wondering how one tells a seven-year-old about vasectomies....a procedure I still don't agree had to happen.)  "Well, I don't know for sure, but I think God might consider me to be too old.  And Daddy too."

Daniel:  "But if we did have more, wouldn't you be happy?  Aren't babies always a blessing?" (I've said that many times...he's regurgitating.)

Momma:  "Oh, yes. I would be happy.  And Daddy loves his children very much, Daniel.  He just has a hard time with the crying and the waking.  You feel loved by Daddy, don't you?"

Daniel:  (laughing) "Well.....most of the time."

Momma:  Insanely curious as to what he would say, I tried this:  "Do you feel loved by me?"

Daniel:  (laughing) "Oh, yeah!  Every single minute and second I do!"

Okay, you Mommas.  Remember this.  We aren't perfect.  God still has chiseling to do on us.  But our deeply-felt love for our children?   He makes sure that comes through.  Loudly.  Grace abounds for tired, stressed-out Mommas.


And I know.  Don't say it.  I need to go to bed earlier.