Sunday, April 26, 2009

Dishing it back at me

It was hot again today. Nobody was really in the mood for pictures, but I wanted some with our tulips. Most of this planter box is covered with them.
Grandpa got them matching shirts.
She's a wiggle worm, that Emily Rose. This was the best look of her face, believe it or not. From the looks of my shirt, I forgot to hook my nursing bra again. Hate when that happens.
It's soooo hot, Mommy! Are we done yet?
Hunting for eggs with Auntie Lorrie after church on Easter Sunday. My husband won't do Santa Claus, or Halloween, but for some reason, he allows Easter hunts (but no mentioning of that bunny guy allowed, except to explain that he's part of a story). I think it's because he loves the outdoors, and he loves chocolate. LOL

Borrowing Mommy's mirror to put on lipstick (which is actually chapstick). Yes, while on the potty.
Easter afternoon, which ended up being sunny and about 50 degrees.

I dished out some harsh stuff to the Lord in this morning's post. And he dished out good stuff right back at me. God can take our anger, our pain, our blame, and love us all the while. When we're done, he gives us wisdom. We lack so many things in our humanity, and wisdom is a huge one. Not all our conversations with him have to be civil, I'm finding. He wants communion with us, despite our mood.

Love is a verb, God tells me. It was always meant to be so. Children will have unlovable ways, but we are still called to EXERCISE love. We must dig down as deep as it takes, even in the most frustrating of circumstances. Do love. We must do love.

God reminded me today, while I tried, to no avail, to nap with the baby, that Daniel truly doesn't want to be so hateful, so defiant, so oppositional. He feels quite often, the way I feel only when I'm sleep deprived - like I could cry easily, short-tempered, very easily frustrated. When the remorse over his outbursts sets in, he gets even more frustrated, because he has no idea how to change.

He struggles mightily to calm down, after the most minor disappointments. God showed me that instead of being reactionary, I should work with Daniel to help him calm down - such as rocking with him in the rocking chair, singing to him while I stroke his hair or his cheek. These don't sound like things we would normally do with seven year olds, but I have to remember that his neurological handicap doesn't allow him to self-soothe the way a 7 year old should. Some will say it's babying him and not solving anything. But trying to discipline him out of a fit only escalates and prolongs the agony for the whole family.

If I show him how to soothe, he can hopefully learn to utilize calming techniques in my absence. The key is for us to not take the outbursts personally, so that we remain outside observers, rather than participants.

God reminded me of a lot today. Good stuff. Now maybe tonight he'll allow me to sleep.

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