Monday, November 24, 2008

Still Pregnant and Stir Crazy

I went to the doctor bright and early this morning. Anna Grace again got 10 out of 10 on the biophysical profile. The nonstress test wasn't very reactive, which the doctor attributes to my morning blood pressure dose. The beta blocker can keep her heart rate from rising as it normally would with each movement. I normally have it several hours before my appointment, but today it was taken only an hour before arriving at his office. He didn't seem worried, but is having me go to labor and delivery for another nonstress test on Wednesday morning (the day he is on call there). I won't have another office visit until Monday.

If the blood pressure numbers stay as they are, he plans on allowing the pregnancy to go to 39 weeks. I was happy that he thinks things are going well, of course. But I also had an urge to shake him mercilessly and plead with him to take me out of my misery ASAP. LOL I settled for a polite "thank you" and "have a good day".

All these appointments, plus Don being home so much has really thrown off our routine. Daniel had three meltdowns before noon, and Mommy had one following his third. Daniel was in timeout more than out of it, and we didn't get much schooling done, beyond the reading segment. Daddy will do social studies and science this afternoon, but I plan on making up the rest of my portion on Friday (supposedly vacation, but Daniel doesn't know where his vacation days fall). I've reached saturation with stress for today.

Don will go back to work the Monday after Thanksgiving, regardless of how long the doctor keeps me on bedrest. I am relieved, although I love him dearly and appreciate his support. Things are just calmer when we stick to routine. Don has some minor ADD symptoms which only really surface when his own routine is thrown off. Taking care of the kids and managing the house is very fast-paced, detail-oriented work. I am so used to the pace that it doesn't phase me much. It is more difficult for him, and he finds himself leaving sharp knives on the dining room table and walking away, or putting Emily on the potty and forgetting he put her there, only to find she's gotten up and peed on the floor somewhere. Little things like that make it harder for me to stay down. I get up to help, and then he gets frustrated that he needed the help.

I am not a person who likes directing or managing adults in any way, even when they've been assigned to help me. My dad sent his young wife to help after Emily was born. She isn't a self-starter and we would get to 2 pm before the kids got any lunch. I was trying to figure out the early breastfeeding and it just added stress to have to direct her in every little thing. I remember trying to do most things myself after a couple of days.

Today Don got angry at me and said that I need to try harder to work together. He says I am a one-person show, and that I relish working alone. Isn't it scary how well our spouses know us? I really have always preferred working alone, or along side someone who didn't need direction. Teaching suited me in that respect. I can direct children in my sleep, usually with comfort, grace and ease. Plus, teachers get to work alone in their classrooms most of the time, getting together with other teachers primarily just for special events and lunch breaks.

And anyway, who wants to ask their husband to vacuum, or say that the floor needs to be swept soon? He simply doesn't notice these things. Requesting that he do them seems so pushy to me. I can't relate to pushy people and I don't want to be one or sound like one. I go ahead and do these things, although much less often than usual, rather than ask him. After all, I don't want anyone alerting the child health department about our housekeeping. LOL It sounds funny, but we moms know that you can't get so far behind that it becomes impossible to catch up. You can lower your standards, surely, but you can't do away with them entirely.

Strangely enough, these occasional chores don't cause my blood pressure to increase. In fact, I was without help during Don's weekend shifts, and my blood pressure improved while I went about and got things done. I think it was the reduction in stress. I don't really believe in this bed rest, but I'm doing it anyway with as much discipline as I can muster. And Don thinks we're better off playing it safe, even if we're all driving one another nuts.


Liz said...

Oh Pam... I can so relate to this post! When I had my surgery a few weeks ago my husband took over. Like your hubby, he does it all pretty well, but it can be stressful (on a woman) seeing a floor that needs to be vacuumed or clutter that seems to be multiplying by the moment. I honestly think God allows these times in our lives to humble us and to focus on what is really important. Though some may not understand it, the bedrest is very challenging. Hang in there... you are getting closer to your goal every day!

Evenspor said...

Maybe Anna Grace will have her own ideas and come out before the doctor wants her to.

What is it about husbands not seeing floors? And you really can't be always giving them detailed instruction, because then you feel like a nag. You have to love them for trying, though.

Sometimes it is less stressful to just take care of things yourself.