Friday, April 17, 2009

But for the Grace of God

I occasionally get insomnia. It runs in my anxiety-prone family, especially affecting the women. Last night it seemed that short of cancer or another death-sentence diagnosis, things around here just couldn't get any worse. I was awake contemplating quitting my affiliation with the Republican Party, and questioning why my baby couldn't sleep without being attached to the breast.

Anna is becoming more and more like Timothy was, in terms of sleep. I gave him what he needed, and he's turned out extremely bright (for whatever reason), so I have a deep dread of putting Anna or our family through a cry-it-out regimen. On the other hand, if I let her nurse every hour or so for two years, how will that affect the other children, indirectly? Emily may have gone through a period like this at four months, but it didn't last. She ended up a very good sleeper; I'm trying to be positive about this phase. With the alarm going off at 2:15 a.m. for Don, I feel like I have to try even harder to get Anna back to sleep fast. Which means, roll over and give her the breast pronto! The binky rarely works to quiet her during the night. I'm certain she's not hungry; she's more than doubled her birth rate in her first four months.

Timothy, also an occasional insomniac, was similarly affected last night, although I hope it wasn't over something so deep as his political affiliation. I finally gave him Benedryl at 4:30 a.m., to no avail. He will have a rough day, I fear. Daniel appeared to have a cold yesterday and coughed frequently last night, so perhaps Timothy is just on the verge of becoming ill. Anna is sneezing today.

When light broke through this morning, I was so grateful for it! Everything seems rosier in the morning, no matter how awful the night was. Light is renewing, refreshing, truthful.

Recently I figured out how to add a Google tracker to my site (a huge technology leap) and discovered that 110 visitors come to this blog. 14% come randomly from keyword searches and appear to bounce out right away. Since that's more people than I ever imagined, I guess I should give a heads up on political or public-policy posts, since some find them so boring. Bounce out now if you hate politics.

I will be writing an e-mail to a few Fox News commentators, including Bill O'Reilly. My feeling is that the reason so many people hate Fox News is that they don't display enough sympathy toward the disadvantaged. Right now especially, many people are finding themselves on public assistance for the first time. We will, in another month, need Medicaid insurance for our kids. I feel awful about it, and am fearful of the looks I will get from medical staff, clerical staff, etc. Will I get a compassionate look from Democrats, and a haughty look from Republicans? Do I have to pray for a Democrat receptionist? I have a lot of anxiety about this, and I feel some Americans need to have God drop them in the middle of Africa so they can see how much of the world lives.

The arrogant Washington D.C. protester I mentioned yesterday said she didn't want to help anyone pay their bills. What about food? That is a bill, and I gather it makes up the bulk of entitlement spending, with Medicaid being second. Should single moms and their children, who undoubtedly make up the bulk of welfare rolls, go without enough food and without regular checkups? Not giving them a good start (I believe there is a five-year limit) means that someday they might end up collecting entitlements as adults.

I don't feel ENTITLED to free health care. I don't look at it as a right, but since it is available, I feel I must do what is best for my children. We've gone to God about this, and before signing the paperwork we will also seek counsel from our Pastor. It appears from our view that obtaining coverage for the children is a must. The Pastor might be able to direct us to Scripture that points to a different answer.

In this recession, we aren't the only people having to make decisions like this, and to hear people say such cold-hearted things makes me want to be an Independent, rather than a Republican. Nasty Republicans give the Christian Right a bad name. People tend to lump Republicans and Christians together, for better or worse, and I want to separate myself from that element of the Party.

I don't agree with people being bailed out of their mortgages. Apartments are usually plentiful, and although it is terribly sad, moving to an apartment isn't the end of the world. Not having enough money for immunizations, medications, and check ups is another story, as is not having enough food.

I feel top wage earners already pay too high a proportion of the tax burden, which has lead to wide-scale cheating. They shouldn't be asked to pay even more of the burden, so that most of the country can enjoy lower taxes. The Fair Tax, and term limits for Congress, seem to be the best solution to many of the country's woes. I'll do an informative post on the Fair Tax soon.

My letter to the commentators will only point out that many people watching are having to collect entitlements for the first time, and while watching Fox News, they are made to feel like petty criminals. The impression given is that if only people would be more "responsible", they wouldn't find themselves needing an entitlement. They need to try harder to distinguish people like the Octomom, from people who find themselves in circumstances beyond their control. Sadly, I feel she may have allowed so many embryos to be implanted because she knows multiples born early often have disabilities (three of her older children do), and that she can collect disability checks for each one. I may be in error in suggesting this, but by all accounts, she appears to be a greedy opportunist. Emotional problems may be at the root of it, but that doesn't excuse her behavior, or her doctor's. She is trying to copyright her "Octomom" nickname, so she can take advantage of other lucrative offers. The whole thing just doesn't set well with me, although I'm glad she will probably earn enough money to take care of her brood. That still doesn't guarantee that her eight babies are going to have enough loving arms to go around - ensuring proper development. Studies show that babies need at least three hours of holding a day.

Undoubtedly, she and her children need our prayers, more than our criticism. I'll stick with prayer from here on out.

This post doesn't solve any problems, but it sure makes me feel better to get these things off my chest. Maybe tonight I'll sleep better.

It's an old cliche, but the statement, "There, but for the grace of God go I", is one we can all use right now. Perspective. We all need it. And we need it often.

1 comment:

Liz said...

Pam, I'm sorry it's so hard right now.