Sunday, March 29, 2009

Motherly and Wifely Musings

That Emily Rose will now repeat anything we ask her to say, and she uses new words all day, including her first few two-word phrases. Speech class doesn't even start until next week! I'm so pleased and relieved, that today I raised my hands to the heavens and said, "Praise the Lord!" She did the same thing, only it came out ever so much sweeter, coming from my eternally-joyful Rose Bud.

In other news, Daniel woke up this morning and cleaned the playroom almost entirely by himself, without complaint or any prompting. He left a small pile of miscellaneous stuff for Timothy to put away. Then, after Timothy woke up, Daniel proceeded to clean their room, again leaving Timothy a small pile of junk to process. Did I think my ranting and raving last night would make such an impression? Not quite. But I was prepared to back my words and unplug the TV, if they attempted to turn it on before cleaning these two rooms. There was much less TV viewing, presumably because they didn't want to KEEP cleaning these two rooms. Mom=2 boys=0

During dinner tonight, I had Anna Grace in my lap, while dining next to Timothy. Anna kept smiling up at Timothy, in an attempt to engage him. I told him she wanted his attention, and he was thrilled and flattered! LOL Again during storytime she was in my arms, smiling up at Timothy. He finally noticed and began giving her attention. She was so happy! It's certainly hard sometimes, this raising of a life-filled, exuberant clan. But when you see glimpses of the friendship they enjoy, and the loyalty between them, you realize what a grand thing you're doing.

I feel ashamed somehow, of this vasectomy. It wasn't my decision, although I agreed it didn't appear that God was sending any help, or the financial means, to raise more children. The whole thing, though, makes it seem like we are telling God that in this area, we know best. Our wisdom trumps his. We are both old, and often feel sadness when we think about how old we will be when our kids start raising kids. Still, this doesn't seem right. Even if it is displeasing to God, my part was to step aside and not attempt to fight Don's decision. I think this will help peace come to me, eventually.

I have wondered if Don losing his job was a way to drive home the notion that WE are not in charge. Just like God doesn't want us picking and choosing which parts of the Bible we agree with, he also doesn't want us picking and choosing the areas in which we will trust him. According to the Bible, we can test him on the ten percent tithe, but there is no reference to any other testing. I think this testing of the tithe principal means that one can give 5% or some other figure, and wait to see how God blesses, before giving the whole ten percent. Throughout our ten-year marriage, we've learned that we can't afford to NOT tithe, whatever our circumstances. Now, I've come to believe that we can't afford to NOT TRUST, whatever our circumstances.

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