Stir Crazy Thoughts

So it's 3:30 pm and I've been lying down all day, except to change a couple of diapers and reboot two loads of laundry. Literally, I'm going out of my mind. I'm active by nature.

Recently I've come into contact with two large homeschooling families. One I met in the dentist's office just last week. She is a mom of six and with all her pregnancies except one, she suffered gestational diabetes. I've been considering that maybe I should stop having kids because it seems to be so problematic for me, compared to many women (as compared to the Duggar family, for instance, who are going on their eighteenth child, I believe). I've never heard of Mrs. Duggar having any trouble. Maybe that is why they keep getting a green light from the Lord? Plus, they are a fairly wealthy family. Not to mention that Mr. Duggar is not as old as Don is. I believe both the Duggars are about 41.

The other large family I've just recently had e-mail contact with. The mom is one of the homeschooling moms in my homeschool group. I e-mailed the group asking about early intervention services for speech problems, since several of the families have kids in speech. I am certain Emily has oral-motor difficulties. Anyway, I happened to mention to one of the moms who responded to the e-mail that I had to take blood pressure medicine at the end of Emily's pregnancy and I was hoping it didn't contribute to a speech impediment, since I was just put on something similar for this pregnancy. She wrote back trying to reassure me about the medicine. She said she is going on her eighth child and hasn't ever taken any medications except for thyroid medicine. She didn't mention how long she was on it or if she had to take it during pregnancies. Yet despite being mostly medicine free, she has two children with serious speech problems and all the rest have one thing or another. She thinks it is just how God works and I should take the medicine without any concern. The lesson I think is that large families have their share of problems, and they aren't necessarily a reason to say enough is enough, in terms of procreating.

My thoughts aren't any clearer about whether or not to end my fertility, but I should keep in mind that God provides grace for all these various difficulties. Right now this seems overwhelming, but once the baby is with us and nursing well, it will all be more than worth it. That leaves me, probably, with just the concern that we are not a wealthy family and that may be a red light. We are still praying about another organization signing up to use Don's school gym, starting in February. We really need that overtime. Nothing has materialized in that area yet, so that is definitely a red light for now. God has always provided and I know it's silly to think he won't this time.

I heard this week in the doctor's office that women who are prone to preeclampsia or pregnancy-induced hypertension usually do not have the same problems if they change partners. So, it is apparently the man's chemistry that either causes or contributes to the problem. I'm definitely not changing partners, but maybe this warrants Don getting the surgery, instead of me? LOL Wonder if he would see it that way?

This is such a tough decision.