Tuesday, July 15, 2008

A Do Over Day

Some days just need to be do overs, you know? Ever feel that way? I actually said to my son, after day three of nearly constant whining, badgering, and small fits of temper:

Mommy, to Daniel: "You know, I love you always. But right now, I'm having a hard time liking you."

Daniel looked defeated. I felt awful even before I'd finished uttering the words. I know better, people. I dealt professionally with children and was never at a loss for appropriate words, despite the situation. I thought I had a trained tongue.

I stink at this mommy thing. People ask me if I'm worried about having a Down Syndrome baby. No, I'm not. What I'm worried about is having another ADHD child.

I need to regroup before morning. Do I brave the possible mosquitoes and take a twilight prayer walk, or get into those chocolate chips, supposedly purchased for baking?

Maybe both.


Evenspor said...

It's a good thing these kids bounce back so much more easily than we adults do, isn't it? Being a perfect parent is tough enough without having to deal with exceptions.


Fern said...

I hate days like that. We all have them. And I don't think you stink at the mom thing. It's just SO VERY hard, and on top of that you add a challenging child and a pregnancy, and you have a recipe for mom burnout.

I hope today is going so much better for all of you.

Liz said...

Hang in there girl... we ALL have days like that. Kids remember patterns of love, fun, and close family times. They do not remember the few times when you might view yourself as a less than stellar Mommmy. In fact, they don't have your intellect to think it all through (or should I say overthink). Your child "has" ADHD, but it's not who he "is". Sometimes, as a parent, it's hard to see our ADHD kids for how special they really are. Lately, it's like God has been giving me glimpses of who Grace (my daughter) really is, apart from her ADHD. Remember, every mom has days they are sure they stink at the mom thing -- what's most important is that you don't believe that in your heart. Our heavenly father chose YOU to be Daniel's mother. Isn't that cool? God has used my precious daughter to show me my heart. He waits patiently for me to ask for help, not only in parenting, but in molding my heart to be more like His. Because of Daniel, you can be more patient and understanding of other parents who might be facing the challenges. You know that your child's behavior is not always a direct reflection of the effort you put in to parenting. Hang in there... better days are coming.


Steph said...

Aw, don't feel bad. We all have days like that. We can't always say the right thing. I work in communications and I often find it easier to manage what other people say than what comes out of my own mouth! You're a good mom!