One Day at a Time

Six weeks pregnant today. That morning sickness thing, which has nothing to do with mornings, officially started today. Around 10:00 AM I felt great and went to Super Wal-Mart for groceries and sandbox sand, and by the time I returned, I was too sick to unload the van. Could signal a healthy pregnancy. Definitely means the next four to five weeks could get interesting, with my crazy-busy toddler running me around nearly non-stop. In the past it has just been persistent nausea, without vomiting. Eating something every hour, but no regular meals, helps me maintain some level of activity. The key seems to be taking in just enough food, at just the right intervals.

In terms of being a more visible figure - the way pregnant women naturally are - being pregnant at 42 is, I imagine, going to be about as exciting as being pregnant at 16. (No, I wasn't pregnant at 16 - try 34, for the first time). People will give me a what-were-you-thinking look, upon hearing my announcement. They won't know what to say. But you know what? I don't care. Much. I used to worry a lot about what people thought, but now I don't have time to care.

My energy level, always high, hasn't wavered since reaching my forties. I have no reason to think I won't be able to do a good job loving and rearing another child. Skin starts to go south at 40, but energy can stay high for many years.

It's probably hard for 20 and 30 year-olds to fathom, but, as the years pass, you just don't FEEL any different. You sometimes have to remind yourself that you're old, in fact. It happens so fast, that there really isn't any mental processing of it, especially for busy parents. I remember thinking, at 37, that I would NEVER want to be pregnant at 40, much less 42, but when you reach that particular age, you realize how silly it is to think of a certain age as a stopping point, or turning point, for anything. You just live your life, one day at a time, and let the calendar do its thing.

Besides, I definitely didn't have a choice in this late-marriage, late-childbearing thing. God put it all together. He doesn't make mistakes. Knowing that, believing that, makes it so much easier to live one day at a time.