Friday, January 25, 2008

Groundhog Hope

Winter Blues

Winter is getting long. Temperatures have been in the twenties, so romping outside isn't very appealing, even to my nature-loving Daniel. Each of us, in our own unique way, is struggling to find creative, indoor things to do. We're on each other's nerves and just generally looking forward to the old groundhog deciding that spring has sprung.

Timmy's computer use is largely indoor boredom, I'm convinced. He's responding well to limits imposed on it, but he's edgy and wrestling more with Daniel, and making up wild, loud games that threaten Emily's safety and my sanity. Most of the parenting blogs I read are about two-girl families or one-boy-one-girl families. I love them all, but can't relate to some of the posts because my guys exude energy not detected in their family posts. If anybody reading knows of a good boy-power blog, send the link my way! Thanks.

I'm fighting mild depression, which at first I attributed to post-partum cycles returning, but now am thinking is season-related. Not enough Vitamin D through sunshine, maybe? This is my third winter in Ohio, but my first experience with this sadness. I've also reached the two-and-a-half year mark as an at-home mom. Boredom and tedium seem like my thrice weekly companions, which makes me sad. There was once such a spring in my step about being home. I still love that I'm here, and have an inner peace and gratefulness, but there's a surface tension I can't always shake off. Kind of like the seven-year marriage itch, maybe? I'll have to dig deep down, pray, and send it on its way.

Daniel, for his part, is seeking constant attention, which may be a reaction to my sadness, edginess, irritation, perhaps? He is so quick to pick up on parental stress. It seems one just has no privacy of thought or space when he's around lately. It is an ADHD symptom, which has my mind going in that direction again, unfortunately. I should allow him his quirks without jumping to conclusions. Someday, his wife will be pleasantly surprised at his ability to sense when something is amiss. He's not going to be your stereotypical, emotionally-remote husband. Daddy isn't like that either; he's very available.

I'm longing to get Emily outdoors. She was a newborn last winter, and a crawler in the fall, so this spring will be a glorious experience for her. She's been out in the cold some, but she falls on our uneven, frozen yard, and ends up too cold. Can't really afford to buy her a snowsuit, especially since it would be too small next year. Maybe I'll hit some thrift stores this weekend. I need some proper winter gear as well, actually.

Writing Analysis

As a teacher, I can read my own writing and see that it lacks a poetry-like quality. I know, from reading Catherine Newman's blog for more than six years, that writing skill evolves a lot over time. Over at, she incorporates a lot of dialogue, and experiments with jumping from past to present-tense scenes. When she first began these trends, I remember thinking her writing had gotten confusing. Gradually, though, she perfected her use of dialogue and scene-jumping, and now, once again, her writing is smooth and satisfying to read. Perfecting any craft takes patience, diligence, and passion. And in my case, I'll certainly throw a lot of prayer in the mix too.

I am not computer savvy; hence, there are no photos or other interesting visuals on my blog. We don't actually have a digital camera, but we'll hopefully find a retired one at a garage sale this spring. Ohio is big on garage sales, we've found.

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