I'm pretty convinced that my waves of depression--which have lessened--are merely the result of Anna's erratic nighttime nursing patterns, rather than post-partum depression or perimenopause. How soon a woman's menstrual cycle will resume depends, in part, on the nighttime nursing pattern. If there are nursings between midnight and 5:00 a.m., the cycle is delayed longer. Anna often nurses a few times during these hours, but one or two times she has skipped these feedings. That confused my body, which probably started a hormone shift to bring on my cycle. Now she's sleeping horribly, and nursing very frequently, so my hormones have shifted again--delaying my cycle longer, which is fine with me. Of all my children, her nighttime nursing is the most erratic. I'm still watching the moods closely, but as I said, I'm pretty convinced there's no real problem.
One of the Christian homeschooling moms I met at the park suffered post-partum depression with all five of her children. She now has a 3-month-old baby and this time she started taking the meds a week before she went into labor. I'm happy to report that she is doing well.
With the first two pregnancies she had trouble really being heard and taken seriously by her doctor. He told her that she would be fine and that it was important to continue breastfeeding her baby, and that going on depression medication would prevent her from doing that. Tragically, she became suicidal and went to another doctor after having her second child. He told her (rightly so) that the breastfeeding was not important in her case, as her depression absolutely needed to be treated. He allowed her to let go of her guilt and get the care she desperately needed.
It angered me to hear that her first doctor dismissed her symptoms and put guilt on her about the breastfeeding. And now that this horrific post-partum psychosis case is in the news, I find myself angry and frustrated that this poor women was not better cared for. She tried to let the people around her know that she was in trouble, but no one took her seriously enough. A week before the killing she left her boyfriend to live with her sister and parents--telling him that she was schizophrenic, which was consistent with her mental history. She was not taking her medication, which I suspect was due to her being a nursing mother.
Hours before the killing she told her sister that she was hearing voices. She was hysterical and kept giving her sister the baby. When the mother calmed down, the sister gave her back the 10-week-old baby, and then apparently went to bed. I hate to say it, but that sounds selfish to me--or completely ignorant. The sister didn't want to stay up all night with a new infant perhaps? She wanted her troublesome sister to deal with her own problems? I don't know and certainly shouldn't judge, but I feel this very ill mother tried to ask for help. The killing occurred early in the morning and resulted from her being alone with the baby. Exhaustion surely made her symptoms worse, with the middle-of-the-night exhaustion probably being especially draining.
I feel horrible for the baby and the mother, for the woman's family, and for all the law enforcement and medical staff who had contact with this woman in the weeks before this killing. They probably all wish they had done more--known more. All were apparently ignorant either of this woman's mental history, OR of the fact that mentally-ill women have a 50% higher chance of developing post-partum psychosis, which involves feelings of wanting to harm one's baby.
The boyfriend says this woman should get the death penalty for killing his son. He says she seemed like a loving mother--holding and breastfeeding and doing nice things for the baby. According to him the mother was treated for post-partum depression in a hospital setting a few weeks before, but she seemed fine to him. I feel angry at him for vilifying this mother, who so obviously was not fine at all--in the same way that Andrea Yates was not fine.
My husband and I argued about this case, as we did the Andrea Yates case. He doesn't understand why I feel these women are not guilty by reason of insanity. Understandably, he thinks such horrific crimes should be punished. Being a woman and knowing how powerful hormones are, I think I can see this differently--in a way I don't think a man could ever understand. For my part I think society needs to be better educated about the risks of mentally-ill women having children. If they choose to start families they should never be alone with their babies the first year or two--especially if even mild depression has set in. Additionally, someone needs to ensure that they take their medication, even if that means no breastfeeding.
I noticed that my pediatrician asked how I was feeling in the days after Anna's birth. I read that this is something new that pediatricians are trained to do. Doctors need to do more than ask though--the questions need to be specific about the woman's mental history, and the signs and symptoms of post-partum depression and psychosis need to be reviewed.
What is your take on this issue? Do you think these women should be held criminally accountable?
Showing posts with label pregnancy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pregnancy. Show all posts
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Monday, July 13, 2009
Flashes Are On
I wanted to think these perimenopausal symptoms were more likely just signs that I'm sleep deprived, due to Anna's teething and frequent night nursing. However, last night confirmation came--I had my first hot flash.
Actually, it wasn't my first, come to think of it. When I was in my teens and twenties I had very painful periods and asked an OBGYN if it could be endometriosis--something my sister had. He thought it likely and did a laparoscopy to look for and clean out any lesions. He found mild to moderate endometriosis, removed it, and afterwards prescribed a drug that simulates menopause, so that the endometriosis would stop growing and my fertility could be preserved until marriage. I took the pills for three months and then gave up on them, due to the hot flashes. I had so many I had to bring a fan into my first grade classroom and stand in front of it in the middle of lessons. That didn't work for me (LOL), so the OBGYN gave me birth control pills and had me keep taking them all month to avoid having a period. It is the monthly bleeding that causes more endometriosis to grow and attach to the female organs--eventually causing infertility. The birth control pills worsened my migraines, so I quit taking them after a year. I got married a few years later and conceived our first son on our first anniversary (whom I miscarried at 21 weeks).
The endometriosis was kept at bay during the rest of my thirties by frequent pregnancies and prolonged nursing. I've had few periods during the last nine years.
Anyhow--after that long digression--I'm reflecting today on how hard it is to grow old in a youth-obsessed culture. I am committed to growing old gracefully, but some things I WILL fight hard against. My hair will be dyed when it becomes necessary, and I'll give up chocolate and exercise like a fiend before submitting to weight gain. Otherwise, I'll go with the flow. But clearly, I see that managing it all gracefully may be the second greatest challenge of my life.
The GREATEST challenge--you've probably guessed--has been and is still, raising an ADHD child.
Holly - thank you for the hormone-cream tip! I will look into it.
Actually, it wasn't my first, come to think of it. When I was in my teens and twenties I had very painful periods and asked an OBGYN if it could be endometriosis--something my sister had. He thought it likely and did a laparoscopy to look for and clean out any lesions. He found mild to moderate endometriosis, removed it, and afterwards prescribed a drug that simulates menopause, so that the endometriosis would stop growing and my fertility could be preserved until marriage. I took the pills for three months and then gave up on them, due to the hot flashes. I had so many I had to bring a fan into my first grade classroom and stand in front of it in the middle of lessons. That didn't work for me (LOL), so the OBGYN gave me birth control pills and had me keep taking them all month to avoid having a period. It is the monthly bleeding that causes more endometriosis to grow and attach to the female organs--eventually causing infertility. The birth control pills worsened my migraines, so I quit taking them after a year. I got married a few years later and conceived our first son on our first anniversary (whom I miscarried at 21 weeks).
The endometriosis was kept at bay during the rest of my thirties by frequent pregnancies and prolonged nursing. I've had few periods during the last nine years.
Anyhow--after that long digression--I'm reflecting today on how hard it is to grow old in a youth-obsessed culture. I am committed to growing old gracefully, but some things I WILL fight hard against. My hair will be dyed when it becomes necessary, and I'll give up chocolate and exercise like a fiend before submitting to weight gain. Otherwise, I'll go with the flow. But clearly, I see that managing it all gracefully may be the second greatest challenge of my life.
The GREATEST challenge--you've probably guessed--has been and is still, raising an ADHD child.
Holly - thank you for the hormone-cream tip! I will look into it.
Saturday, July 11, 2009
How do YOU lean?
Some of the blogs I read are like slices of life. They illustrate blessings regularly, but they also give glimpses of messiness, of upheaval, and of suffering. To live is to experience both. Some people don't care to air difficulties on their blogs. They are more reserved. Well I admire reserved people for their self-discipline, I can look back and see that I've never had a satisfying relationship with a single reserved person. They don't allow one to get too close. And without closeness, there is only superficial relating. They may welcome confessions from others, but THEY never want to confess. Eventually I stop trying to have closeness with them, and stick with only superficial topics myself, which is okay...as long as we have both types of people in our lives.
If you've been reading long, you know I believe in talking about both blessing and suffering. Put more simply--I'm a whiner. It just feels better to get it out there. Perhaps because I am less able to put it in perspective, when I hold it in?
Something new has come into my life....moodiness. Before I was a basically happy person, even in the midst of trial. Now, no matter what I might do, I can't control the effects of hormones. They are chemicals, created by God. Last night I read a comment from Liz, which suggested that maybe I'm feeling the effects of mild post-partum depression, mixed with perimenopause.
Being the problem solver I am, I looked up perimenopause. WebMD had the following to say about perimenopause:
How Long Does Perimenopause Last?
The average length of perimenopause is four years, but for some women this stage may last only a few months or continue for 10 years. Perimenopause ends the first year after menopause (when a woman has gone 12 months without having her period).
What Are the Signs of Perimenopause?
You will know you are transitioning into menopause when you begin experiencing some or all of the following symptoms:
* Hot flashes
* Breast tenderness
* Worsening of premenstrual syndrome
* Decreased libido (sex drive)
* Fatigue
* Irregular periods
* Vaginal dryness; discomfort during sex
* Urine leakage when coughing or sneezing
* Urinary urgency (a pressing need to urinate more frequently)
* Mood swings
* Difficulty sleeping
After reading all that, I thought to myself--WHAT! Just shoot me if this is what life will entail for the next fifteen to twenty years--until I'm done with both peri and full menopause! God certainly punished us women for Eve's sin. This all sounds like part of the "pain in childbearing" curse, if you ask me. That curse goes far beyond labor pains, in my humble opinion. Premenstrual syndrome (I rarely got that), hormone headaches, painful periods, miscarriage, infertility, hormonally-induced insomnia, perimenopause, and finally, menopause. They can all be tied up neatly as part of the female-hormone sin curse.
Why do some women get all of them, and others none? Why do some women get them only briefly, while others get them chronically? Only our Creator knows. Should we be one of the sufferers, what is the answer?
The Michael Jackson tragedy drove something home for me. As a chronic headache sufferer, I've taken Excedrin nearly everyday for the past twelve years. Usually only two a day are needed, so my liver is probably fine; I am extremely careful about mixing medicines. But what about the days I've had to take more, even while still following the dosing on the package? Will my liver give out one day?
When one deals with chronic pain, taking something becomes a knee-jerk reaction. Then when another type of pain or suffering comes along, we are more likely to reach for a pill for that as well, simply because reaching for a pill has become second nature. I feel that is what happened to Michael Jackson, as well as the countless others who have become addicted to prescription medicines.
While I navigate the waters of perimenopause, or simply the hormonal blues, I have to watch my tendency to reach for something. Life will throw even more things at me--that is sure. God often doesn't take away physical suffering. I can't pray this away; I've tried that with the headaches. He has answered in the sense that I don't need strong drugs to deal with my migraines, like some people do. The Excedrin works within 30 minutes about 80% of the time. But he hasn't healed the headaches, or the ADHD, or the chronic, face-changing eczema Emily has. She will grow out of it around five or six, most likely, but in the meantime it is hard to deal with. Daniel may grow out of some of the ADHD, but in the meantime it is a huge, life-altering problem for all of us. And I will likely grow out of hormonally-induced moodiness, but in the meantime it is a problem for all of us.
The answer then, is not healing. It is leaning. On Him. Year by year, month by month, week by week, day by day, moment by moment.
I'm learning that each person doesn't lean on God in the same way. For some, reading the Bible is the best leaning. For others, praying is the best leaning. Recently I've come to realize that for me, listening to praise and worship music is the best leaning. I ALWAYS feel better after worshipping through song. I SOMETIMES feel better after praying or reading Scripture. Certainly, I need to do all of them to experience all that God has for me. But when I need to reach for a perimenopause "pill" , it will be praise and worship music.
And yes, I'll check into Primrose, too, Liz! Thank you! An acquaintance from church, who also gave birth in her forties, said last night that her OB told her the moods were a combination of post-partum effects and perimenopausal effects. You are right! Count it all joy! Hopefully my hubby doesn't shoot me before it's done. A high percentage of marriages go sour during this time--or so I read. Maybe that's why I recently ran into that marriage blog? You know, the one that posts the "positions of the week"? LOL
If you've been reading long, you know I believe in talking about both blessing and suffering. Put more simply--I'm a whiner. It just feels better to get it out there. Perhaps because I am less able to put it in perspective, when I hold it in?
Something new has come into my life....moodiness. Before I was a basically happy person, even in the midst of trial. Now, no matter what I might do, I can't control the effects of hormones. They are chemicals, created by God. Last night I read a comment from Liz, which suggested that maybe I'm feeling the effects of mild post-partum depression, mixed with perimenopause.
Being the problem solver I am, I looked up perimenopause. WebMD had the following to say about perimenopause:
How Long Does Perimenopause Last?
The average length of perimenopause is four years, but for some women this stage may last only a few months or continue for 10 years. Perimenopause ends the first year after menopause (when a woman has gone 12 months without having her period).
What Are the Signs of Perimenopause?
You will know you are transitioning into menopause when you begin experiencing some or all of the following symptoms:
* Hot flashes
* Breast tenderness
* Worsening of premenstrual syndrome
* Decreased libido (sex drive)
* Fatigue
* Irregular periods
* Vaginal dryness; discomfort during sex
* Urine leakage when coughing or sneezing
* Urinary urgency (a pressing need to urinate more frequently)
* Mood swings
* Difficulty sleeping
After reading all that, I thought to myself--WHAT! Just shoot me if this is what life will entail for the next fifteen to twenty years--until I'm done with both peri and full menopause! God certainly punished us women for Eve's sin. This all sounds like part of the "pain in childbearing" curse, if you ask me. That curse goes far beyond labor pains, in my humble opinion. Premenstrual syndrome (I rarely got that), hormone headaches, painful periods, miscarriage, infertility, hormonally-induced insomnia, perimenopause, and finally, menopause. They can all be tied up neatly as part of the female-hormone sin curse.
Why do some women get all of them, and others none? Why do some women get them only briefly, while others get them chronically? Only our Creator knows. Should we be one of the sufferers, what is the answer?
The Michael Jackson tragedy drove something home for me. As a chronic headache sufferer, I've taken Excedrin nearly everyday for the past twelve years. Usually only two a day are needed, so my liver is probably fine; I am extremely careful about mixing medicines. But what about the days I've had to take more, even while still following the dosing on the package? Will my liver give out one day?
When one deals with chronic pain, taking something becomes a knee-jerk reaction. Then when another type of pain or suffering comes along, we are more likely to reach for a pill for that as well, simply because reaching for a pill has become second nature. I feel that is what happened to Michael Jackson, as well as the countless others who have become addicted to prescription medicines.
While I navigate the waters of perimenopause, or simply the hormonal blues, I have to watch my tendency to reach for something. Life will throw even more things at me--that is sure. God often doesn't take away physical suffering. I can't pray this away; I've tried that with the headaches. He has answered in the sense that I don't need strong drugs to deal with my migraines, like some people do. The Excedrin works within 30 minutes about 80% of the time. But he hasn't healed the headaches, or the ADHD, or the chronic, face-changing eczema Emily has. She will grow out of it around five or six, most likely, but in the meantime it is hard to deal with. Daniel may grow out of some of the ADHD, but in the meantime it is a huge, life-altering problem for all of us. And I will likely grow out of hormonally-induced moodiness, but in the meantime it is a problem for all of us.
The answer then, is not healing. It is leaning. On Him. Year by year, month by month, week by week, day by day, moment by moment.
I'm learning that each person doesn't lean on God in the same way. For some, reading the Bible is the best leaning. For others, praying is the best leaning. Recently I've come to realize that for me, listening to praise and worship music is the best leaning. I ALWAYS feel better after worshipping through song. I SOMETIMES feel better after praying or reading Scripture. Certainly, I need to do all of them to experience all that God has for me. But when I need to reach for a perimenopause "pill" , it will be praise and worship music.
And yes, I'll check into Primrose, too, Liz! Thank you! An acquaintance from church, who also gave birth in her forties, said last night that her OB told her the moods were a combination of post-partum effects and perimenopausal effects. You are right! Count it all joy! Hopefully my hubby doesn't shoot me before it's done. A high percentage of marriages go sour during this time--or so I read. Maybe that's why I recently ran into that marriage blog? You know, the one that posts the "positions of the week"? LOL
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Down Days
I've been sort of compromised emotionally for the past four days. My varicose veins are also starting to hurt at times, the way they did during the pregnancy. This would be earlier than usual for my cycle to start up again, since Anna is still nursing through the night and every few hours during the day. But I know every pregnancy can be different.
I actually looked up Post-Partum Depression just out of curiosity. It can start any time during the first year after birth, and can manifest as anxiety, irritability, or depression. Interesting. I'll be keeping a sharp eye on these down days.
I actually looked up Post-Partum Depression just out of curiosity. It can start any time during the first year after birth, and can manifest as anxiety, irritability, or depression. Interesting. I'll be keeping a sharp eye on these down days.
Friday, June 19, 2009
Inexplicable
The ache for a child, or the loss of a child, is so deeply painful for us women. I feel so badly for all the women who click on blog after blog--seeing pictures of dearly loved children--only to turn away from their computers, to a house that is either quiet, or contains the noise of just one or two children. Many want only one or two, so for them perhaps there is relief when they read posts about larger-family chaos. But for those whose hearts yearn for the noise and the chaos, the pain is so, so deep, and it can be so constant.
We conceived our first child within three months and then lost him at 21 weeks. It took five months to get pregnant again, which were the longest five months of my life. I don't pretend to know what it is like to ache for a child for years and years, but in those five months, my ache was constant. I learned to surrender, and when I gave up making a project out of getting pregnant, we conceived Daniel.
That five months was the extent of my experience, thus far, in dealing with the womanly ache for a child. It was short, but deeply felt, and still remembered. Last week, my husband was contacted by his urologist's office, and was given a report of "negative", in regards to his post-vasectomy sperm sample. He almost had a smile on his face when he told me. And me? I was absolutely crushed in spirit. I walked away from him, and just wanted to run outside and shout with all my might, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Right now, I have my Anna to cuddle and kiss and delight in, but when she toddles away from me, I know there will be pain when I click on blogs and read about the new pregnancies of other women. I can't explain it to you. I don't understand why this passage is so hard for me to accept. In many ways I am being a spoiled brat. After all, I have four children to enjoy (and another two to meet in heaven). I have no right to feel this way--but I do. I can't deny it. Do I wish I had a different husband--one who delights in children more? No. I understand too well the folly of "greener grass" thinking, when it comes to marriage.
God could have exhausted my ache for children, thereby putting me in sync with my husband's thinking. But he has not. So down the line, I think I will offer my loving arms to a working mom's baby, if God agrees. My husband will probably be working days at some point in the next five years, so he will not be burdened by the presence of another baby. I babysat for two babies and a toddler when we moved to Ohio, although not all at once. The last child I watched came to us in 2007, when Emily was five months old. His name was Anthony, and he was thirteen months when we met him, and 19 months when his parents moved out of our area and we had to say goodbye. I loved him dearly, and took great pleasure in rocking him to sleep and watching him grow.
As I deal with the inexplicable longing that is to come, I will think of him, and hope for another baby to love. And in the meantime, I will keep reminding myself that I have been abundantly blessed already, and I have no "right" to these feelings. I am ashamed of them, and yet I can't deny them, or understand them.
There is much to wonder about as we move along in our Christian walk. Everyone has a different story with different twists, but there is still the wondering--the longing for something--the waiting for something. I can only conclude that it is part of God's plan, so that we have an urgent need for Him to fill us up again and again. He wants us to find companionship and fulfillment in him, rather than in the things of this world.
And there is that fulfillment--that deeply satisfying companionship. We have only to go after it, everyday, purposefully.
Just an aside: I came across a blogger who has met Michelle Duggar. Here is a post about their meeting.
We conceived our first child within three months and then lost him at 21 weeks. It took five months to get pregnant again, which were the longest five months of my life. I don't pretend to know what it is like to ache for a child for years and years, but in those five months, my ache was constant. I learned to surrender, and when I gave up making a project out of getting pregnant, we conceived Daniel.
That five months was the extent of my experience, thus far, in dealing with the womanly ache for a child. It was short, but deeply felt, and still remembered. Last week, my husband was contacted by his urologist's office, and was given a report of "negative", in regards to his post-vasectomy sperm sample. He almost had a smile on his face when he told me. And me? I was absolutely crushed in spirit. I walked away from him, and just wanted to run outside and shout with all my might, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Right now, I have my Anna to cuddle and kiss and delight in, but when she toddles away from me, I know there will be pain when I click on blogs and read about the new pregnancies of other women. I can't explain it to you. I don't understand why this passage is so hard for me to accept. In many ways I am being a spoiled brat. After all, I have four children to enjoy (and another two to meet in heaven). I have no right to feel this way--but I do. I can't deny it. Do I wish I had a different husband--one who delights in children more? No. I understand too well the folly of "greener grass" thinking, when it comes to marriage.
God could have exhausted my ache for children, thereby putting me in sync with my husband's thinking. But he has not. So down the line, I think I will offer my loving arms to a working mom's baby, if God agrees. My husband will probably be working days at some point in the next five years, so he will not be burdened by the presence of another baby. I babysat for two babies and a toddler when we moved to Ohio, although not all at once. The last child I watched came to us in 2007, when Emily was five months old. His name was Anthony, and he was thirteen months when we met him, and 19 months when his parents moved out of our area and we had to say goodbye. I loved him dearly, and took great pleasure in rocking him to sleep and watching him grow.
As I deal with the inexplicable longing that is to come, I will think of him, and hope for another baby to love. And in the meantime, I will keep reminding myself that I have been abundantly blessed already, and I have no "right" to these feelings. I am ashamed of them, and yet I can't deny them, or understand them.
There is much to wonder about as we move along in our Christian walk. Everyone has a different story with different twists, but there is still the wondering--the longing for something--the waiting for something. I can only conclude that it is part of God's plan, so that we have an urgent need for Him to fill us up again and again. He wants us to find companionship and fulfillment in him, rather than in the things of this world.
And there is that fulfillment--that deeply satisfying companionship. We have only to go after it, everyday, purposefully.
Just an aside: I came across a blogger who has met Michelle Duggar. Here is a post about their meeting.
Monday, May 18, 2009
More Post-Pregnancy Tips
More Post-Pregnancy Tips:
Liz left a great tip on the last post. She puts whole chickens in the crockpot and they're tender and juicy by the end of the day. Beats using the oven for 80 minutes on a hot day.
I also forgot to list dried apricots. Buy them from the produce section rather than the raisin section. The price is better; you get more.
Nursing takes more out of your body than pregnancy does. You need to choose your foods wisely to keep up. I take the prenatal vitamins, but you never know how they are absorbing. Go for color when choosing fruits and veggies. Don't forget the whole grains!
If you can't nurse or don't want to, let it go. Don't dwell on it. Doesn't do you any good to dwell on it. Don't let anyone make you feel guilty. You know what is best for your situation. If you do want to nurse, have lactation numbers handy. Even contact someone beforehand and at least talk on the phone before labor.
Nursing rarely goes completely smoothly in the three days to a week after the milk comes in. Expect some difficulty at that time. It rarely is difficult after three weeks, or six weeks in some cases. Think of the six weeks it takes to perfect it as being far less than the life of your nursing relationship.
I find that nursing does take off pounds and cellulite. This is even more true for the middle-of-the-night nursing sessions (just my opinion, works to delay periods also, but don't count on that). Nursing burns about 500 calories a day.
I find my weight will stay the same for a few weeks if I don't eat enough. Not getting enough calories lowers our metabolism, making it harder to shed pounds. Losing muscle also lowers our metabolism, so take stroller walks as soon as Doc approves. Walk at a pace that makes it a little more difficult to talk, but not too difficult. Walking helps with blood circulation in your legs as well, helping problematic veins heal faster. Also works to help prevent blood clots.
If you are losing about a pound a week, that is a good, safe pace; you know you're eating the right amount. Water weight will stay on you if you don't drink enough. You need to drink a lot to replace lost fluid from nursing. Drink a water bottle at every nursing session (or drink to thirst). Don't watch the scale until after the first six weeks. Water weight will skew the numbers.
A good article found below on nutrition.
Wonder Foods: New Ideas From Some Experts
Liz left a great tip on the last post. She puts whole chickens in the crockpot and they're tender and juicy by the end of the day. Beats using the oven for 80 minutes on a hot day.
I also forgot to list dried apricots. Buy them from the produce section rather than the raisin section. The price is better; you get more.
Nursing takes more out of your body than pregnancy does. You need to choose your foods wisely to keep up. I take the prenatal vitamins, but you never know how they are absorbing. Go for color when choosing fruits and veggies. Don't forget the whole grains!
If you can't nurse or don't want to, let it go. Don't dwell on it. Doesn't do you any good to dwell on it. Don't let anyone make you feel guilty. You know what is best for your situation. If you do want to nurse, have lactation numbers handy. Even contact someone beforehand and at least talk on the phone before labor.
Nursing rarely goes completely smoothly in the three days to a week after the milk comes in. Expect some difficulty at that time. It rarely is difficult after three weeks, or six weeks in some cases. Think of the six weeks it takes to perfect it as being far less than the life of your nursing relationship.
I find that nursing does take off pounds and cellulite. This is even more true for the middle-of-the-night nursing sessions (just my opinion, works to delay periods also, but don't count on that). Nursing burns about 500 calories a day.
I find my weight will stay the same for a few weeks if I don't eat enough. Not getting enough calories lowers our metabolism, making it harder to shed pounds. Losing muscle also lowers our metabolism, so take stroller walks as soon as Doc approves. Walk at a pace that makes it a little more difficult to talk, but not too difficult. Walking helps with blood circulation in your legs as well, helping problematic veins heal faster. Also works to help prevent blood clots.
If you are losing about a pound a week, that is a good, safe pace; you know you're eating the right amount. Water weight will stay on you if you don't drink enough. You need to drink a lot to replace lost fluid from nursing. Drink a water bottle at every nursing session (or drink to thirst). Don't watch the scale until after the first six weeks. Water weight will skew the numbers.
A good article found below on nutrition.
Wonder Foods: New Ideas From Some Experts
--by Susan O. Henry
"The Latest Wonder Foods." "12 Wonder Foods." "14 Wonder Foods."
These are just some of the titles you may have seen lately in any magazine, newspaper or book store. The articles name specific foods which fit the superlative the title indicates. The list may very well have been accurate when the items were listed. But new research comes in weekly; facts change.
To get an update on the very latest nutritional adjudications, we asked six experts, all of them working researchers in food sciences and members of the Institute of Food Technologists Science Communications. Their answers were surprising -- but unanimous. When so many experts drawing from so many individual studies are so concerted in their conclusions, we have to pay attention.
There are no "wonder foods."
At least no standout wonderfoods. "No food should be identified as a 'miracle' food. That undermines good nutrition," said Pennsylvania State University's Dr. Ralph Kroger. "The 'secret' lies in a balanced, varied diet of many choices."
"I do not feel that there are any 'magic' foods," agrees Dr. Nancy Cohen of the University of Massachusetts Nutrition Education Program. "You need a variety of foods for good health, and relying on only a few, even those on a (select) list, will not ensure good health. I strongly believe that ALL foods can fit into a good diet." Yes, all foods, echoes Dr. Kroger. "Even soft drinks, alcoholic beverages, and steak and potatoes."
"I do not recommend special 'power foods' other than a balanced combination from the food pyramid," said Christine M. Bruhn, University of California Davis. "Foods from each section of the pyramid have special nutrients and make a contribution to the diet." Dr. Mark Kantor, University of Maryland, concurs, adding that the only reliable "lists" come from solid research, and current research underscores the importance of variety.
Having said that, some of our consultants did mention favorites. And though there is no one wonder, there is one food every one of our experts singled out. "Of all the foods on the market, broccoli is the most nutrient dense," Dr. Kroger said.
The tomato is the runner-up recommendation. Other foods our advisors noted as nutritionally-packed include whole grains, beans, and anything dark green or deep orange. "A good rule of thumb is that the more highly colored a food is, the more nutritious it is," said Dr. Mary Ellen Carmine of the University of Maine. "Rice and potatoes are good, but pigments are better." Interestingly, lowfat or skim milk is the only animal product on anyone's "packed with nutrients" list.
A very important reason nutritionists are increasingly reluctant to name individual wonder foods is that scientists are discovering new wonders all the time. Within the past few months, for example, researchers have confirmed:
- Phytochemicals uniquely present in grapes protect against heart attacks
- Vitamin E protects the immune system, particularly in the elderly, and may lower the risk of developing various dementias
- Lycopene in tomatoes may protect men against prostate cancer
- Potassium lowers blood pressure if one is hypertensive, and helps maintain normal BP if one is not
- Compounds in garlic help maintain bloodflow and thus lower the risk of stroke or thrombosis.
Nutritional elements often enhance one another when eaten in combination. Says Dr. Cohen, "There are many (compounds and combinations) that may be healthful, and scientists have not identified them all. That's why a wide variety of food is the way to go."
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Fast Food For New Moms
Are you having a baby or a surgery soon? I have a short list of food items you might want to stock your fridge/freezer with before the big event. We didn't have help with meals other than my dad bringing soup two or three times a month.
Frozen fruits and vegetables can potentially have more vitamins and minerals than fresh. They are typically frozen at peak freshness, which is when foods contain the most nutrients.
1. Bird's Eye Steamfresh Vegetables - Very tasty and inexpensive. Steam in microwave 5 minutes (don't poke any holes). Perfect every time. Wide variety available.
2. Bob Evans mashed sweet potatoes (microwave, stir, microwave some more). Found in the refrigerated case near the meats at Super Walmarts. Packed with nutrients! Or bake fresh sweet potatoes in microwave.
3. Frozsun Fruit Sensations - large bag frozen mixture of peaches, pineapple, honeydew, red seedless grapes. This is always very tasty. Put out a small bowl to thaw at room temperature. Don't thaw more than you'll use that day. It doesn't keep well in the fridge after thawing. I've seen people bring this to picnics partially thawed. It's refreshing on a hot day. (No sugar or glaze added, just fresh fruit)
4. Buy whole fresh chickens for about $.88/lb at Super Walmart. They are about $1.24/lb if you prefer them without hormones or saline solution. Easy to bake and lasts for two meals. You can make chicken burritos or tacos the next day.
5. Super Walmarts also have bags of dried cranberries (Walmart brand) for less than $2.00 (found near the raisins). Excellent source of nutrition. They have other varieties of dried fruit, but this one packs the most nutrients for the buck. There is added sugar.
6. Frozen Blueberries/strawberries/raspberries/blackberries - Walmart brand is a good deal. Packed with nutrients. No more worrying about them rotting in the fridge because you don't have time to prepare them.
7. Whole Wheat Tortillas - Use with leftover chicken and/or with grated cheese. We buy the 7% lean ground turkey for tacos and burritos as well. Always a quick meal. Packed with fiber and nutrients, especially if you add beans (black beans or refried). Kids who won't eat bread might go for whole wheat tortillas.
Frozen fruits and vegetables can potentially have more vitamins and minerals than fresh. They are typically frozen at peak freshness, which is when foods contain the most nutrients.
1. Bird's Eye Steamfresh Vegetables - Very tasty and inexpensive. Steam in microwave 5 minutes (don't poke any holes). Perfect every time. Wide variety available.
2. Bob Evans mashed sweet potatoes (microwave, stir, microwave some more). Found in the refrigerated case near the meats at Super Walmarts. Packed with nutrients! Or bake fresh sweet potatoes in microwave.
3. Frozsun Fruit Sensations - large bag frozen mixture of peaches, pineapple, honeydew, red seedless grapes. This is always very tasty. Put out a small bowl to thaw at room temperature. Don't thaw more than you'll use that day. It doesn't keep well in the fridge after thawing. I've seen people bring this to picnics partially thawed. It's refreshing on a hot day. (No sugar or glaze added, just fresh fruit)
4. Buy whole fresh chickens for about $.88/lb at Super Walmart. They are about $1.24/lb if you prefer them without hormones or saline solution. Easy to bake and lasts for two meals. You can make chicken burritos or tacos the next day.
5. Super Walmarts also have bags of dried cranberries (Walmart brand) for less than $2.00 (found near the raisins). Excellent source of nutrition. They have other varieties of dried fruit, but this one packs the most nutrients for the buck. There is added sugar.
6. Frozen Blueberries/strawberries/raspberries/blackberries - Walmart brand is a good deal. Packed with nutrients. No more worrying about them rotting in the fridge because you don't have time to prepare them.
7. Whole Wheat Tortillas - Use with leftover chicken and/or with grated cheese. We buy the 7% lean ground turkey for tacos and burritos as well. Always a quick meal. Packed with fiber and nutrients, especially if you add beans (black beans or refried). Kids who won't eat bread might go for whole wheat tortillas.
Monday, April 20, 2009
Aging
This aging thing stinks. Thanks Adam and Eve! It's all your fault. God never intended for us to watch ourselves shrivel up and then die.
My Netscape AOL news ticker just showed a pic of Brooke Shields, who happens to share my birth year - 1966. Her level of wrinkles is about like mine, minus the acne scars, which make one look even older.
I saw a glimpse of my arms this weekend, in florescent light. Horror. The skin is sun-damaged, as is that on my hands. Ladies in your twenties and thirties - use sunscreen on your arms, hands, face and neck! They see the most sun in your lifetime, and give away your age easily, if you let them. You will lament less when you reach your forties if you exercise caution now.
A little friendly advice, from shriveled up me.
In other sad news, I researched this not-so-flat, post-C-section stomach of mine. Things were pretty good abdominally after the other three children - no stretch marks, relative flatness. Now, I hate my stomach. Still no stretch marks - have varicose veins on my legs instead, which is the raw end of the deal, given that they're not easily hidden in the summer - but there's still that bit of bloatedness I told you about right above the incision scar. Turns out, it can be common for C-section tummies to never return to their previous glory.
Swell.
At least I can still pluck out my white hairs. I started that at 32, and so far they're not getting ahead of me.
Really, I'm trying to be positive about physical decline. After all, we all get our turn at youth. However, I can think of few things as horrible as watching the shriveling of one's outer body. The whole thing feels a little more glum when baby hasn't slept well in several days, and Mommy's overtired and cranky.
Sunscreen, Ladies. It's your best friend.
My Netscape AOL news ticker just showed a pic of Brooke Shields, who happens to share my birth year - 1966. Her level of wrinkles is about like mine, minus the acne scars, which make one look even older.
I saw a glimpse of my arms this weekend, in florescent light. Horror. The skin is sun-damaged, as is that on my hands. Ladies in your twenties and thirties - use sunscreen on your arms, hands, face and neck! They see the most sun in your lifetime, and give away your age easily, if you let them. You will lament less when you reach your forties if you exercise caution now.
A little friendly advice, from shriveled up me.
In other sad news, I researched this not-so-flat, post-C-section stomach of mine. Things were pretty good abdominally after the other three children - no stretch marks, relative flatness. Now, I hate my stomach. Still no stretch marks - have varicose veins on my legs instead, which is the raw end of the deal, given that they're not easily hidden in the summer - but there's still that bit of bloatedness I told you about right above the incision scar. Turns out, it can be common for C-section tummies to never return to their previous glory.
Swell.
At least I can still pluck out my white hairs. I started that at 32, and so far they're not getting ahead of me.
Really, I'm trying to be positive about physical decline. After all, we all get our turn at youth. However, I can think of few things as horrible as watching the shriveling of one's outer body. The whole thing feels a little more glum when baby hasn't slept well in several days, and Mommy's overtired and cranky.
Sunscreen, Ladies. It's your best friend.
Friday, February 20, 2009
Momma Jeans
Jeans. I love them. Not only facilitating mixing and matching, they can be dressed up or down, thereby stretching one's wardrobe considerably. Most of my readers are thirty-something, or so it seems. Maybe you don't remember jeans that went up to a woman's waist, or to the belly button? I do remember, and now they are my preferred style of jean. And guess what???? I FINALLY found a pair (never worn, and at a thrift store) that is wide enough at the leg for shoe boots or clogs, which are my favorite height-giving accessories for a 5'3" frame.
After each birth I get back to 110 pounds around the third or fourth month, mostly due to excessive busyness accompanied by exclusive nursing. Extended middle-of-the-night nursing seems to provide additional help in burning calories and banishing cellulite. But still lingering each time is loose skin around the middle. While muscle underneath can be strengthened, nothing can be done about the loose skin, as far as I know.
Which is how jeans fit into this post. With low-waist jeans, I now always have unattractive loose skin spilling over the band. Can I hear a YUCK? It drives. me. insane. As well, I have very few shirts or sweaters that are LONG enough to adequately cover me while wearing lower-waist jeans. Again, it drives. me. insane. And did I mention I'm only 5'3" tall? Low-waisted jeans seem hell bent on being just long enough to trip me, or at the very least, to soil my bottom edges. Hate that. Who wants to take a spill with baby in tow, or run around in dirty-looking jeans? It's not like I'm some free-wheeling teenager, with not a care in the world, save for my next algebra test.
Today, I am wearing my new, forgiving-waist jeans, and although they are a four and still too tight, I am loving them. In another month, they just might be the perfect fit. If you know of a store that sells high-waist jeans that AREN'T also straight-legged, I would sure appreciate a heads up. One pair is not enough, for laundry purposes.
After each birth I get back to 110 pounds around the third or fourth month, mostly due to excessive busyness accompanied by exclusive nursing. Extended middle-of-the-night nursing seems to provide additional help in burning calories and banishing cellulite. But still lingering each time is loose skin around the middle. While muscle underneath can be strengthened, nothing can be done about the loose skin, as far as I know.
Which is how jeans fit into this post. With low-waist jeans, I now always have unattractive loose skin spilling over the band. Can I hear a YUCK? It drives. me. insane. As well, I have very few shirts or sweaters that are LONG enough to adequately cover me while wearing lower-waist jeans. Again, it drives. me. insane. And did I mention I'm only 5'3" tall? Low-waisted jeans seem hell bent on being just long enough to trip me, or at the very least, to soil my bottom edges. Hate that. Who wants to take a spill with baby in tow, or run around in dirty-looking jeans? It's not like I'm some free-wheeling teenager, with not a care in the world, save for my next algebra test.
Today, I am wearing my new, forgiving-waist jeans, and although they are a four and still too tight, I am loving them. In another month, they just might be the perfect fit. If you know of a store that sells high-waist jeans that AREN'T also straight-legged, I would sure appreciate a heads up. One pair is not enough, for laundry purposes.
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Jitters
I can't tell you how badly I want to be taken out of my misery! It's shameful.
- Bending down to pick anything up is sooooo uncomfortable.
- I had a laparoscopy in my twenties to clean out endometriosis. One of the incisions was a tiny one in my belly button. Apparently, a band of scar tissue formed internally, which pulls and tugs and hurts when my belly gets this swollen.
- The medical stockings are no longer too warm, given our wintry weather, but I so want to burn them after this pregnancy. I hate them with a passion!
- I normally have a skinny face, neck and shoulders. Now, when I look in the mirror, I'm horrified at the plump-faced person staring back at me. The plumpness ages me more, as does lack of sleep, so I'm sure I'll be referred to as Anna Grace's grandmother before a month has passed.
- When I read to my children, I get out of breath because of the rearrangement of my organs. The stuffy nose plus the out-of-breath sensation makes me feel like primal screaming fairly regularly.
- I normally have varicose veins just in the shin area. Now, my right leg and foot are discolored, having been taken over by purple spider veins. My children are frightened when they see my legs now. I manage to get into the shower first thing most mornings, followed by the donning of my lovely stockings, which are very thick and tight, providing complete coverage of the ugliness. My children rarely see the horror this way. The spider veins, most of the swelling, and the purple coloring all go away, thank the Lord, and I'm left with just my shin veins post-partum. That's a good thing, since I married a leg man. You know you've married the right man when he still loves your legs, blemishes and all, after four kids. I'm a blessed woman.
Other tidbits:
When Emily Rose was born she needed oxygen, apparently because the cord was loosely wrapped around her. Very frightening! Then, a few hours after birth, her coloring changed. The nurse called it "dusky". She was alarmed and whisked Emily away, for close to an hour. I thought she was dying, since I wasn't getting any word. It was the longest hour of my life, spent pleading with God. They suctioned her airway and observed her, then brought her back with an oxygen monitor, which she used for the rest of our 48-hour stay. There were never any other problems.
You know, I had largely forgotten about that scary beginning? But now that I am close to delivery, I am suddenly scared about all the things that can go wrong. Will she be Down Syndrome and have a heart defect? Will the cord again be wrapped around my baby? I have been very calm about any such happenings, until today. Just some nervous jitters.
Emily learned to latch on well toward the end of our hospital stay, but my milk came in soon after we arrived home. The engorgement caused latching problems, leading me to have to pump and feed her with the tiny feeding cup hospitals now give out. After two days at home, all was straightened out, which is a record for me personally. However, even two days of serious nursing trouble this time, with a jealous two year old around, could really be nerve wracking.
During each pregnancy, I've prayed for a smooth beginning to the nursing relationships. God came closest to answering that with Emily. Daniel didn't latch consistently until 5 weeks old, and there was no latch at all with him until he was three weeks old. I developed preeclampsia with him around the start of labor, which wasn't discovered until I went to a clinic 36 hours after discharge for some breastfeeding help. Although my blood pressure was horrible in the post-partum ward, and during labor, the post-partum nurses thought it was my nerves, because Daniel wouldn't latch and I was rather distraught.
Anyhow, the breastfeeding-clinic nurse took my blood pressure, became suspicious, then took a urine sample, which was loaded with protein. I think my doctor felt very badly about discharging me without noticing, or following up on, the blood pressure readings, which I'm sure were recorded in my chart. But he did apparently tell the labor nurses to keep an eye on my blood pressure after delivery. They failed to relay that to the post-partum nurses when I transferred there. Since I was new at the pregnancy thing back then, I didn't know to be alarmed at the blood pressure readings. I just trusted everyone there to make the right decisions. Preeclampsia usually develops before delivery, and the process begins to reverse after labor. Labor is essentially the cure. In a small number of cases it develops after delivery, or up to six weeks post-partum.
Let this falling-through-the-cracks scenario be a lesson to all of us women, regarding our own health and that of our family. It pays to be well informed ahead of time, no matter what the health circumstance is. Human error will always be there and we can provide our own safety net.
So, anyhow, I was sent back to the hospital for four days with a preeclampsia diagnosis, and forced to pump and dump my milk due to the magnesium sulfate drip (prevents convulsions). Daniel had to stay at home with Don, who had never even held a baby before. And Daniel developed a moderate case of jaundice, probably due to the slow feeding start. Talk about a nightmare! He got so used to the bottle during those four days that it was a long haul to a smooth nursing relationship. But we made it, due to the grace of God, and Daniel nursed well until I became pregnant with Timmy (13.5 months later). He was active, even back then, so weaning was no trouble.
I hope this time the Lord really smooths the whole nursing thing, starting with the first latch in the hospital. If he chooses not to, I know his grace is sufficient, but I could sure use the encouragement of something being smooth and easy. Prevail we will, but hopefully without tears this time. I really, really love nursing, and I'll nurse this baby, my last, as long as she'll let me.
- Bending down to pick anything up is sooooo uncomfortable.
- I had a laparoscopy in my twenties to clean out endometriosis. One of the incisions was a tiny one in my belly button. Apparently, a band of scar tissue formed internally, which pulls and tugs and hurts when my belly gets this swollen.
- The medical stockings are no longer too warm, given our wintry weather, but I so want to burn them after this pregnancy. I hate them with a passion!
- I normally have a skinny face, neck and shoulders. Now, when I look in the mirror, I'm horrified at the plump-faced person staring back at me. The plumpness ages me more, as does lack of sleep, so I'm sure I'll be referred to as Anna Grace's grandmother before a month has passed.
- When I read to my children, I get out of breath because of the rearrangement of my organs. The stuffy nose plus the out-of-breath sensation makes me feel like primal screaming fairly regularly.
- I normally have varicose veins just in the shin area. Now, my right leg and foot are discolored, having been taken over by purple spider veins. My children are frightened when they see my legs now. I manage to get into the shower first thing most mornings, followed by the donning of my lovely stockings, which are very thick and tight, providing complete coverage of the ugliness. My children rarely see the horror this way. The spider veins, most of the swelling, and the purple coloring all go away, thank the Lord, and I'm left with just my shin veins post-partum. That's a good thing, since I married a leg man. You know you've married the right man when he still loves your legs, blemishes and all, after four kids. I'm a blessed woman.
Other tidbits:
When Emily Rose was born she needed oxygen, apparently because the cord was loosely wrapped around her. Very frightening! Then, a few hours after birth, her coloring changed. The nurse called it "dusky". She was alarmed and whisked Emily away, for close to an hour. I thought she was dying, since I wasn't getting any word. It was the longest hour of my life, spent pleading with God. They suctioned her airway and observed her, then brought her back with an oxygen monitor, which she used for the rest of our 48-hour stay. There were never any other problems.
You know, I had largely forgotten about that scary beginning? But now that I am close to delivery, I am suddenly scared about all the things that can go wrong. Will she be Down Syndrome and have a heart defect? Will the cord again be wrapped around my baby? I have been very calm about any such happenings, until today. Just some nervous jitters.
Emily learned to latch on well toward the end of our hospital stay, but my milk came in soon after we arrived home. The engorgement caused latching problems, leading me to have to pump and feed her with the tiny feeding cup hospitals now give out. After two days at home, all was straightened out, which is a record for me personally. However, even two days of serious nursing trouble this time, with a jealous two year old around, could really be nerve wracking.
During each pregnancy, I've prayed for a smooth beginning to the nursing relationships. God came closest to answering that with Emily. Daniel didn't latch consistently until 5 weeks old, and there was no latch at all with him until he was three weeks old. I developed preeclampsia with him around the start of labor, which wasn't discovered until I went to a clinic 36 hours after discharge for some breastfeeding help. Although my blood pressure was horrible in the post-partum ward, and during labor, the post-partum nurses thought it was my nerves, because Daniel wouldn't latch and I was rather distraught.
Anyhow, the breastfeeding-clinic nurse took my blood pressure, became suspicious, then took a urine sample, which was loaded with protein. I think my doctor felt very badly about discharging me without noticing, or following up on, the blood pressure readings, which I'm sure were recorded in my chart. But he did apparently tell the labor nurses to keep an eye on my blood pressure after delivery. They failed to relay that to the post-partum nurses when I transferred there. Since I was new at the pregnancy thing back then, I didn't know to be alarmed at the blood pressure readings. I just trusted everyone there to make the right decisions. Preeclampsia usually develops before delivery, and the process begins to reverse after labor. Labor is essentially the cure. In a small number of cases it develops after delivery, or up to six weeks post-partum.
Let this falling-through-the-cracks scenario be a lesson to all of us women, regarding our own health and that of our family. It pays to be well informed ahead of time, no matter what the health circumstance is. Human error will always be there and we can provide our own safety net.
So, anyhow, I was sent back to the hospital for four days with a preeclampsia diagnosis, and forced to pump and dump my milk due to the magnesium sulfate drip (prevents convulsions). Daniel had to stay at home with Don, who had never even held a baby before. And Daniel developed a moderate case of jaundice, probably due to the slow feeding start. Talk about a nightmare! He got so used to the bottle during those four days that it was a long haul to a smooth nursing relationship. But we made it, due to the grace of God, and Daniel nursed well until I became pregnant with Timmy (13.5 months later). He was active, even back then, so weaning was no trouble.
I hope this time the Lord really smooths the whole nursing thing, starting with the first latch in the hospital. If he chooses not to, I know his grace is sufficient, but I could sure use the encouragement of something being smooth and easy. Prevail we will, but hopefully without tears this time. I really, really love nursing, and I'll nurse this baby, my last, as long as she'll let me.
Monday, December 1, 2008
Nesting and Stuff
Good Monday evening to you. My husband went back to work today. All was calm on the home front. Blissful routine. Breaks from it are nice, true, but it always feels good to get reacquainted with it, yes? It's like sleeping in your own bed again after a few weeks on the road.
I am seriously nesting right now. I worked on organization and cleaning for two hours, checking my blood pressure every fifteen minutes, to ensure I wasn't overdoing it. My blood pressure is always good when I'm up and working, for whatever reason. But, shhhh, don't tell the Doc. I stayed down as much as possible after that, just to be on the safe side.
Someone from church brought a meal tonight. I was so pleasantly surprised and blessed! We haven't been attending there that long; it felt so nice to be remembered. Having the meal already prepared kept me off my feet for quite awhile in the evening.
Today Anna Grace's nonstress test was non-reactive again, but the ultrasound showed all is well. He blames it on the medication and wants me back on Thursday in the afternoon, which is the time of day her strip became reactive at the hospital last week. The ultrasound suggested a weight of 5 pounds, 13 ounces - give or take a pound. Judging from the number of "you don't look very big" comments I'm receiving, I'd say she is probably around 5.5 pounds. At least no one is currently saying, "Boy, you're carrying low". She has risen! LOL
Did you get the stuffy nose symptom while pregnant? I have every time, and it ends up being the one thing that drives me continually nuts. I can't wait to breath freely again! I now have the humidifier running every night. It's helping me sleep better. Pregnancy causes the nasal passages to swell in some women, leading to stuffiness.
If the strip is non-reactive again on Thursday, I have a hunch he will induce (I'm 37 weeks, 6 days on Thurs.). Sensing that, I am trying to prepare the house and my hospital bag. I've been blessed enough to find a whole lot of very nice baby clothes for Anna Grace at thrift stores over the past few months. They've been washed, but I've been needing to work on separating them by size; we are low on closet and drawer space, so I'll be keeping out only what she'll need for the first couple months. I have about five preemie outfits, which I'm sure she will need. All my kids have needed them - even Daniel used a couple with a birth weight of 6.6 pounds. They were all nineteen inches long.
I had gotten rid of Emily's 0-3 month things. I found nice replacements for those, plus nice dresses and outfits in various sizes (3-12 months). Dressing girls is fun. Kind of an extension of my own girlhood Barbie days? Probably. My sister and I loved dressing our Barbie dolls! And they didn't squirm like Miss Rose, which was nice! LOL
We needed a can opener very badly, and milk as always, so Don dragged himself to Walmart last night. No luck on finding a new rolling pin there. I guess the holiday bakers beat us to it; they were out of stock. Daniel, who as I mentioned can't wait for ANYTHING, is driving us nuts with his often repeated, "When can we make the gingerbread men?" In addition, since I mentioned stringing popcorn and making paper chains for our tree, he has repeatedly asked when we will get to the teacher store for the red and green construction paper. Needless to say, my sanity depends on getting around to these errands before the baby comes, as Don will surely NOT enjoy being sent to the teacher store, or on a wild goose chase for plain, popped popcorn in large quantity. My hunch is that part of the reason we won't be having anymore kids is that my husband can't stand the thought of once again being forced into the family shopper role. LOL
Yet the thing is, I feel guilty about shopping while supposedly being on bedrest. Really, I do. I'm half afraid to run into one of the nurses or my doctor. Perhaps I'll send my dad to the teacher store, who has an affinity for shopping. Only with Dad, one can't count on receiving just red and green. He'd bring back oodles of paper, despite the cost. For Heaven's sake - I should just learn to keep my mouth shut about what activities I have up my teacher sleeve. I learned that once, but I've been out of the classroom far too long. I'm losing my edge.
I am seriously nesting right now. I worked on organization and cleaning for two hours, checking my blood pressure every fifteen minutes, to ensure I wasn't overdoing it. My blood pressure is always good when I'm up and working, for whatever reason. But, shhhh, don't tell the Doc. I stayed down as much as possible after that, just to be on the safe side.
Someone from church brought a meal tonight. I was so pleasantly surprised and blessed! We haven't been attending there that long; it felt so nice to be remembered. Having the meal already prepared kept me off my feet for quite awhile in the evening.
Today Anna Grace's nonstress test was non-reactive again, but the ultrasound showed all is well. He blames it on the medication and wants me back on Thursday in the afternoon, which is the time of day her strip became reactive at the hospital last week. The ultrasound suggested a weight of 5 pounds, 13 ounces - give or take a pound. Judging from the number of "you don't look very big" comments I'm receiving, I'd say she is probably around 5.5 pounds. At least no one is currently saying, "Boy, you're carrying low". She has risen! LOL
Did you get the stuffy nose symptom while pregnant? I have every time, and it ends up being the one thing that drives me continually nuts. I can't wait to breath freely again! I now have the humidifier running every night. It's helping me sleep better. Pregnancy causes the nasal passages to swell in some women, leading to stuffiness.
If the strip is non-reactive again on Thursday, I have a hunch he will induce (I'm 37 weeks, 6 days on Thurs.). Sensing that, I am trying to prepare the house and my hospital bag. I've been blessed enough to find a whole lot of very nice baby clothes for Anna Grace at thrift stores over the past few months. They've been washed, but I've been needing to work on separating them by size; we are low on closet and drawer space, so I'll be keeping out only what she'll need for the first couple months. I have about five preemie outfits, which I'm sure she will need. All my kids have needed them - even Daniel used a couple with a birth weight of 6.6 pounds. They were all nineteen inches long.
I had gotten rid of Emily's 0-3 month things. I found nice replacements for those, plus nice dresses and outfits in various sizes (3-12 months). Dressing girls is fun. Kind of an extension of my own girlhood Barbie days? Probably. My sister and I loved dressing our Barbie dolls! And they didn't squirm like Miss Rose, which was nice! LOL
We needed a can opener very badly, and milk as always, so Don dragged himself to Walmart last night. No luck on finding a new rolling pin there. I guess the holiday bakers beat us to it; they were out of stock. Daniel, who as I mentioned can't wait for ANYTHING, is driving us nuts with his often repeated, "When can we make the gingerbread men?" In addition, since I mentioned stringing popcorn and making paper chains for our tree, he has repeatedly asked when we will get to the teacher store for the red and green construction paper. Needless to say, my sanity depends on getting around to these errands before the baby comes, as Don will surely NOT enjoy being sent to the teacher store, or on a wild goose chase for plain, popped popcorn in large quantity. My hunch is that part of the reason we won't be having anymore kids is that my husband can't stand the thought of once again being forced into the family shopper role. LOL
Yet the thing is, I feel guilty about shopping while supposedly being on bedrest. Really, I do. I'm half afraid to run into one of the nurses or my doctor. Perhaps I'll send my dad to the teacher store, who has an affinity for shopping. Only with Dad, one can't count on receiving just red and green. He'd bring back oodles of paper, despite the cost. For Heaven's sake - I should just learn to keep my mouth shut about what activities I have up my teacher sleeve. I learned that once, but I've been out of the classroom far too long. I'm losing my edge.
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Pregnancy Chronicles, Holiday Traditions
Doctor Appointment
I went to the hospital for my nonstress test last Wednesday morning at 8 a.m. Finally, six hours later, they discharged me. No, I didn't bring any reading material; I thought I'd only be there 90 minutes tops! I ended up having plenty of extra prayer time that day.
The test wasn't reactive enough, meaning that her heart rate wasn't rising with her movements, which also happened last Monday in his office. She takes hour-long naps now, but even while awake and moving, her heart rate wasn't cooperating. My doctor, on call there that day, ordered another biophysical-profile ultrasound as a precaution (checks placenta blood flow, amniotic fluid level, practice breathing, heart rate, among other things). It turned out fine, thank God.
While waiting for the results, I was simply starving, since I hadn't eaten since 6:45 that morning. I finally asserted myself and rang the nurse's call button, despite their obvious busyness. They were sweet, wonderful, and friendly to me; I loved all of the staff. I've had militant labor-ward nurses in my time, so when everyone is sweet, it's such a Godsend. But you know how labor wards are; the word "busy" just doesn't come close to describing it. They took pity on me, anyhow, and ordered me some meatloaf, mashed potatoes, and carrots. Finally, Anna Grace's heart rate begin rising with her movements, as desired. That was nearly two o'clock - six hours after my blood pressure med dose. I definitely will skip it before Monday's nonstress test, and I'll eat a larger breakfast. Lesson learned: Never go to a hospital without food stashed in your purse! You're at their mercy.
On the way back from the hospital, I stopped by Super Walmart and did our Thanksgiving and regular shopping (we already had the turkey, thankfully). Yes, that was big-time bedrest cheating. But a few days prior, I found out through some Internet research that this blood pressure med lowers blood pressure best in the standing position. Why then, put me on bedrest? Who knows! This med is helping my migraines, which is what prompted me to do some research. It is compatible with breastfeeding, as only .0004% of the maternal dose is secreted in the milk. I decided to give it a long-term try for my headaches. I'm on a very low dose, and I will request an even lower dose after labor to see if it's still effective for the migraines.
About ten years ago, I was given a beta blocker (blood pressure med) for my headaches, and after not seeing any change for two months, I quit taking it. I guess I should have requested a different beta blocker; I gave up too quickly. For awhile now, beta blockers have been prescribed as a first-line offense for migraines. They are less dangerous and better tolerated, compared to the stronger migraine drugs. Since I've been pregnant or nursing for 8 years now, I haven't been able to experiment with any other drug. Anyway, this unexpected, positive, drug side effect is so warmly welcomed, and such an answer to prayer!
Back to my grocery trip - we were very low on food, since Hubby hates shopping about as much as dressing kids for the snow. He loves food and can go through the cupboards and always find SOMETHING to eat. He doesn't discriminate; any food makes him happy. Daniel is also like that, but Timmy, Emily and me prefer to have some variety and some favorites always on hand. These last few days it has felt so good to have plenty of food! We were so low that the grocery tab came to $235.00! My husband didn't have the heart to scold me for going shopping. I think he was secretly relieved that he wouldn't have to go himself! LOL :)
Thanksgiving
Thanksgiving was wonderful. My dad and his wife came for dinner, and the food turned out pretty well. My honey and I are a good Thanksgiving team. While not gourmet cooks by any means, we do make everything from scratch on that day, despite the non-stop work it involves. The only pie we make from scratch is pumpkin, but we would probably do fine with an apple crumb as well. Just don't ask me to do a top/bottom pie crust. I practiced a bit before I was married, and it was never pretty. By the time the last child is at least ten, I will hopefully have time to practice and master a respectable pie.
Daniel loves a feast! Holidays really kick up his ADHD symptoms; he was extremely hyperactive and not able to concentrate enough to eat much, but he did appreciate the look, smell and taste of the feast. Boy, he is his father's son (i.e. food equals pleasure)! Thankfully, they are both blessed with high metabolism. Timothy and Emily ate a whole bunch of turkey, but passed on most of the rest. It's hard not to worry about those two. They don't get enough fruits or veggies, but meats, whole grains and dairy are eaten in sufficient quantity. What did parents do before vitamins? Thank God, too, for bananas and apples and baked potatoes. They both eat those.
Christmas Thoughts
For the last two years, Christmas has undergone a makeover in our little family. While we were never in the habit of spending as much as the average American household, we did manage to provide modest presents for siblings' children, our siblings, and our parents. We also got our own children (who were very young at the time) a few things.
All that is the past. Last year, for the first time, we couldn't buy anything for the extended family, and only got our children two presents each, mostly with money that was sent as gifts. In my heart, I know none of it matters, but my family in particular sees Christmas as a big deal. They love it and go all out with decorations and presents. They were verbally supportive last year when no presents (except homemade) were sent, but I could still tell they were dismayed. No, it wasn't so much that they wanted presents from us. I think it was more that they couldn't relate to our lifestyle. It's not something they would ever chose for themselves. After all, I have a teaching credential, and in their view, I could get a job (although teaching jobs are extremely scarce here).
It may be like this for some time, so I am praying that my family adjusts to our situation and begins to take it in stride. My sister and brother and I made an agreement about three years ago to only get each other's kids Christmas presents; that has helped a great deal with some of the pressure. Last year we made homemade gifts for each other's kids, but this year we may do a dollar-store gift exchange so the kids can pick something out for their cousins.
Even though Christ was born in the fall season, and the actual Christmas holiday was fashioned by the early Church from a few pagan traditions, we can't escape the fact that our kids live in THIS culture. We can't and shouldn't shield them from the entire Christmas tradition, despite its questionable origins. I want them to experience the richness of family tradition, family closeness, and seasonal joy. So, as I think and pray about it, I want to make the baking, craft creating, and cooking a bigger part of the season. Those traditions are less material, but still full of warmth, joy, togetherness. And, practiced consistently and as calmly as possible (LOL), they will produce valuable, lasting memories. We will do a Jesus birthday cake every year and continue to make church a big part of our celebrations. The boys are going to be in a Christmas production this year through our church. They will both be sheep and are super excited! I am a bit less excited, as I contemplate getting them there at 9 a.m. with a roughly eleven-day-old baby in tow. Don's Sunday position at his school will be in effect until shortly after Christmas. The church group he is serving there will not have their church building finished until the end of December. Anyway, regarding the children's play - I'm trying to be enthusiastic for the boys' sakes. My dad is not very reliable before 10:00 a.m., but I might enlist his help anyway.
Can any of you suggest a Christian book that provides ideas for making the Christmas season more meaningful, and less commercial, for children? I'd love the title, if you have the time to leave a note about it. Thank you!
Today I downloaded basic recipes for Gingerbread Men and for sugar cookies. Last year we managed the cookies with only a couple of small PlayDoh rolling pins. It was comical, to say the least. When we first moved here, Timothy was 20 months old and I caught him playing with our rolling pin one day as I was unpacking a few things. First, it was innocent; he was rolling it around with delight. Later, it looked like he was going to playfully clobber big brother with it. I remember taking it away as a precaution and putting it up in a "safe place". I hate to admit it, but I have since never found that "safe place". This year, needless to say, we have to break down and get another rolling pin, to accommodate our "calm" Christmas baking traditions. With Daniel about as high as a kite this time of year, I don't know how close we'll get to calmness. We'll give it our best shot though. Maybe if I take pictures of their smiling faces while we go about our activities, they'll remember the traditions and the togetherness, and not the hair-raising chaos that accompanied them. Maybe. :)
Lastly, I wanted to share this recipe for holiday yams. For me, holiday meals are all about the yams! Love them!
I combined a few recipes to accommodate what we had on hand. This is what I came up with. Very tasty.
Holiday Yams
Ingredients
6 medium-large yams (Cut in half, then boil, drain, cool. Peel and slice smaller)
1/4 c. butter
1/2 c. orange juice
1/2 c. brown sugar ( or 1/4 c., if you prefer less sweetness)
1 Tbsp lemon juice
3/4 tsp. ground cinnamon
3/4 tsp. ground nutmeg
Topping - marshmallows
Combine all ingredients using electric mixer. Arrange in baking dish, sprinkle with marshmallows. Bake for 30 minutes at 350 degrees.
I went to the hospital for my nonstress test last Wednesday morning at 8 a.m. Finally, six hours later, they discharged me. No, I didn't bring any reading material; I thought I'd only be there 90 minutes tops! I ended up having plenty of extra prayer time that day.
The test wasn't reactive enough, meaning that her heart rate wasn't rising with her movements, which also happened last Monday in his office. She takes hour-long naps now, but even while awake and moving, her heart rate wasn't cooperating. My doctor, on call there that day, ordered another biophysical-profile ultrasound as a precaution (checks placenta blood flow, amniotic fluid level, practice breathing, heart rate, among other things). It turned out fine, thank God.
While waiting for the results, I was simply starving, since I hadn't eaten since 6:45 that morning. I finally asserted myself and rang the nurse's call button, despite their obvious busyness. They were sweet, wonderful, and friendly to me; I loved all of the staff. I've had militant labor-ward nurses in my time, so when everyone is sweet, it's such a Godsend. But you know how labor wards are; the word "busy" just doesn't come close to describing it. They took pity on me, anyhow, and ordered me some meatloaf, mashed potatoes, and carrots. Finally, Anna Grace's heart rate begin rising with her movements, as desired. That was nearly two o'clock - six hours after my blood pressure med dose. I definitely will skip it before Monday's nonstress test, and I'll eat a larger breakfast. Lesson learned: Never go to a hospital without food stashed in your purse! You're at their mercy.
On the way back from the hospital, I stopped by Super Walmart and did our Thanksgiving and regular shopping (we already had the turkey, thankfully). Yes, that was big-time bedrest cheating. But a few days prior, I found out through some Internet research that this blood pressure med lowers blood pressure best in the standing position. Why then, put me on bedrest? Who knows! This med is helping my migraines, which is what prompted me to do some research. It is compatible with breastfeeding, as only .0004% of the maternal dose is secreted in the milk. I decided to give it a long-term try for my headaches. I'm on a very low dose, and I will request an even lower dose after labor to see if it's still effective for the migraines.
About ten years ago, I was given a beta blocker (blood pressure med) for my headaches, and after not seeing any change for two months, I quit taking it. I guess I should have requested a different beta blocker; I gave up too quickly. For awhile now, beta blockers have been prescribed as a first-line offense for migraines. They are less dangerous and better tolerated, compared to the stronger migraine drugs. Since I've been pregnant or nursing for 8 years now, I haven't been able to experiment with any other drug. Anyway, this unexpected, positive, drug side effect is so warmly welcomed, and such an answer to prayer!
Back to my grocery trip - we were very low on food, since Hubby hates shopping about as much as dressing kids for the snow. He loves food and can go through the cupboards and always find SOMETHING to eat. He doesn't discriminate; any food makes him happy. Daniel is also like that, but Timmy, Emily and me prefer to have some variety and some favorites always on hand. These last few days it has felt so good to have plenty of food! We were so low that the grocery tab came to $235.00! My husband didn't have the heart to scold me for going shopping. I think he was secretly relieved that he wouldn't have to go himself! LOL :)
Thanksgiving
Thanksgiving was wonderful. My dad and his wife came for dinner, and the food turned out pretty well. My honey and I are a good Thanksgiving team. While not gourmet cooks by any means, we do make everything from scratch on that day, despite the non-stop work it involves. The only pie we make from scratch is pumpkin, but we would probably do fine with an apple crumb as well. Just don't ask me to do a top/bottom pie crust. I practiced a bit before I was married, and it was never pretty. By the time the last child is at least ten, I will hopefully have time to practice and master a respectable pie.
Daniel loves a feast! Holidays really kick up his ADHD symptoms; he was extremely hyperactive and not able to concentrate enough to eat much, but he did appreciate the look, smell and taste of the feast. Boy, he is his father's son (i.e. food equals pleasure)! Thankfully, they are both blessed with high metabolism. Timothy and Emily ate a whole bunch of turkey, but passed on most of the rest. It's hard not to worry about those two. They don't get enough fruits or veggies, but meats, whole grains and dairy are eaten in sufficient quantity. What did parents do before vitamins? Thank God, too, for bananas and apples and baked potatoes. They both eat those.
Christmas Thoughts
For the last two years, Christmas has undergone a makeover in our little family. While we were never in the habit of spending as much as the average American household, we did manage to provide modest presents for siblings' children, our siblings, and our parents. We also got our own children (who were very young at the time) a few things.
All that is the past. Last year, for the first time, we couldn't buy anything for the extended family, and only got our children two presents each, mostly with money that was sent as gifts. In my heart, I know none of it matters, but my family in particular sees Christmas as a big deal. They love it and go all out with decorations and presents. They were verbally supportive last year when no presents (except homemade) were sent, but I could still tell they were dismayed. No, it wasn't so much that they wanted presents from us. I think it was more that they couldn't relate to our lifestyle. It's not something they would ever chose for themselves. After all, I have a teaching credential, and in their view, I could get a job (although teaching jobs are extremely scarce here).
It may be like this for some time, so I am praying that my family adjusts to our situation and begins to take it in stride. My sister and brother and I made an agreement about three years ago to only get each other's kids Christmas presents; that has helped a great deal with some of the pressure. Last year we made homemade gifts for each other's kids, but this year we may do a dollar-store gift exchange so the kids can pick something out for their cousins.
Even though Christ was born in the fall season, and the actual Christmas holiday was fashioned by the early Church from a few pagan traditions, we can't escape the fact that our kids live in THIS culture. We can't and shouldn't shield them from the entire Christmas tradition, despite its questionable origins. I want them to experience the richness of family tradition, family closeness, and seasonal joy. So, as I think and pray about it, I want to make the baking, craft creating, and cooking a bigger part of the season. Those traditions are less material, but still full of warmth, joy, togetherness. And, practiced consistently and as calmly as possible (LOL), they will produce valuable, lasting memories. We will do a Jesus birthday cake every year and continue to make church a big part of our celebrations. The boys are going to be in a Christmas production this year through our church. They will both be sheep and are super excited! I am a bit less excited, as I contemplate getting them there at 9 a.m. with a roughly eleven-day-old baby in tow. Don's Sunday position at his school will be in effect until shortly after Christmas. The church group he is serving there will not have their church building finished until the end of December. Anyway, regarding the children's play - I'm trying to be enthusiastic for the boys' sakes. My dad is not very reliable before 10:00 a.m., but I might enlist his help anyway.
Can any of you suggest a Christian book that provides ideas for making the Christmas season more meaningful, and less commercial, for children? I'd love the title, if you have the time to leave a note about it. Thank you!
Today I downloaded basic recipes for Gingerbread Men and for sugar cookies. Last year we managed the cookies with only a couple of small PlayDoh rolling pins. It was comical, to say the least. When we first moved here, Timothy was 20 months old and I caught him playing with our rolling pin one day as I was unpacking a few things. First, it was innocent; he was rolling it around with delight. Later, it looked like he was going to playfully clobber big brother with it. I remember taking it away as a precaution and putting it up in a "safe place". I hate to admit it, but I have since never found that "safe place". This year, needless to say, we have to break down and get another rolling pin, to accommodate our "calm" Christmas baking traditions. With Daniel about as high as a kite this time of year, I don't know how close we'll get to calmness. We'll give it our best shot though. Maybe if I take pictures of their smiling faces while we go about our activities, they'll remember the traditions and the togetherness, and not the hair-raising chaos that accompanied them. Maybe. :)
Lastly, I wanted to share this recipe for holiday yams. For me, holiday meals are all about the yams! Love them!
I combined a few recipes to accommodate what we had on hand. This is what I came up with. Very tasty.
Holiday Yams
Ingredients
6 medium-large yams (Cut in half, then boil, drain, cool. Peel and slice smaller)
1/4 c. butter
1/2 c. orange juice
1/2 c. brown sugar ( or 1/4 c., if you prefer less sweetness)
1 Tbsp lemon juice
3/4 tsp. ground cinnamon
3/4 tsp. ground nutmeg
Topping - marshmallows
Combine all ingredients using electric mixer. Arrange in baking dish, sprinkle with marshmallows. Bake for 30 minutes at 350 degrees.
Monday, November 24, 2008
Still Pregnant and Stir Crazy
I went to the doctor bright and early this morning. Anna Grace again got 10 out of 10 on the biophysical profile. The nonstress test wasn't very reactive, which the doctor attributes to my morning blood pressure dose. The beta blocker can keep her heart rate from rising as it normally would with each movement. I normally have it several hours before my appointment, but today it was taken only an hour before arriving at his office. He didn't seem worried, but is having me go to labor and delivery for another nonstress test on Wednesday morning (the day he is on call there). I won't have another office visit until Monday.
If the blood pressure numbers stay as they are, he plans on allowing the pregnancy to go to 39 weeks. I was happy that he thinks things are going well, of course. But I also had an urge to shake him mercilessly and plead with him to take me out of my misery ASAP. LOL I settled for a polite "thank you" and "have a good day".
All these appointments, plus Don being home so much has really thrown off our routine. Daniel had three meltdowns before noon, and Mommy had one following his third. Daniel was in timeout more than out of it, and we didn't get much schooling done, beyond the reading segment. Daddy will do social studies and science this afternoon, but I plan on making up the rest of my portion on Friday (supposedly vacation, but Daniel doesn't know where his vacation days fall). I've reached saturation with stress for today.
Don will go back to work the Monday after Thanksgiving, regardless of how long the doctor keeps me on bedrest. I am relieved, although I love him dearly and appreciate his support. Things are just calmer when we stick to routine. Don has some minor ADD symptoms which only really surface when his own routine is thrown off. Taking care of the kids and managing the house is very fast-paced, detail-oriented work. I am so used to the pace that it doesn't phase me much. It is more difficult for him, and he finds himself leaving sharp knives on the dining room table and walking away, or putting Emily on the potty and forgetting he put her there, only to find she's gotten up and peed on the floor somewhere. Little things like that make it harder for me to stay down. I get up to help, and then he gets frustrated that he needed the help.
I am not a person who likes directing or managing adults in any way, even when they've been assigned to help me. My dad sent his young wife to help after Emily was born. She isn't a self-starter and we would get to 2 pm before the kids got any lunch. I was trying to figure out the early breastfeeding and it just added stress to have to direct her in every little thing. I remember trying to do most things myself after a couple of days.
Today Don got angry at me and said that I need to try harder to work together. He says I am a one-person show, and that I relish working alone. Isn't it scary how well our spouses know us? I really have always preferred working alone, or along side someone who didn't need direction. Teaching suited me in that respect. I can direct children in my sleep, usually with comfort, grace and ease. Plus, teachers get to work alone in their classrooms most of the time, getting together with other teachers primarily just for special events and lunch breaks.
And anyway, who wants to ask their husband to vacuum, or say that the floor needs to be swept soon? He simply doesn't notice these things. Requesting that he do them seems so pushy to me. I can't relate to pushy people and I don't want to be one or sound like one. I go ahead and do these things, although much less often than usual, rather than ask him. After all, I don't want anyone alerting the child health department about our housekeeping. LOL It sounds funny, but we moms know that you can't get so far behind that it becomes impossible to catch up. You can lower your standards, surely, but you can't do away with them entirely.
Strangely enough, these occasional chores don't cause my blood pressure to increase. In fact, I was without help during Don's weekend shifts, and my blood pressure improved while I went about and got things done. I think it was the reduction in stress. I don't really believe in this bed rest, but I'm doing it anyway with as much discipline as I can muster. And Don thinks we're better off playing it safe, even if we're all driving one another nuts.
If the blood pressure numbers stay as they are, he plans on allowing the pregnancy to go to 39 weeks. I was happy that he thinks things are going well, of course. But I also had an urge to shake him mercilessly and plead with him to take me out of my misery ASAP. LOL I settled for a polite "thank you" and "have a good day".
All these appointments, plus Don being home so much has really thrown off our routine. Daniel had three meltdowns before noon, and Mommy had one following his third. Daniel was in timeout more than out of it, and we didn't get much schooling done, beyond the reading segment. Daddy will do social studies and science this afternoon, but I plan on making up the rest of my portion on Friday (supposedly vacation, but Daniel doesn't know where his vacation days fall). I've reached saturation with stress for today.
Don will go back to work the Monday after Thanksgiving, regardless of how long the doctor keeps me on bedrest. I am relieved, although I love him dearly and appreciate his support. Things are just calmer when we stick to routine. Don has some minor ADD symptoms which only really surface when his own routine is thrown off. Taking care of the kids and managing the house is very fast-paced, detail-oriented work. I am so used to the pace that it doesn't phase me much. It is more difficult for him, and he finds himself leaving sharp knives on the dining room table and walking away, or putting Emily on the potty and forgetting he put her there, only to find she's gotten up and peed on the floor somewhere. Little things like that make it harder for me to stay down. I get up to help, and then he gets frustrated that he needed the help.
I am not a person who likes directing or managing adults in any way, even when they've been assigned to help me. My dad sent his young wife to help after Emily was born. She isn't a self-starter and we would get to 2 pm before the kids got any lunch. I was trying to figure out the early breastfeeding and it just added stress to have to direct her in every little thing. I remember trying to do most things myself after a couple of days.
Today Don got angry at me and said that I need to try harder to work together. He says I am a one-person show, and that I relish working alone. Isn't it scary how well our spouses know us? I really have always preferred working alone, or along side someone who didn't need direction. Teaching suited me in that respect. I can direct children in my sleep, usually with comfort, grace and ease. Plus, teachers get to work alone in their classrooms most of the time, getting together with other teachers primarily just for special events and lunch breaks.
And anyway, who wants to ask their husband to vacuum, or say that the floor needs to be swept soon? He simply doesn't notice these things. Requesting that he do them seems so pushy to me. I can't relate to pushy people and I don't want to be one or sound like one. I go ahead and do these things, although much less often than usual, rather than ask him. After all, I don't want anyone alerting the child health department about our housekeeping. LOL It sounds funny, but we moms know that you can't get so far behind that it becomes impossible to catch up. You can lower your standards, surely, but you can't do away with them entirely.
Strangely enough, these occasional chores don't cause my blood pressure to increase. In fact, I was without help during Don's weekend shifts, and my blood pressure improved while I went about and got things done. I think it was the reduction in stress. I don't really believe in this bed rest, but I'm doing it anyway with as much discipline as I can muster. And Don thinks we're better off playing it safe, even if we're all driving one another nuts.
Saturday, November 22, 2008
A Little of This and That
That is great news, Liz, about the headaches. What a victory! I hadn't thought about chiropractic help, but did read last year that some migraine sufferers grind their teeth at night, which in theory could lead to the problem. My new dentist suggested I might be a grinder; he's going to make me a mouth piece to wear at night.
I hope you are recovering well from the surgery, and that it wasn't regarding anything serious. I have prayed for you.
We have 80/20 PPO insurance. If the mouth piece doesn't work, I'll look into our out-of-pocket costs for a chiropractor.
Well, the decision has been made about our family planning. Since it is a family spiritual decision, it was Don's to finalize, and mine to just provide input and prayer regarding. We will not be having more children. He's decided to get the vasectomy. When he can do so, though, would depend on whether it is covered by insurance. If God wants us to have more, my guess is that he will squeeze another pregnancy in before Don gets the surgery. He can be sneaky that way. We know a couple who had another child, unexpectedly, after the husband had the surgery. The doctor apparently made a mistake.
I am relieved to have the decision made, but also feeling sad about it. Don's feeling is that God would have provided more income by now, as well as lower blood pressure numbers, if we were supposed to expand another time. I see that, clearly, but I also know of so many situations in which God has provided little miracles at the last minute. I see also, though, that God puts a man and a woman together to balance each other's God-given traits. Men generally are more analytical and make decisions from the head, less than from the heart. And perhaps God wanted the analytical to prevail here. I have never felt that there was really any right or wrong decision in regard to this issue, as long as the decision was prayer-filled. I know Don has prayed about this.
What also has occurred to me is that if our wealth increases in the next few years, maybe God would provide a child adoption opportunity. One never knows what he has planned.
I hope you are recovering well from the surgery, and that it wasn't regarding anything serious. I have prayed for you.
We have 80/20 PPO insurance. If the mouth piece doesn't work, I'll look into our out-of-pocket costs for a chiropractor.
Well, the decision has been made about our family planning. Since it is a family spiritual decision, it was Don's to finalize, and mine to just provide input and prayer regarding. We will not be having more children. He's decided to get the vasectomy. When he can do so, though, would depend on whether it is covered by insurance. If God wants us to have more, my guess is that he will squeeze another pregnancy in before Don gets the surgery. He can be sneaky that way. We know a couple who had another child, unexpectedly, after the husband had the surgery. The doctor apparently made a mistake.
I am relieved to have the decision made, but also feeling sad about it. Don's feeling is that God would have provided more income by now, as well as lower blood pressure numbers, if we were supposed to expand another time. I see that, clearly, but I also know of so many situations in which God has provided little miracles at the last minute. I see also, though, that God puts a man and a woman together to balance each other's God-given traits. Men generally are more analytical and make decisions from the head, less than from the heart. And perhaps God wanted the analytical to prevail here. I have never felt that there was really any right or wrong decision in regard to this issue, as long as the decision was prayer-filled. I know Don has prayed about this.
What also has occurred to me is that if our wealth increases in the next few years, maybe God would provide a child adoption opportunity. One never knows what he has planned.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Bedrest Chronicles
I went to the doctor again yesterday for a nonstress test, during which they hook you up to the monitor and watch for the baby's heart rate to rise with her movements (called a reactive strip). Last time it took a bit of time for them to collect the data they wanted, so I asked what I should eat or drink next time to help it go faster. The nurse said to drink something cold right before, like orange juice, and eat an hour before. Well, orange juice has always upset my stomach due to the acid content, and unfortunately it didn't work out to time my meal for an hour before, so in a rush I went through the drive through on the way to his office and opted for a cold chocolate shake. Boy, she liked that! LOL She was shaking, rattling, and rolling in there. Didn't take long to get the data at all.
I lost four pounds since last Thursday. At first I panicked upon seeing the number, but then I realized it must be that bedrest cuts down on water retention. I noticed my ankles were no longer swollen, and my face seems less swollen. Before I was on my feet constantly and I knew I was retaining a lot of fluid. I'm still drinking the same amount (about 3 to 4 (20 oz.) water bottles daily).
I go in again on Thursday, this time for a nonstress test and another ultrasound. I asked him if I should expect the baby to gain about a half pound a week (that's what I've read). He said that is what the books always say, but that if it were true babies would come out as giants. He thinks a quarter pound per week at the most should be expected. That doesn't really make sense to me. The average baby is 7.5 pounds at 40 weeks, and between 5 to 5.5 pounds at 35 weeks. Don't they have to gain up to a half-pound a week, to be around 7.5 at birth? It must be that the ultrasound weights are off more than we know.
His comment also leads me to question the wisdom of letting the baby stay in the maximum amount of time, given the blood pressure concern and the fact that it could go into preeclampsia, and/or it could lead to a detached placenta. The blood pressure medicine is working less well now. Its purpose is really only to buy time. It isn't a cure for PIH.
Timmy weighed 5.9 pounds at birth and was 10 pounds about 6 to 7 weeks later, just from breastmilk. Couldn't I fatten up baby better with breastmilk, if the womb only puts on a quarter pound a week at most? I decided this is compelling enough to ask him about the risks of inducing at 37 weeks (considered full term). I will be 36 weeks this Friday. My California doctor was more cautious about preeclampsia. His feeling was that one should always expect PIH to turn into preeclampsia, and that delivery should occur between 37 and 38 weeks if possible, to prevent further problems. This current doctor believes more in letting baby stay in as long as possible, barring an actual emergency. I want her to stay in as long as it takes for her to be able to suckle, swallow, and breathe all at the same time. Having the physical maturity to manage those three functions allows them to go home soon after delivery; usually this maturity occurs by 37 weeks. I believe that is why 37 weeks is considered full term. After 37 weeks the function of the womb is mainly to put fat on the baby.
I regret that she is on this blood pressure medication, and I hate the fact that the bedrest is putting stress on our family (my husband in particular). There is no evidence that bedrest improves outcomes. I have been put on it four times since Dec. 2001 (with each pregnancy). Current research is still showing no statistically-significant improved outcomes, even though the blood pressure numbers always improve when one is lying on the left side. I don't really understand it, but I do what I'm told as much as possible. My poor husband is really going out of his mind, though. Since he is so cranky, the kids are starting to get cranky. Putting up with each other's crankiness is part of learning to love unconditionally, forgive, and extend grace. It is certainly good for all of us in the long run. I get that part. This is primarily the reason that God allows hardship in our lives. It grows us in ways we wouldn't be able to orchestrate ourselves. And as we grow in love, we are better instruments for God's work.
In other news, I decided to e-mail that homeschooling mother of eight from my homeschooling group. I don't know many large families, and I really wanted to pick her heart and brain a little about Christian family planning into the forties. I was shy about writing, since I have never actually met her, but homeschooling mothers are a tightly knit group, generally speaking. I'm hoping she won't mind my questions. It happens to be a Christian homeschooling group, so she is probably familiar with the Titus 2(Biblical) model of women helping women.
I have pictures to post, but will have to get to that later today.
I lost four pounds since last Thursday. At first I panicked upon seeing the number, but then I realized it must be that bedrest cuts down on water retention. I noticed my ankles were no longer swollen, and my face seems less swollen. Before I was on my feet constantly and I knew I was retaining a lot of fluid. I'm still drinking the same amount (about 3 to 4 (20 oz.) water bottles daily).
I go in again on Thursday, this time for a nonstress test and another ultrasound. I asked him if I should expect the baby to gain about a half pound a week (that's what I've read). He said that is what the books always say, but that if it were true babies would come out as giants. He thinks a quarter pound per week at the most should be expected. That doesn't really make sense to me. The average baby is 7.5 pounds at 40 weeks, and between 5 to 5.5 pounds at 35 weeks. Don't they have to gain up to a half-pound a week, to be around 7.5 at birth? It must be that the ultrasound weights are off more than we know.
His comment also leads me to question the wisdom of letting the baby stay in the maximum amount of time, given the blood pressure concern and the fact that it could go into preeclampsia, and/or it could lead to a detached placenta. The blood pressure medicine is working less well now. Its purpose is really only to buy time. It isn't a cure for PIH.
Timmy weighed 5.9 pounds at birth and was 10 pounds about 6 to 7 weeks later, just from breastmilk. Couldn't I fatten up baby better with breastmilk, if the womb only puts on a quarter pound a week at most? I decided this is compelling enough to ask him about the risks of inducing at 37 weeks (considered full term). I will be 36 weeks this Friday. My California doctor was more cautious about preeclampsia. His feeling was that one should always expect PIH to turn into preeclampsia, and that delivery should occur between 37 and 38 weeks if possible, to prevent further problems. This current doctor believes more in letting baby stay in as long as possible, barring an actual emergency. I want her to stay in as long as it takes for her to be able to suckle, swallow, and breathe all at the same time. Having the physical maturity to manage those three functions allows them to go home soon after delivery; usually this maturity occurs by 37 weeks. I believe that is why 37 weeks is considered full term. After 37 weeks the function of the womb is mainly to put fat on the baby.
I regret that she is on this blood pressure medication, and I hate the fact that the bedrest is putting stress on our family (my husband in particular). There is no evidence that bedrest improves outcomes. I have been put on it four times since Dec. 2001 (with each pregnancy). Current research is still showing no statistically-significant improved outcomes, even though the blood pressure numbers always improve when one is lying on the left side. I don't really understand it, but I do what I'm told as much as possible. My poor husband is really going out of his mind, though. Since he is so cranky, the kids are starting to get cranky. Putting up with each other's crankiness is part of learning to love unconditionally, forgive, and extend grace. It is certainly good for all of us in the long run. I get that part. This is primarily the reason that God allows hardship in our lives. It grows us in ways we wouldn't be able to orchestrate ourselves. And as we grow in love, we are better instruments for God's work.
In other news, I decided to e-mail that homeschooling mother of eight from my homeschooling group. I don't know many large families, and I really wanted to pick her heart and brain a little about Christian family planning into the forties. I was shy about writing, since I have never actually met her, but homeschooling mothers are a tightly knit group, generally speaking. I'm hoping she won't mind my questions. It happens to be a Christian homeschooling group, so she is probably familiar with the Titus 2(Biblical) model of women helping women.
I have pictures to post, but will have to get to that later today.
Saturday, November 15, 2008
The Witching Hour
A dance party fit only for the witching hour. Energy is always sky high right around dinner time. What's up with that?
That belly represents part of my 38 pound weight gain. I hope there's at least a five pound baby folded up in there. Yes, I did comb my hair today. Lying around does a number on it. Don took that picture and I haven't a clue how to turn it upright.
Stir Crazy Thoughts
So it's 3:30 pm and I've been lying down all day, except to change a couple of diapers and reboot two loads of laundry. Literally, I'm going out of my mind. I'm active by nature.
Recently I've come into contact with two large homeschooling families. One I met in the dentist's office just last week. She is a mom of six and with all her pregnancies except one, she suffered gestational diabetes. I've been considering that maybe I should stop having kids because it seems to be so problematic for me, compared to many women (as compared to the Duggar family, for instance, who are going on their eighteenth child, I believe). I've never heard of Mrs. Duggar having any trouble. Maybe that is why they keep getting a green light from the Lord? Plus, they are a fairly wealthy family. Not to mention that Mr. Duggar is not as old as Don is. I believe both the Duggars are about 41.
The other large family I've just recently had e-mail contact with. The mom is one of the homeschooling moms in my homeschool group. I e-mailed the group asking about early intervention services for speech problems, since several of the families have kids in speech. I am certain Emily has oral-motor difficulties. Anyway, I happened to mention to one of the moms who responded to the e-mail that I had to take blood pressure medicine at the end of Emily's pregnancy and I was hoping it didn't contribute to a speech impediment, since I was just put on something similar for this pregnancy. She wrote back trying to reassure me about the medicine. She said she is going on her eighth child and hasn't ever taken any medications except for thyroid medicine. She didn't mention how long she was on it or if she had to take it during pregnancies. Yet despite being mostly medicine free, she has two children with serious speech problems and all the rest have one thing or another. She thinks it is just how God works and I should take the medicine without any concern. The lesson I think is that large families have their share of problems, and they aren't necessarily a reason to say enough is enough, in terms of procreating.
My thoughts aren't any clearer about whether or not to end my fertility, but I should keep in mind that God provides grace for all these various difficulties. Right now this seems overwhelming, but once the baby is with us and nursing well, it will all be more than worth it. That leaves me, probably, with just the concern that we are not a wealthy family and that may be a red light. We are still praying about another organization signing up to use Don's school gym, starting in February. We really need that overtime. Nothing has materialized in that area yet, so that is definitely a red light for now. God has always provided and I know it's silly to think he won't this time.
I heard this week in the doctor's office that women who are prone to preeclampsia or pregnancy-induced hypertension usually do not have the same problems if they change partners. So, it is apparently the man's chemistry that either causes or contributes to the problem. I'm definitely not changing partners, but maybe this warrants Don getting the surgery, instead of me? LOL Wonder if he would see it that way?
This is such a tough decision.
Recently I've come into contact with two large homeschooling families. One I met in the dentist's office just last week. She is a mom of six and with all her pregnancies except one, she suffered gestational diabetes. I've been considering that maybe I should stop having kids because it seems to be so problematic for me, compared to many women (as compared to the Duggar family, for instance, who are going on their eighteenth child, I believe). I've never heard of Mrs. Duggar having any trouble. Maybe that is why they keep getting a green light from the Lord? Plus, they are a fairly wealthy family. Not to mention that Mr. Duggar is not as old as Don is. I believe both the Duggars are about 41.
The other large family I've just recently had e-mail contact with. The mom is one of the homeschooling moms in my homeschool group. I e-mailed the group asking about early intervention services for speech problems, since several of the families have kids in speech. I am certain Emily has oral-motor difficulties. Anyway, I happened to mention to one of the moms who responded to the e-mail that I had to take blood pressure medicine at the end of Emily's pregnancy and I was hoping it didn't contribute to a speech impediment, since I was just put on something similar for this pregnancy. She wrote back trying to reassure me about the medicine. She said she is going on her eighth child and hasn't ever taken any medications except for thyroid medicine. She didn't mention how long she was on it or if she had to take it during pregnancies. Yet despite being mostly medicine free, she has two children with serious speech problems and all the rest have one thing or another. She thinks it is just how God works and I should take the medicine without any concern. The lesson I think is that large families have their share of problems, and they aren't necessarily a reason to say enough is enough, in terms of procreating.
My thoughts aren't any clearer about whether or not to end my fertility, but I should keep in mind that God provides grace for all these various difficulties. Right now this seems overwhelming, but once the baby is with us and nursing well, it will all be more than worth it. That leaves me, probably, with just the concern that we are not a wealthy family and that may be a red light. We are still praying about another organization signing up to use Don's school gym, starting in February. We really need that overtime. Nothing has materialized in that area yet, so that is definitely a red light for now. God has always provided and I know it's silly to think he won't this time.
I heard this week in the doctor's office that women who are prone to preeclampsia or pregnancy-induced hypertension usually do not have the same problems if they change partners. So, it is apparently the man's chemistry that either causes or contributes to the problem. I'm definitely not changing partners, but maybe this warrants Don getting the surgery, instead of me? LOL Wonder if he would see it that way?
This is such a tough decision.
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