Momma's inner Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle

Daniel and Timothy adore that Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle.  It's their mother, however, who giggles the most at Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle and her clever, endearing, naughty-behavior fixes.

Take the answer-backer cure, for example.  Momma Pam found herself quite unable to get through a paragraph of that chapter without frequently erupting in uncontrollable giggling.  Her boys, amused at their mother at first, soon became quite annoyed at these delays in the storytelling.

Penelope, a parrot, is Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle's cure for answer-backer children.  The premise is that once the child hears how horrid he sounds, he will want to be pleasant and polite again.  Penelope is very rude indeed, and repeats every answer-backer thing she's heard the children say.

Here are her favorite answer-backs:

"I'll do it because I want to but not because you tell me to."

"Say are you the boss around here?  Are you the boss around here?  Are you the boss around here?  Who's the boss, anyway?"

"Oh, yeah?  Oh yeah?  Oh yeah?"

"What am I, a servant?  Work!  Work!  Work!  What am I, a servant?  Say who's the boss around here?"

"Oh, hurry, hurry, hurry.  Hurry yourself!"

Now Momma Pam's boys don't usually sass their parents, but they do their fair share of objecting and arguing.  So the morning after reading this chapter, Momma Pam decided to get in touch with her inner Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle.

When the boys objected to the morning directions--"Brush your teeth, make your beds, and then get dressed"--Momma Pam hopped up and down like Penelope, and squawked, "Say who's the boss around here?  Who's the boss around here?  Who's the boss around here?"

The boys giggled and giggled.  And then they happily followed the directions.  They thought their Momma was sooo cool.  Very cool, indeed.

Until the afternoon, at which time Timothy could no longer take it.

Momma Pam:  "After Cyber Chase you need to clear the construction paper, glue sticks, scissors and scraps off the table.  We need to set it for dinner."

Boys:  "But we can't!  We're not done with our creations!"

Momma Pam:  "Work!  Work!  Work!  What am I, a servant?  Who's the boss around here?"

The boys--or Timothy at least--no longer thought this new game was funny.

Timothy:  "That's really starting to annoy me!"

Momma Pam:  "Oh, you don't say.  Is Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle's cure working, then?"

Timothy:  "Yes!  I can't take it anymore!"

Now you moms out there be sure and practice your answer-backs in front of the mirror.  And don't forget the hopping around part.  You never know when you'll need to start channeling Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle.

diversity in one family

Personalities.  It's amazing how varied they can be in the same family.

Timothy:  Vomited for over 24 hours with nary a complaint.  He suffered in silence--his mood unaffected.

Rosey:  Started with a fever in the middle of the night.  Smiled at me as I soothed her.  This morning, in her big-girl, helpful way, she made a point of telling me, goodnaturedly "I've got my bowl, Mommy."  (Mommy requires that everyone walk around with a bowl when vomit is on the horizon.)

Daniel:  Started with a fever and one vomiting incident in the middle of the night.  I went in to help him, and he offered in a loud voice, "I'm going to die!  I can barely move!"  After several other demands and grouchy utterances, he came up with, "Will I be able to watch TV like Timmy did?  But the couch isn't big enough for both of us!  Can I pick the movie?"

I stand in awe of their uniqueness, and sometimes feel overwhelmed while trying to meet their diverse needs.  Diversity is beautiful, however.  God's design is flawless.

A Hefalump

Earlier I checked out the Pooh Hefalump movie from the library, to enhance Timothy's stuck-on-the-couch experience.  He still hasn't perked up this afternoon, although he seemed to thoroughly enjoy the movie.  Pooh never fails to entertain us.

A couple hours later I came into my bedroom to hang up some clothes, and I saw Daniel doing something in here in the dark.  He jumped when I came in, and immediately said, "I'm sorry!  I got string stuck everywhere!"

Yes, indeed.  There was white string all over my bedroom, wrapped around the crib, the computer desk, etc.

Just another mess.  When life is crazy and stressful anyway, I tend to underreact to such things.  I merely said, "What in the world were you trying to do?"

What was his answer?  Can you guess?

"I was trying to trap a hefalump!"

falling asleep are you?

Timothy, my kindergärtner, is bright enough that we are using Daniel's second-grade curriculum to teach him alongside his second-grade brother.  It makes things much easier, and Timothy loves the math, English, spelling, and reading curriculum.  But second-grade science?  Not so much.

Overheard at the teaching table this morning, while Daddy taught about fossils:

Timothy:  "You're making me fall asleep!"

Plan B for Timothy's science coming soon.

Why Saturday school?  Daddy works all night long on Wednesday night, arriving home at 6:30 a.m. on Thursday morning.  I have to keep the kids quiet while he sleeps, so we decided to take Thursdays off.  When he wakes up between 12:00 p.m. to 1:00 p.m., I then go out and run our errands.

humbled by the error of my ways

Overheard in my dining room this morning:

Timothy (coming in from outdoor play, and looking carefully around the dining room):  "Who's coming over?"

Momma:  "No one.  Why?"

Timothy (taking off his shoes):  "Then why is the house so clean?"

I am humbled by this, knowing that for four years, my house has been disheveled--except when guests were expected.  Now that my new sleep schedule has commenced, I am able to keep up nicely.  I'm ashamed to admit that in the past I used my children as an excuse.  Yes, they keep me busy, but I still could have been a decent homemaker, loving them abundantly and consistently all the while.

I'm sorry Lord.  From now on, my best only.

Other tidbit:  My Anna Grace (9 months) is walking everywhere!  Camera seems broken.  Hoping new batteries will do the trick, but I doubt it.  The batteries are fairly new.

grace for tired mommas

I never intended this blog to be about my lack of sleep.  But since my Ever-So-Sweet Anna hasn't mastered the art yet, I guess it's still the topic of the day.

The girl is like an alarm clock.  Yes indeedy.  She knows when the clock will read 10:30 p.m., 12:35 a.m.,  2:35 a.m., 4:35 a.m., and finally, 6:35 a.m.--which lately has been the point at which breastmilk no longer does the trick.  She's up for the day...or at least for a couple of hours.

Did I mention I go to bed between 12:30 a.m. and 2:00 a.m.?

Let's just say Momma hasn't been exactly......hmm, well....spewing words of adoring praise toward her charges lately.  I'm sounding more like a drippy faucet, oft times spewing nagging corrections.  I'm ashamed to admit it.

So when the following conversation occurred a few days ago, I was blown away...by the grace of God.

The Scene--driving to AWANA and talking about our recent hike:

Momma:  "Do you remember the last time we were on that trail?  Momma was hugely pregnant and hot, carrying Anna Grace in the womb still.  Now today I carried her in my arms!  What a blessing that is!"

Daniel:  "Daddy doesn't think babies are a blessing.  That's for sure!" (laughing)  "Do you think we'll have more?"

Momma:  (Wondering how one tells a seven-year-old about vasectomies....a procedure I still don't agree had to happen.)  "Well, I don't know for sure, but I think God might consider me to be too old.  And Daddy too."

Daniel:  "But if we did have more, wouldn't you be happy?  Aren't babies always a blessing?" (I've said that many times...he's regurgitating.)

Momma:  "Oh, yes. I would be happy.  And Daddy loves his children very much, Daniel.  He just has a hard time with the crying and the waking.  You feel loved by Daddy, don't you?"

Daniel:  (laughing) "Well.....most of the time."

Momma:  Insanely curious as to what he would say, I tried this:  "Do you feel loved by me?"

Daniel:  (laughing) "Oh, yeah!  Every single minute and second I do!"

Okay, you Mommas.  Remember this.  We aren't perfect.  God still has chiseling to do on us.  But our deeply-felt love for our children?   He makes sure that comes through.  Loudly.  Grace abounds for tired, stressed-out Mommas.

Hallelujah.

And I know.  Don't say it.  I need to go to bed earlier.

looking up

Mommy and Daddy were lost in very earthly, worried thoughts this morning. God used our children to snap us out of it.

Emily picked up a small, old Bible off the end table.  She held it up and asked, "Old?"  "Yes", I replied, thinking that Daddy must have told her which Bibles she could handle.

Emily opened it up, turned to a random page, and pointed at some words, saying, "God loves me."

Daddy talked about going out for a prayer walk.  Then he looked at the clock and realized that he'd probably better get his shower.  He needed to leave for school at 12 noon today.  Talking to himself, he said, "I don't know what I should do.  I guess prayer is more important."

Daniel, hearing this, and wanting to go with Daddy on the prayer walk, said, "Yes, there's nothing more important than prayer.  Not in the whole world.  Ever."

So there you have it.  A good kick in the pants via our 2 and 7 year-olds.  God loves us.  And there's nothing more important than prayer.  Any questions?

No, Lord.  I think that just about covers it.  Thank you.

The day is looking up.

backwards domestics

Footnotes: Past Deadline: Monkey See, Monkey Do

Click on the above post for a really funny treat! Stephanie's writing is technically perfect, and always so engaging and funny! She writes a weekly humor column in her local newspaper.

My husband usually puts Emily's clothes on backwards (and sometimes the baby's diapers). He tries really hard to determine which way is the front. Tags are his main hint, but girl's clothes don't always have tags, and sometimes the tags are in the front.

What funny, backwards thing does your husband do domestically?

An Exchange

You know your math-loving five-year-old is under the influence of the Holy Spirit when you have this exchange:

Mommy: "Timmy, we're going to a church event. Time to get changed."

Timothy: "What time do we have to be there?"

Mommy: "Four o'clock."

Timothy: "But we can't!" That's what time Cyberchase is on!"

Timothy: Ten seconds later - "Oh, but Jesus is more important than the TV. I know that."

We make parenting mistakes frequently--especially in the area of saying too much around the kids about our stressers. Learning to control the tongue is the hardest thing most of us have to deal with, at least in the area of self-control. It's so nice to be reminded that God's grace is always there--making the best of our imperfect parenting efforts.

I guess these guys will turn out fine after all.

Never dull around here!

As of late, Emily Rose had been getting out of bed around 6:30 a.m. or 7:00 a.m. and coming directly into our bedroom for quiet morning cuddles. A beautiful thing. That changed two mornings ago. You remember the face cream she was after...and the cheesestick? Well, we planned to lock her door the next night, to avoid another potentially dangerous situation the following morning. Safety gates are useless; she gets over them or pushes them down quite easily.

But perimenopause puts one into foggy brain, just as pregnancy does. So I forgot to lock the door, and besides, I wasn't really comfortable with that solution because how would she get out in case of a fire? And setting our alarm for fifteen minutes before we expected her up wasn't feasible either; we can't get to bed before midnight (chores you know), and after midnight our sleep is interrupted often by Anna. Every minute of sleep counts.

But the fact that she got into the fish oil capsules yesterday morning really drove it home that this could be a matter of life and death. Luckily, they apparently taste horrible--when chewed! Yes, the evidence I found was that she chewed it up, and then must have swallowed the oil, and afterwards put the shell into a paper towel. Nice and neat, see? She could have left the shell sticking to the furniture. I hounded her for fifteen minutes about how many she had sampled, and finally came to the conclusion that it was only one. Stressful way to start the day, don't you think? Never a dull moment, I tell you. And yes, I have now cleared all surfaces of anything remotely dangerous. I'm a slow learner.

So yesterday, I bought the safety doorknob attachment...you know, the thing that is supposed to prevent children from turning door knobs? Well, suffice it to say that the score is now Emily = 2, Parents = 0. Yeah, she's a problem solver, gosh darnit. Problem solving is a wonderful thing when math and science come along in the schooling years....but at two? It's dangerous!

Anna Grace takes after big sister. We don't have any sound/music systems in our house. We could never afford anything except for a boom box. So yesterday I set it up in the living room so I could listen to our Christian station while I sorted and folded socks. The cord was well above Anna's crawling or reaching height...or so I thought. I left the room briefly to distribute socks into bedrooms. When I returned, there was no music playing, and the cord was in Anna's mouth. How she solved the problem of the cord being well above her head and reach, I'll never know. The only reasonable solution is that she pulled up onto a box in the area and had just enough arm strength to get to the cord and fall back down. That girl is not only a problem solver, but a very, very strong girl! She amazes me. Yesterday she mastered not only sitting up tall with a straight back, but also getting into this position from the floor. At seven and a quarter months Anna, you are quite the athletic type!

The newest thing you are working on is standing up. You use your arm strength to get yourself into a touch-your-toes standing-stretch position. I can tell you want to straighten up from there and stand, but you don't yet have the balance or stomach muscles to make it happen. But you try numerous times a day.

In other news, Daddy forgot Emily Rose last night at the church nursery. He was helping in Vacation Bible School and went to the boys' classroom to pick them up and then proceeded to drive home without Emily. This happened after he had just gone in there to check on her before getting the boys. She has been crying again in the nursery, for the last three weeks, after having stopped it about three months ago. We are baffled and stressed about it.

Last Sunday she had a rash on her upper chest, due to irritation from sunscreen. She has the most sensitive skin and almost always has some dermatitis--even though we are careful about not using anything scented and we always buy sensitive-skin products. Anyhow, she was crying on the church worker's lap and got overheated. This fact, along with the rash, made the worker think Emily was sick. She isolated Emily from the rest of the kids and had someone go and get Don from the sanctuary. He was baffled and felt her forehead, which the worker said was "burning up". It wasn't by this time, and Don told the worker that Emily definitely wasn't sick. He didn't mention her nearly constant eczema, as I would have done. The worker then agreed that she didn't seem hot. She asked Emily if she wanted to stay, and of course Emily said no. Don brought her home to me, since I stayed home with the baby that morning, and then he drove back to church. Emily is so active she would never stay put in the sanctuary.

Don took her to the nursery last night while he helped with VBS, so that Emily could "get back in the saddle" and try to get over her fear of the nursery. There is a very kind elderly blind gentleman who works the nursery with his wife during special events like Awana and VBS. Emily loves him, and spent time in his lap hugging him. That helped her fears and crying tremendously, thank the Lord. He isn't in there on Sundays, unfortunately.

Anyhow, back to Emily being forgotten. Daddy came to the door with the boys and I didn't see Emily in her carseat in the van. I said, "WHERE'S EMILY?!!" Don gave me a mildly alarmed look, and just said, "I'll go back and get her!" It's an eight-minute drive, and I was hoping no one was too inconvenienced by the shocking fact that, yes, we forgot our beloved daughter!

Meanwhile, I gave the boys a quick snack and hustled them into their pajamas and supervised the washing up and toothbrushing. They had returned home around 8:50 p.m., and it was now pushing 9:15. Did I mention I hate VBS with as much passion as my children love it? Yes, children get saved by the millions across the country due to VBS. That's a fabulous thing. But by Tuesday night, my children are so excited that they just can't fall asleep...until about 10:00 - 10:30!...leaving us to deal with the behavior issues that ultimately result. Grueling!

Last year we settled on an every other night schedule for VBS, knowing they would miss some fun. This year, Timothy is 5.5 years old, so we thought he could handle it better. But no, he was so excited he didn't fall asleep until 10:15 p.m. last night. Most churches now do it at night, due to all the dual-career families. That irritates me, but I know it's just one hellish week among many other normal weeks. Not really a big deal, and I'm ashamed for being so irritated.

After all, Timothy accepted the Lord during Monday night's VBS, so what in the world am I complaining about? He previously did have a relationship with the Lord, but he's never raised his hand before to a formal altar call. That public acknowledgement is important, and helps prep them for baptism and sharing their testimony when they feel brave enough. Daniel has been a Christian for quite awhile, but still doesn't feel like he's ready for the dunking. We told him he could wait until he feels ready, but that the Lord is always very pleased when we get baptized.

Anyhow, back again to the fact that our beloved daughter was forgotten about.

Daniel: "How COULD Daddy forget Emily? How could he do that!"

Mom: "I don't know." (Then I tried to change the subject.) "Did you have ever so much fun tonight?"

Daniel: "Emily must be crying her eyes out! I can't believe Daddy did that!"

Mom: "Well, didn't you and Timothy forget her as well? You didn't say anything to Daddy on the way home, did you?"

Daniel: "But I'm not the adult! Adults should NEVER forget their kids!"

And there you have it, Blogworld! Daniel is ready to fire us. And he's not even a teenager yet. God help us!

BTW: Emily was not the least traumatized by being forgotten. She seemed pretty unaware, actually.

Emily's Funny Quote/ Online Bible Study

I've been quite absent-minded lately in my writing. I used the nonword "unexplainable" rather than "inexplicable". And "neurologist" rather than "urologist". It's crazy how I'll be going about my day and it will just pop into my brain suddenly--"Hey, you used the wrong word on that blog post." Weird. Must be that often when I'm writing during the day, I'm conscious of the fact that someone will need me momentarily, even though Daddy is out there holding down the fort. He isn't interest in blogs--even this one--but he does allow me time during the day to come in and record my random thoughts. I must come out of here more relaxed, maybe?

He'll start computer-tech school in July and currently still has the two part-time jobs, both of which are second shift for three hours each time. My life will become a whole lot crazier soon enough. A full-time job will come up hopefully soon, and along with school, it'll mean he is out of the house most of the time. God is really using this time to get me connected to more moms online, who really have Godly wisdom to share, humbly and with love. I'm so grateful for your blogs, Moms! Stay-at-home moms are so isolated! Even getting to a Bible Study is a monumental task with four kids--one of whom is an on-demand nursing baby! With so many moms wanting and willing to share about what God is doing in their lives, I get plenty of Bible Study online, complete with the accompanying Bible verses to jot down and use for reflection and prayer time. It's a beautiful thing!

Anyway, I wanted to run in here and quickly record one of Emily's funny quotes. To set it up, I must start with the fact that Daniel just loves nature--especially learning about and running after insects and amphibians. ADHD/ADD kids usually have something in their lives on which they hyperfocus. For Daniel, that is life science. He finds amphibians and insects around our yard, at the park with Daddy, and in the nearby drainage ditch (aka "the frog pond" LOL).

Every spring, summer and fall, my house is full of insect containers and makeshift frog/toad containers. One such frog container has been in the dining room, by the back door, for a few weeks now. It contains baby frogs and the insects he catches for them. It's a container that Don bought for Daniel at a pet store, with a snap-on lid. It is full of muddy water and mud, both of which I fear will ruin our nearly-white carpet. The carpet didn't look that white when we saw a small square of it at the carpet place. Beware of using small square samples as a guide in choosing new carpet. Really, it seemed beige more than anything else.

But I digress. Daniel keeps carrying that container around, and I find it in the playroom or in his room every few days. I fully support him in his interests, but carrying around that filthy container just isn't allowed. So I keep saying, with a not-very-patient voice, that the filthy contents could easily spill and ruin the carpet. "Please keep it on the back-door carpet!"

Well, yesterday, it was at the back door where it is supposed to be, and Daniel opened it up to show Emily the frogs. Emily is always picking up the bigger frogs from the big aquarium we have outside-- for Daniel's creatures. She is a real tomboy actually, while still having that nurturing femininity. I was very surprised when she responded to Daniel--in all seriousness--with the word "Filthy!". I burst out laughing! Listening to her imitate me sounded so funny. It was also a humble reminder that they pick up on our attitudes so quickly. I'm not partial to touching frogs myself, but I really DO want my children to love nature!

I love that my kids can touch bits of nature here. When we lived in California, Daniel once picked up a black widow spider, sending us to the Urgent Care, where they decided it probably hadn't bitten him. What a relief it has been to be in Ohio, where harmless wild life is abundant in our yard--katydids, praying mantises, various beautiful spiders, amphibians, squirrels, chipmunks, non-poisonous snakes (see those infrequently), and an array of birds. What a blessing, God!

Reflecting on this reminds me, God, to thank you for all of it! Thank you for these precious, curious children--for their noise, their messes, their liveliness, their sense of wonder. May they grow in knowledge of you daily, by delighting in your creations. You are an awesome God! May we as parents reflect your love daily, despite the adult concerns that often cloud our vision. May we more often see the world, and our lives, as simply as our children do. We have much to learn from them. Thank you that they sharpen us--help to sanctify us. In your name, Amen!

A good laugh - Dear Emily

Dear Emily,

Just taking a second to tell you about a very funny part of your early-language learning period.

Each one of my children has said "thank you" differently. Daniel still says "sank you". Timothy's rendition was pretty accurate.

When you say it, My Rosebud, everyone giggles--if it's their first time hearing it. Can you guess why?

When you pray at dinnertime, here is how it goes: "F--- you Jesus, for the food."

When someone gives you something and I remind you of your manners, you say "f--- you" with a smile on your face. Then instead of a "You're welcome" and a smile back, the person just giggles and looks at Momma and then giggles some more.

I'm sure you wonder what is so funny. As soon as the person recovers from the giggling, they hug you or pat you and say "You're welcome", with a smile.

Thank you for the sweet times, My Rose. You are truly a delight! Part of me can't wait for the proper pronunciation to come in, and part of me will be sad when it does. We mommas need a good laugh, at least once a day.

All My Love,

Momma

Funny Quotables

Dear Daniel,

Mommy is going to try harder to record all the cute things her precious kiddos say.

Tonight we were taking a family walk. You and Timothy were riding your bikes along side us. You fell in the street and I winced and rushed toward you, wondering how bad the street abrasion was. I guess you saw fear in my eyes, or grave concern, because you blurted out, in all seriousness: "Call 911!"

After we arrived home we had the brownies Daddy and Timothy made. You wanted seconds, and since you had eaten a good dinner, I said you could have another small piece. Instead of cutting yourself a small piece, you cut a large square while I was hanging things from the dryer. You sat down near me and said, "I guess I'd better share this. It is a pretty big piece." I looked over at it and said, (laughing) "Daniel! You'd better believe we're sharing it. That's huge!" Then I got a spoon and ate two bites of it. While you waited, you turned to look over your shoulder and said (to your imaginary friend, whom you call Dukey) "Dukey, she hasn't let me have a single bite yet." This made me laugh so hard I could barely keep the brownie in my mouth! You and Timothy do the imaginary friend thing as a joke amongst yourselves. I've never really been a part of it before. Very funny, Daniel!

I love you! Thank you for all the good times! It's a pleasure to be your Momma!

With Much Love,
Momma